Is having overweight kids child abuse?

[Mummyme1987]

A friend posted on Fb that parents with fat kids are child abusers. Except for kids with medical problems. It started with comments on how it's awful that there's a generous fit section in clothes shops. I'm shocked that people think this. I think the majority of parents don't just feed their kids crap, and some kids are bigger than others, and unless it is a very extreme case it's not child abuse. Thoughts?

We're all different, my youngest 2 are as skinny as whippets and have a sweet tooth ( indulged in small measures) eldest dc was 'chunky' till teenager, then resembled an eligated skinny stretch Arnold.

elongated, darn autocorrect grr

My kids do an active sport and do the add on training. There are a fair few plump kids and when we compete there are some who are shockingly large. I figure their parents are tackling the issue which for them has manifested as obesity but for others creates poor teeth, or scrawny malnourished kids. Feeding a piss poor diet creates worse health outcomes but it's hard... So easy to eat cheap crap and it's everywhere. It's neglectful not to address health problems in your kids, it's neglectful to create them but perfectly possible to do this whilst full of love and otherwise competent at parenting.

I'm sorry I'm not entirely sure what point you're trying to make TheFitFatty?

Are you saying that parents should allow their children to become overweight, in the hope they might eventually grow out of it?

What if they don't grow out of it? What if their weight affects their health before they eventually grow out of it?

I also think it depends on the age.

A 5 year old doesn't decide what they eat.

A 10 year old is capable of 'sneaking food', or buying something in a shop, etc.

It's such a massive spectrum.

A mother, who has a parent in hospital and has just lost her job, who decides to live off of bad food (and feeds it to the children, so they all put on weight) isn't being abusive... It's just making a bad choice; it's completely different to abusing...

GreenLounger

I don't think it's abuse, I really don't...

Why not?

Also, I don't think a few easter eggs is going to make a child fat.

Easter comes once a year. It's not to blame. Everyday diet and habits are to blame.

My daughter is very slim. She eats plenty of unhealthy food though, she eats pizza, pies, chips, puddings, cakes, sweets at school and after care. She also eats some of these foods at home, although I do cook good meals and insist she eats vegetables and fruit every day. Luckily she doesn't have a huge appetite and moves a lot. But I can see how if she were a very hungry or lazy child things would be very different and I would be the one blamed for her weight problem, even though more than half of her weekly meals aren't supplied by me. I think it's unfair to lay the blame solely with the parent, when it's as much the fault of food manufacturing companies, advertising, schools, poverty, government (giving poor advice).

I just explained why

I'm saying that to call a child being overweight child abuse is a bit ridiculous, and frankly some of the attitudes on here are undoubtedly what contribute to eating disorders.

If parents are going to be called abusive because there child is overweight, then undoubtedly that attitude will lead to dangerously restrictive diets and overexercise. Not to mention a life time of unhealthy eating and yo-yo dieting.

More children die from being underweight, or neglected to starvation then die from being overweight. How about we focus on the actually abusive thing.

He was drinking juice from a baby's bottle. He was so fat he had rolls of fat around his eyes. Shit parenting decisions affect your kids.

I was working on a marketing project with public health advisors in a London borough with some of the highest rates of childhood obesity in the UK.
It was a really interesting look at how hard it is to tackle the issue.

Poorly educated parents with limited understanding of the healthy eating agenda
Obseogenic environments driving the crisis, cheap fatty and sugary foods in huge portions available everywhere - eight year olds eating an entire days calories in one fried chicken takeaway.
Poor access to safe green spaces and heavy traffic to negotiate.
In that particular borough, cultural problems allowing girls to partake in mixed sports.

It is a tough problem to solve and not necessarily all to do with poor parenting. Many of those parents genuinely want to do better but are not equipped to do so.
The funding cuts to local government public health budgets are very short sighted in my opinion.

