Is having overweight kids child abuse?

[Mummyme1987]

A friend posted on Fb that parents with fat kids are child abusers. Except for kids with medical problems. It started with comments on how it's awful that there's a generous fit section in clothes shops. I'm shocked that people think this. I think the majority of parents don't just feed their kids crap, and some kids are bigger than others, and unless it is a very extreme case it's not child abuse. Thoughts?

You could argue "abuse" in the technical sense as abuse covers neglect - if you've neglected to feed your child correctly then I suppose it could be termed abuse. Or if you've continued to feed them crap when they're massively overweight...

I don't think many parents out there do it in an abusive way though. And some kids can't be stopped! I used to sneak into the kitchen - definitely not my parents fault!

I agree about the children's menu's. I know in France and other European countries they don't do 'children's menu's' they just do smaller portions of the adult meals. Seems to work well for them.

That said we went to a Harvester the other day and whilst they have the typical 'fish goujons' stuff on their kids menu they have a selection of other more healthier choices too - grilled chicken breast, salmon etc. Shame all restaurants aren't the same.

She's at a dance class. My DD eats crisps and often goes to McDs as a treat at weekend too. But she is slim. Is that therefore OK?

So what if she's at a dance class? Does that mean it's OK to have fat kids as long as they do a one hour class a week?

My kids eat shit too, sometimes. They're currently eating chocolate before breakfast

But I regulate that with plenty of good, healthy stuff for most of the time. If you have a kid that's fat you're probably not doing that.

And no, a slim kid that eats shit all the time is no better than a fat one. You just can't tell as outwardly so the parents probably escape a lot of judgement that parents of fat kids get.

My child doesn't "eat shit all the time" thanks.

I don't think many parents out there do it in an abusive way though. And some kids can't be stopped! I used to sneak into the kitchen - definitely not my parents fault!

I totally agree. I am not saying all or even most parents of over weight kids are abusive. And sometimes there is only so much you can do.

But I do think, in some cases, it's neglect. Which is abuse.

I didn't say they did Fanjo

WorraLiberty
I'm simply pointing out that calling abuse by it's proper name, does often help to wake people up to accepted behaviour.

So you list forms of abuse including rape and assault, you then say that you are clearly not making comparisons to childhood obesity as a form of abuse, followed by I'm simply pointing out that calling abuse by it's proper name, does often help to wake people up to accepted behaviour. So you would like to call childhood obesity (or some cases of it) abuse, but a lesser form of abuse than e.g. rape and assault? And your response to my question of the practical merits of labelling (some) cases of childhood obesity abuse is essentially to use it as sort of blaming/shaming/shocking tool. Rarely an effective strategy when it comes to weightloss - it's an unpleasant approach to which most people do not respond well.

sailawaywithme
I also think the exercise issue is something of a red herring and by far the more critical factor is calorie consumption.

You've said you live in the US. In relation to the UK, there are plenty of people who would disagree with your statement e.g.:

The rise in obesity has been primarily caused by a decline in physical activity at home and in the workplace, not an increase in sugar, fat or calorie consumption.

www.iea.org.uk/publications/research/the-fat-lie

Helena
The ice cream van was eventually stopped from coming into the school but not for the health of the kids.......but because the school was fed up with litter all over their grounds.

That is funny/ironic. Litter used to be a much talked about issue - all those Keep Britain Tidy campaigns.

So some forms of abuse shouldn't be called abuse in case it upsets the person responsible?

The word "abuse" is used to describe so many thing, emotional abuse in particular is used by some very frequently. therefore I am not surprised with the suggestion obesity is abuse. I would probably go so far as to say that and obese child is worse than much that is described as emotional abuse - although I would not call it abuse.

It's a shame this argument is being sidetracked by one word

At times it will be anise because it will be down to sever neglect

The education thing is a cop out. Yes there is lots of hidden sugar in food where it is not expected but not when you are making you own food and many foods like beans have low sugar/salt options. Why can't people take an hour or so to educate themselves why do we constantly excuse lazy parenting

I agree the as clearly an obese child is not a good thing, the word "abuse" is the issue which was raised in the original post and I would dispute that

How could you dispute that when a parent makes no effort to feed their children anything healthy and they live off a diet of take always, pizza, crisps, sweets and fizzy drinks

There is likely to be other neglectful signs too

Some children wouldn't become overweight but they would still be unhealthy and its bound to showing other ways

Lazy parenting is neglectful and we excuse it far too often and being neglectful can be a form of abuse

Being neglectful is a form of abuse.

