Is having overweight kids child abuse?

[Mummyme1987]

A friend posted on Fb that parents with fat kids are child abusers. Except for kids with medical problems. It started with comments on how it's awful that there's a generous fit section in clothes shops. I'm shocked that people think this. I think the majority of parents don't just feed their kids crap, and some kids are bigger than others, and unless it is a very extreme case it's not child abuse. Thoughts?

Curren that's very frightening how by doing what you think is right and giving them the option of a warm school meal they piled on the weight! And scary how parents choose to ignore the situation

There's a massive difference between a slightly chubby kid and a morbidly obese kid.

When you see a child of 9 or 10 with rolls of fat then yes, there's obviously a concern. There's a huge risk of diabetes plus breathing and circulation problems.

What are the root causes?

Lack of education in the parents with cooking healthy food,

portion control (someone I know was happily giving their 8 year old adult size portions and then extra - child very overweight),

lack of exercise (too many kids are driven everywhere but is that down to the school system where kids are travelling miles on buses or in cars everyday instead of being able to walk to school?)

Laziness. Because it's easier to buy junk food and slam it on a tray in the oven or get a takeaway.

There's a myriad of reasons why children are obese. Every child will have a different reason but 9/10 it is down to what they eat, how much they eat and how little they are moving.

And how would you determine circumstances? My brother was overweight, I was underweight, we did the same amount of exercise and ate the same things.

So that would appear to be the problem.

Children are individuals with individual needs. What suits one won't always suit another.

We don't have those here and dc school has a healthy eating policy.

So does ours apparently. Dd is doing some undercover work. Dh is a chef and ran the catering side of care homes for years.

We also have a food business. So have experience. Dd is going in and buying products for us to look at, at home. So far we have discovered the pre packed cookies are 380kcals. The nutritional info is at available at school. They haven't had wholemeal bread for the last 3 weeks of last term.

We are collating all the info for Dd to take to her student council meetings with the teachers.

The food they serve is not ok, even though they claim to have a healthy eating policy.

They have banned Coke and Diet Coke. But sell fizzy drinks with more sugar than Coke and the sell flavoured coffees with over 15g of sugar.

The kids at our school didn't get that way from Ella's pouches.

I'm guessing it's the Coke and chocolate the parents turn up with. The takeaways, meals out, large portions and access to large amounts of food.

I think it is complicated.

I don't think many parents set out to make their children fat, or that they just don't care when it happens. I would probably class it as a neglect and not abuse, personally.

If your child is young enough that it only eats what you provide then yes, it is the parent's fault if there is no medical conditions involved.

Surely if having overweight children is abuse, then having underweight children should be deemed abuse as well?

I have underweight children. I can't do anything about that it is genetic and it isn't a case of them not eating enough. When my first born was a baby he was in and out of hospital with failure to thrive but at 17 he is still tiny and can eat whatever he likes without gaining a thing. You can't call that neglect because there was nothing I could do to change that. The dr who hospitalised him and got the nurses to feed him admitted defeat when he didn't gain anything in hospital and actually gained more at home with me.

They put him on a high calorie diet when he was a bit older and he still didn't gain much weight, not enough to take him out of the underweight category.

Children are individuals with individual needs. What suits one won't always suit another.

Exactly.

Two of my children couldn't eat the same amount as my other three without becoming overweight. It would be stupid of me to feed them all the same and expect them all to be a healthy weight. They are different.

I do wonder about these healthy eating policies when they still sell such junk at school.

A kid getting the right amount of exercise is not going to get fat from Ella's pouches, for goodness sake.

I just think we don't necessarily realise how much exercise children need.

This is why kids who are very sporty or who are allowed/able to play outside every day, rarely tend to have weight problems. Well, unless they're being fed massive portion sizes.

I don't think it's abuse, I really don't...

I think in a small number of cases it is neglect. There are some cases where the child is starting to suffer medical problems due to extreme obesity and the parents just can't accept / engage with any strategies for change. That is not to say the parents don't love their child but there comes a point where inability to meet a child's needs is neglect. Compared to the large numbers of children who are overweight it would be an absolutely tiny percentage where social services would feel it met the criteria for their involvement (or indeed where health care would involve them).

I think it is difficult for many engaged and caring parents. As mentioned up thread there are sometimes families where one child is overweight and the others slim. I think that must be very hard to manage. Overweight/ obesity is just so common now - the overweight child that stood out in my school class 25 yrs ago would be one of many now. So many adults repeatedly try and fail to lose weight/ maintain weight loss that I have huge sympathy to people trying and struggling with their children.

There is a general issue around food marketing too. I was thinking about this in the supermarket the other day. We lurch from one special event to another. It's Christmas - buy loads of food. It's Valentine's Day - buy chocolates, cook a meal. It's Mother's Day - buy chocolate. Oh look it's Easter - gorge your children on chocolate eggs. I was going to say subliminally but it isn't is actually very overt - we are constantly being encouraged to eat (and drink but obviously that doesn't affect children - but equally as dangerous)

We all have choices but I'm sure all of us feel pressure for our children to have what others have.

So, so many factors at play here.

So that would appear to be the problem.

But it wasn't a child. My brother shot up to 6 foot 4 at 13 and ended up being thin.

You can't tell how a child is going to grow, or how they are going to store fat in the lead up to a growth spurt.

You'll end up blaming good parents for something that's the fault of genetics.

Sorry that should read wasn't a problem not wasn't a child

I saw a obese toddler recently. Properly obese, not just overweight. He couldn't have been much older than my 2.5 year old. He was also drinking juice from a baby's bottle. The mother was also overweight, although the gran was more standard sized.

I don't think it's necessarily abuse more poor decisions made by parents. Some parents give their children sweets/ice cream/cake/McDonalds frequently as rewards or treats which people sometimes view as showing their kids they love them. Portions as well can be huge!
Yes my DD loves pizza, hot dogs, sweets and ice cream but doesn't eat them all the time nor do we call them "treats".
I have seen kids my DD's age clearly obese getting out of breath very easily and do think that's sad but have never thought those children are being abused.

I do think it's abuse/neglect, if you aren't valuing the importance of your child's diet and exercise routine, you're setting them up for failure and name-calling in the future. I imagine secondary school would be brutal for them.

drinking juice

Dear lord, not juice!!!!! at 2.5. Call the fucking police!

Yes marketing is an issue, I had never thought about it but yes it's every event is food related.

Our family had food for rewards, yes I can see how that's shaped my view of treats.

Thefitfatty, your overweight brother eventually shot up to be slim but nobody knew that would happen for sure did they? So it was luck rather than judgement?

Depends on all the factors. If you feed your kids crap all the time then yes, your abusing their bodies

I did ask grand parents not to buy eggs this year. Only one listened.

If they are a bit chubby ( and I have a boy that is a bit on the heavier side but by no means obese) then that's okay, everyone grows differently but to have very overweight and obese kids for no reason other than poor diet and lack of exercise then yes that is abusive.

your overweight brother eventually shot up to be slim but nobody knew that would happen for sure did they?

Given all the men in my family are well over 6ft it was a pretty foregone conclusion that he would be tall. It's called common sense and genetics.

Same as despite my son being a chunky monkey as a toddler, I wasn't worried about it because I also knew he was going to be tall. (which he is).