Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go to A&e with my dd3 *pictures*

975 replies

littlemaemae · 29/03/2016 13:57

My DD who is 3 has been having stomach/bowel problems for the last year. Diagnose as constipation. She can not pass a stool for weeks despite fantastic diet and laxatives and weeks is in severe pain most days. She is very petite and skinny but her stomach has swollen to look 9 months pregnant. Getting no where with doctors/hospital etc.
Aibu to think this is not how a heathy child's stomach should look.

OP posts:
rumbleinthrjungle · 01/04/2016 23:50

Poor little girl! I hope now you've had to take her back in they might think this through a bit more now.

Clarkgriswoldforever · 01/04/2016 23:57

I hope all is ok op and you're dd is getting the right treatment now from the hospital. Flowers for you and a Star for your dd being so brave!

ARichVernacular · 01/04/2016 23:59

landrover how awful, I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers

littlemae I hope you and littlest mae are being taken seriously at last. Well done you for fighting for her (not that you should have to).

Original poster
littlemaemae · 02/04/2016 00:04

Landrover, you are an absolutely amazing person for living through the worst thing that can happen to a parent. I will be thinking of you.

We are on the ward. Eyebrows raised about why we are back.
She is in pain and very bloated.
We are 4th in the queue to be seen.
DD hasn't even questioned why we are here. She's snuggled down in bed. I don't know what they will do for her, if anything

OP posts:
Hissy · 02/04/2016 00:07

Hang on in there lovely! We're all here thinking of you!!

Clarkgriswoldforever · 02/04/2016 00:07

Hi op, has the risk of sepsis been talked about at all? What are they saying about your dds behaviours changing in last few hours. I think you need to refuse to leave!

VagueIdeas · 02/04/2016 00:08

They need to answer those questions from lougie, seriously. Basic questions that any medically trained person should be asking in light of your DD's symptoms.

Clarkgriswoldforever · 02/04/2016 00:09

I feel so frustrated for you Sad, you must all just be so utterly exhausted.

conkerpods · 02/04/2016 00:11

Thinking of your family OP and especially your DD. Flowers

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 02/04/2016 00:12

Do not leave. I am outraged

twinjocks · 02/04/2016 00:13

You're probably on your mobile, OP, so may not be able to scroll back easily - I've cut and pasted from Lougie's post a few pages back:

This is the time to be stubborn, I'm afraid. I had to demand to be induced when DD2 stopped growing in the womb at 35+2 weeks. The registrar said 'oh I've seen far worse growth curves'. I said 'can you guarantee me that if you don't induce me, my child will be alive this time next week?' She said 'no.' I said 'can you guarantee me that the fact that her growth has stopped is from a benign cause?' 'No'. 'Then I want to be induced. Today.' She went to get her Consultant to deal with this unreasonable woman. The consultant said that either watch and wait or induction were reasonable. I said 'then induction it is!' I was induced the next morning.

I would start down that line. 'Can you guarantee me that this is idiopathic constipation?' (Only a fool would say yes). 'Can you assure me that there is no possibility of harm to my DD by watching and waiting?' 'Can you assure me that there is no likelihood of structural defect in the bowel?' Can you assure me that there is no likelihood of a perforation?.....ask the questions. Show the staff that you are concerned about serious complications.

Hope this helps.

EduCated · 02/04/2016 00:14

Another delinking to say how sad and shocked I am that you are still going through this. You are all doing brilliantly, and surely they have to do something now?!

Original poster
littlemaemae · 02/04/2016 00:15

She said 'well was that because she was tired? Hmm
I said no, that happens when she has too much poo inside her.
I think because her temp is normal they think she is fine.
Sepsis is a define risk. Are they going to wait until she is in imminent danger but up until that point just leave her to it?
I'm exhausted and have no hope of her being helped.
We are here for assessment, they could send her home.
It's not even a proper admission.

OP posts:
giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 02/04/2016 00:15

Write down what they say with their name. The time and date beside it. Then make them initial it.

Saying "it's probably nothing" with time date and a signature suddenly seems to make them realise that maybe they could be wrong when faced with legal action

Wafflenose · 02/04/2016 00:17

Ask again for the X-ray which was ordered days ago. Show them the photos. Tell them she has been crying in pain for days.

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 02/04/2016 00:17

I will bloody phone them for you! Seriously

Original poster
littlemaemae · 02/04/2016 00:19

Fab questions from Logue.
And advice from everyone else, I don't know how to name tag or quote . It's all very helpful. Giraffe I can see how that would be really powerful. I wouldn't mess with you!

OP posts:
MunchMunch · 02/04/2016 00:22

YY to what Twinjocks and Giraffes have said.

I think you need to make it clear that you are VERY serious about this and will take any action, be that legal action or complaints to the relevant bodies. It's all well and good telling you one thing while she is "well" but if things take a turn for the worse - well, no one wants that on their toes!

Clarkgriswoldforever · 02/04/2016 00:22

Say that to them- 'We are exhausted and she has no hope of help'

Shame them to their face. Ask the Qs posted above. And definitely start to do what Giraffe said about getting them to sign and confirm what they're saying.

Wotshudwehave4T · 02/04/2016 00:23

Stand your ground until they help her. You are being brilliant. Hugs, handholds and wishing you all the strength in the world to get through this.

PotOfYoghurt · 02/04/2016 00:25

This thread is going to fill up soon, perhaps someone would like to make a new one and like to it here? Ideally Mae could do it for highlighting purposes but you have other things to focus on at the moment!

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 02/04/2016 00:25

I dressed up in a power suit and had a clip board and high heels and got a MNER moved from a low care ward to a higher level of care one. After she had been asking for a Dr since 5am and I went in at 2.30 and Dr was there within 20 min. MN friend was very ill and had been in high dependency. She was dismissed as being a bit anxious but actually she had previously been ventilated for same condition and was unable to breathe properly.

I can't stand lazy/lax health care. Especially for children/those who can't advocate for themselves.

You'll need to start a new thread soon as when this gets to 1000 posts it will be full.

Sending strong vibes from Glasgow

HowBadIsThisPlease · 02/04/2016 00:26

I wouldn't do that initialing written comments thing. You aren't here to get evidence for a case if something goes wrong, you are here with your daughter to make sure things go right. You can assertively refuse to be fobbed off without flashing notebooks about and putting their backs up.
Rightly or wrongly (wrongly, obviously), if you make it into a confrontation and about winning, then the HCPs may also take this mindset on and may be psychologically far too invested in "winning" i.e. minimising the risks to your child. keep them open-minded and alert to the real facts of the case, by keeping them on your side. Not to say don't be assertive! but the minute you make this into some bald thing of you vs them by implicitly threatening legal action, you're chipping away at their goodwill.

Most HCPs I am sure are bigger than that and would remain unaffected. But this is human nature and they're only human. Don't take the risk of putting someone's back up.

Good luck. You're doing really well and like everyone here my heart goes out to you and your daughter.

Original poster
littlemaemae · 02/04/2016 00:27

We also have no bedding

OP posts:
HarveySchlumpfenburger · 02/04/2016 00:30

Agree with the last few posters. At this point I think you need to make it quite clear that you will be making a complaint about the treatment so far. And you also need to start making sure you have the evidence for that complaint if her treatment continues the way it has.

Hope you manage to get some help tonight.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.