Is having overweight kids child abuse?

[Mummyme1987]

A friend posted on Fb that parents with fat kids are child abusers. Except for kids with medical problems. It started with comments on how it's awful that there's a generous fit section in clothes shops. I'm shocked that people think this. I think the majority of parents don't just feed their kids crap, and some kids are bigger than others, and unless it is a very extreme case it's not child abuse. Thoughts?

Aside from medical reasons, I don't think there is any real excuse for having an obese preschool child as you can control pretty much everything they eat. As they get older, it gets more complex.
I do think it's neglectful to have a seriously overweight child and do nothing to try and tackle it. If parents are at least trying to do something, they're not being neglectful.
My DCs' diet isn't the best but they're all a healthy weight. If DD was putting a lot of weight on, I would definitely do something but I'd find it difficult because I used to work in eating disorders so have this absolute terror about her getting anorexia.
I'm a child of the 70's and I don't remember our diets being great and we used to eat quite a lot of sweets. My secondary school had a tuck shop which kids would race to at break time to buy iced buns and Mars bars. The dinners were pretty stodgy and pudding was usually a huge slab of sponge and custard. Spam fritters were a staple food. As others have said, the main difference was that kids were a lot more active.
On a simplistic level 'eat less, move more' is true but saying that to someone who overeats to deal with deep seated emotional issues is like telling an anorexic that they 'just' need to eat more.
I spent years of my life lurching between binging and starving, obsessively counting calories, weighing myself 3 times a day etc.
Then I decided I'd had enough, threw my scales away and bought myself a bike.
When I stopped dieting, I discovered that I'm actually one of those people whose appetite naturally regulates itself so, if I pig out a bit over Christmas, my appetite reduces a bit when it's over and I just have a natural desire to eat healthy. For me, staying slim is simple but I know it isn't for others.
I do think it's worth doing more research about why some people don't have an 'off switch' with food while others do.

Well it is for parent/s to put theory into action

No we can not control everything that a child eats away from home but we can certainly manage what they eat at home and make sure they get some exercise. This put into place before they are teenagers is a good start

We know some parents don't bother, their children are fed crap diets because it's easy to put something in the oven, we know some parents cba to go the park because it's boring and they children playing on screens all day and before anyone points it out I know for some there is little choice for others it's down to being lazy

Yep park is boring at times so is cooking day in day but there you go stop making excuses and neglecting your role as a parent

This issu

This issue is a red tag to me! Of course, not including medical conditions, and yes a tiny bit chubby in a younger child, so lo g as they aren't eating rubbish, can be lost. But so many blatantly fat kids today whose parents don't see it or don't care, and so many excuses! Puppy fat is lost when a child become mobile/active. There are so many kids with type 2 diabetes today and other health pribs, never heard of a few years ago. These kids can look forward to a load of serious health issues in adulthood, all thanks to their parents

It's a big big problem for HCP's at the moment especially with this rise of 'fat shaming' and 'health at every size' malarky.

It's our jobs to educate people, and to let them know when something is going a bit wrong and how we can tackle it. But it's an extremely touchy subject when it comes to kids and the animosity that comes with it is astounding. You can say it in the nicest way possible but still get accused of fat shaming - which shouldn't be a problem anyway because kids shouldn't be fat full stop, when they're older they can make the decision whether they want to buy into movements like HAES.

Who buys cookery books nowadays Miaow?

The internet is full of step-by-step video tutorials, that teach you to cook the most basic of meals, with the most basic/cheapest ingredients.

That's just one of the many wonderful things about the internet being at just about everyone's fingertips.

My DS even taught himself to play the guitar, using video tutorials

This is the sort of attitude that just astounds me, not sure if anyone has seen it before www.ravishly.com/2016/03/15/stop-fat-shaming-my-toddler

I think the situation is much more complex than fat kid=child abuse. There are many reasons why a child might be fat and I think it's these that have to be looked at before deciding whether having an obese child should be classed as abusive parenting.

My view is that opportunity and circumstances have a lot to do with it. If you are reasonably well educated, your parents taught you how to cook, you have a car to get to the supermarket to have a wide choice of foods, you can afford healthy foods and have access to a park, a safe place for your children to play etc then I struggle to have sympathy for any parent who has an obese child.

However, if you live in a flat, there are no safe places to play, you don't have enough money for a car so do most of your shopping in the local shop which sells ready meals and chips, can't afford to take the kids swimming etc, was never taught to cook, you have to work full time it don't have any childcare so your child has to come and sit at work with you for hours on end, well I think we then have to ask whether social inequalities play a part and whose responsibility obesity becomes. Obesity is more prevalent in the lower socio economic classes and as we know poverty is the nation's biggest killer.