Rightly so people are scared of hearing the word abuse. It carries a heavy meaning. Deliberately not taking care of your child's health and not providing them with the best food possible in their early years, not only sets them up with bad habits for when they are older but can have a seriously detrimental impact on health and emotional well being. This is neglectful and by definition this is abuse. Being ignorant to the facts can no longer be an excuse. Food shopping on a budget is no longer and excuse, it's just lazy parenting.

Obviously as a child gets older and buys there own food you have less control so can only hope they have learnt enough to make the right choices. I work in early years so can only speak from experience and I am astounded at the lengths some parents go to to deny they are to blame for their 6yr old bursting out of an age 10 school shirt

I am amazed at how often some children seem to eat sweets. When I was young (late 70's/80's) - we had them once a week on a Sunday. It isn't a treat if you have something every day. Also, wtf is this about parents taking sweets/something to eat for their children at school pick-up time. Surely they'll be having dinner in an hour or two?

Enthusiasm
Why can't people take an hour or so to educate themselves why do we constantly excuse lazy parenting

Regardless of parental input at home, secondary socialisation and the influence of environmental factors mean that you cannot micromanage your children's diet away from home. Like overweight adults, overweight children might know the theories about eating well and exercising. Putting them into practice might be another matter altogether.

Also, wtf is this about parents taking sweets/something to eat for their children at school pick-up time. Surely they'll be having dinner in an hour or two?

I often wonder this tbh

if the school meals are so. inadequate that they need something at the gates then why pay for them.

and why take something that's free just because it's free when it's costing you more in other ways- having to feed more food at home to make up the deficit and providing snacks.

what's the point

the people who don't need to have them that is . who can afford to provide a packed lunch.

I think my mum did abuse me with food, she was actually a qualified chef so was not ignorant about food
I wasn't fat as a child, god knows
how! During the holiday she would send me to the shop on my like with a list of sweets, crisps and fizzy drinks for her, along with ' get something for yourself)
Bakers van used to come round every weekend and I would get a sponge snowball a packet of crisps and a quenchy cup drink, I also had a sweet waiting for me every day after school
I remember putting my food down when I had kids as I caught her rubbing strawberry jam on my three month old ds gums

I don't buy all this 'lack of education, parents don't know' either. An apple is good. A mcdonalds is shit. A side salad has less calories than chips. A monkey could tell you that.

That's harsh, but I sort of agree with it.
As someone pointed out, there has never been so much information about healthy eating and how to prepare and cook healthy, decent meals. The education is out there for the taking.

Everybody (even the poorly educated) must by now, know the difference between a mcdonalds and an apple.

Like overweight adults, overweight children might know the theories about eating well and exercising. Putting them into practice might be another matter altogether.

in which case it's not down to education

I think a lot of parents also think that their childrens activity levels means they can afford to eat more. I don't think they realise that many activities burn relatively few calories compared to what they then think they can put in

Greys I agree. there is far to much emphasis on exercise and not enough on diet. And I say that as someone who is a complete running/exercise addict

pretty much all leisure centres where swimming or gymnastics or whatever may be held either have vending machines or canteens serving crap.

so 30 or 60 mins of exercise then leads to " well it's late let's grav some chips here fire yea save having to cook when we get home"

it people hit the drive thru etc

so alot of the work.is undone really.

I wrote to my council leisure centre to say the vending machines selling chocolate, icecreams and fizzy drinks were not in line with the aims of the centre, I.e. to promote public health. They now have vending machines with water and decent sandwiches. I think anyone who is genuinely concerned about these things should speak up. It takes 5 mins to send an email and if plenty of people did, things could change.

The thing is, a lot of people lack the most basic of exercise like regular walking for example.

Suggest some people leave their car at home and walk 30 minutes to work, and they'll stare at you in actual genuine disbelief. "But it's half an hour's walk!"

Yes, not far at all