My DS had rolls of fat round his eyes at 2. He's got a big chubby face, still does even though he's at the lower end of 'healthy' weight for his height. He inherited his cheeks from me. I also used to give him a bit of apple juice in a baby bottle. You want to call the cops on me for abuse now?

Definitely a child of under about 14-15 being overweight is bad parenting. I was overweight from he age of about 5 as a child and when I mentioned that being akin to to my mother was very much of the opinion that it was all my fault. Pointing out that I was the child and she was the adult made no difference - nope, all my fault.

If you're the adult, you are in control of your family's lifestyle. You are in control of what food goes on the table, and what attitudes to food and bodies you pass down. That last one is absolutely key - in my mum's case she has her own food issues which unfortunately she passed on to me, but she still won't see it and takes no responsibility.

It's just not good enough IMO - barring medical issues, if you have children who are not yet independent enough to fend for themselves (so under about 14-15) and they are overweight, you have to admit you are responsible for that.

Easter, Christmas, Valentine's are special occasions. A break from the norm.

You could stuff your face on all of them, totally over indulge, but if you eat fine the rest of the time you're not going to be fat.

I haven't very slim child and one obese. The latter has asd and it is a constant battle. We have been managing it better since we got a diagnosis last year and now his weight has dropped a bit and stabilised. He is still obese at the moment. I'm very aware how people probably view me and I find it very upsetting. I am not neglectful or abusive and I find it offensive that I am seen that way.

If parents are going to be called abusive because there child is overweight, then undoubtedly that attitude will lead to dangerously restrictive diets and overexercise. Not to mention a life time of unhealthy eating and yo-yo dieting.

Undoubtedly? I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. As much as I think it's neglect and not abuse, parents need to take care of their children's health which includes diet and exercise.

More children die from being underweight, or neglected to starvation then die from being overweight. How about we focus on the actually abusive thing.

In the UK? Really? Do you have a link to that please?

bananafish makes really good points. It is massively harder for poorly educated urban parents to combat those factors that will lead to their child being overweight. But though it's more understandable, it's still bad parenting.

A (healthy and NT) morbidly obese 4 year old who gets out of breath climbing the stairs is a real concern. I can't see how that wouldn't be problematic parenting. It's a whole different ballgame when you've got an independent 15 year old who's out of the house most of the day, eating with friends and just generally being a teenager.

I live in a borough that has a massive poverty and obesity problem.

I still think 'poorly educated parents', have a duty to educate themselves with regards to diet and exercise.

And since we have the internet with all this information at their fingertips...not to mention all that's being taught through schools, there really is no excuse for saying "Oh I didn't realise".

If your child is overweight, not only will you be able to see it but you'll also get a lot of free advice on how to deal with it before it gets worse.

I wonder if people still put it down to 'puppy fat', when in some cases it's tipped over to obesity.

I subtly monitor my dc's weight (9 & 7) and update their red books a few times a year.

Neglect IS abuse. The 4 categories of abuse are sexual, physical, emotional and neglect.

Namechanger22 that is exactly it. Most children move a lot and or have small appetites. My Don struggles with physical activity as he has dyspraxia and well as asd. He could eat a very greedy adult under the table. He sneaks food, steals from plates, eats off the floor. His obsession is computers which with asd is an all consuming one. It is a constant battle and I also have to take into account his self esteem (lots of people tell him he is fat - school kids, grandparents etc). It is so easy when your kid loves running about playing all the time. I know kids who eat more than ds and are thin. It is easier for those parents than me. Call that making excuses if you like. I'm not, it's just harder for us.

Of course it's abuse, I can't think of another scenario where you could dossomething to your child that would cause serious health issues, bullying and lifetime of misery and it not be abuse
You can dig your own grave with your knife and fork if you like but when you do the same to your child it's abuse

I am not well educated and grew up on a council estate.

I spotted my child was getting over weight. As a parent it's my responsibility to get the information to go out and find a way to help.

I am sorry but 'poorly educated' so can't do anything doesn't wash with me.

Ds not Don