I know I'm hugely stereotyping here but just wanted to make the point that it's much easier for some to keep their kids healthy than others.

And I disagree that education is the key, as voiced by other posters. It runs so much deeper than this.

I live in an area with one of the biggest housing estates in the UK. The people who live in flats take their children to the parks. If they don't have a car, they'll use the buses. If they don't want to do that, they'll order their shopping online, like many other parents. If they weren't taught to cook, they'll log onto the internet and teach themselves.

I think it's mightily insulting to assume that people who live in poverty, don't necessarily do these things for their children.

Poverty in my borough is rife and yet the parents who want to see their child get nutritious food and enough exercise, absolutely do so.

Others don't and those are the people who need to start stepping up to the mark, without a ton of excuses.

It also begs the question of how far we go with this. What about the child who is normal weight but parents feed them the most appalling diet? I know children like this. Their health will still be at risk. Do we put them in the same category?

Yes, not bothering to feed your children properly and see they get enough exercise, is neglect. It doesn't matter whether that neglect has made them too fat or too thin.

As a PP said, if you know you're causing your child health problems or that your behaviour is very likely to, that is at least neglect or at worst abuse.

Although as someone else pointed out, child neglect and child abuse are the same thing.

But worra I wasn't making the point that children who live in poverty don't do these things for their children, just that it may be more difficult and this may be worth considering in the whole debate. I'm not trying to goad, this is a genuine question, but why do you think that obesity is more prevalent in the lower socio economic classes?

Education can counter other factors though cloud. Empowering people with the knowledge to counter the potential barriers to healthy eating is key.

It unfortunately is one of the few tools at our disposal and one the government has been trying to instil.

To change requires massive behavioural change and the main part of behavioural change models is the person realising something is wrong, being educated to move forward, and then utilising the knowledge.

In terms of advertising and cheap pricing of unhealthy food, it seems people want more regulatory action, but that can only do so much if people are not willing to make the initial behavioural change.

I'm not trying to goad, this is a genuine question, but why do you think that obesity is more prevalent in the lower socio economic classes?

I don't know but it's certainly not because people have no parks for their kids to play in, or no internet access or buses or supermarket deliveries or any of the other excuses that have been written on this thread.

Perhaps there's just more apathy? Or maybe if you live in an area where lots of adults and children are fat, you don't see yourself and your kids as fat in comparison?

It is because high fat and processed food is cheaper.

It is because high fat and processed food is cheaper

This has been disproved though.

Convenience is the problem. We now live in a world where we expect things to be quick and easy. We will buy the things that's quick and easy and these are usually the things that are processed, full of added sugar, preservatives etc. Why make a sauce from chopped toms, chopped onions and a few spices when you can buy a ready made jar. It's the same price... but the latter is full of sugar.

This has been disproved though.

Convenience is the problem. We now live in a world where we expect things to be quick and easy. We will buy the things that's quick and easy and these are usually the things that are processed, full of added sugar, preservatives etc. Why make a sauce from chopped toms, chopped onions and a few spices when you can buy a ready made jar. It's the same price... but the latter is full of sugar.*

Well no not really.

If I wanted to give my child chicken nuggets and chips for example, I could do homemade nuggets which is what £3 for the chicken? Another £2 at least for potatoes

Or I could go to aldi and pick up a bag of nuggets for £1 and some chips for around a £1 too.

So there I've already saved £3

Rainingin that's so true, often the families that go for the dippers/fish fingers or whatever as regular meals have lower incomes and therefore buy what they think will go the furthest/ feed more. For the people that say a bag of oats is cheaper than the sugary cereals or an apple is cheaper than a choc bar ect, there are habits that are not picked up on or skills not taught through generations. I'm fortunate that I grew up with my mother shoeing me how to shop and cook healthy food, provide me with a truly balanced diet and encouraged physical exercise. Instead of overdoing fractions or going too far into the numeracy that won't matter to alot of kids, we could, instead be teaching proper budgeting skills along side weekly cookery lessons that could brake the chain .

That's because you're looking for direct alternatives instead of different choices altogether. Your child doesn't have to have chicken nuggets.

That's like saying instead of buying a packet of crisps I'll use potatoes to make my own.

But even something like spagetthi bolognese.
Unless you already have tomato purée and herbs in the cupboard it's cheaper to buy it ready made

Yes but buying those herbs initially (65p a tub?) will mean you can get many meals. You might have to fork out a few quid initially but long term it is much cheaper and much healthier. I now have all my herbs stocked up. Then all I need to do is buy a tin of chopped tomatoes for 22p on my weekly shop.

This is where people need the education otherwise excuses are just made. Again it's convenience.

We seem to have lost our way to think both frugally and healthily.