Is having overweight kids child abuse?

[Mummyme1987]

A friend posted on Fb that parents with fat kids are child abusers. Except for kids with medical problems. It started with comments on how it's awful that there's a generous fit section in clothes shops. I'm shocked that people think this. I think the majority of parents don't just feed their kids crap, and some kids are bigger than others, and unless it is a very extreme case it's not child abuse. Thoughts?

And don't get me wrong, I work 13-16 hour shifts so I myself get pulled into the convenience thing. But what whilst getting convenience we are forfeiting health.

And since not all children from lower income homes are obese, they're managing aren't they? How are they doing it if it's too expensive?

This is the wrong way of thinking about it though.

'Well no not really.

If I wanted to give my child chicken nuggets and chips for example, I could do homemade nuggets which is what £3 for the chicken? Another £2 at least for potatoes

Or I could go to aldi and pick up a bag of nuggets for £1 and some chips for around a £1 too.

So there I've already saved £3'

If you brought the fresh chicken and fresh spuds not only would you know exactly what was going in your child's body, I.e no salt or crappy additives, you would also be able to get more meals out of the raw ingredients. It's a false economy to buy packaged foods. I buy my meat from the butcher and I get so much more for my money, in both quality and quantity.

So worra I do agree that there may be lots of other reasons why obesity is more prevalent in lower socioeconomic classes but to ignore the social infrastructure of the UK as being a possible contributory factor is naive. It also allows us to lay blame conveniently at the door of the individual rather than making it a collective issue. I also agree With grays regarding the role that the food industry plays in the whole mess. My point I suppose is that this we have to take personal responsibility for the choices we make as parents but it's not black and white. We are not all on an even playing field and trying to understand the reasons why obesity is such a huge problem is not going to be helped by shouting 'child abuse' at the parents of obese children. It will solve nothing.

Grays, maybe those kids were fortunate enough to have had the skills passed down to them or not had drug/alcohol abusers as parents. There are of course some parents who do not better but choose to carry on regardless and I know a few of them, so with those types it's like banging your head against a brick wall but there are truly people out there just don't know where to start or how and want to feed their families healthier. It's mostly again, down to education.

VoteforPedro- that's a good point well made, and I agree to make a sweeping statement and say all parents with fat children are abusers, is wrong. For me, working in childcare, the biggest mistake the bloody Tories made was the shutting down of all the sure start centres. It was those places that could help the children and families you mention. Now they are gone and the families that need the most support have no one to go to.

Whether they've had them 'passed down' or not, you learn it. I was brought up on jam butties and chips and egg, on a council estate, low income family. But it's not difficult to see that that isn't healthy. Our upbringing plays an integral role in our development obviously but there has to be some individual responsibility here. When it comes to feeding your child I don't think 'I've never been taught any better' can be an excuse. Like worra said we now live in a world in which information is at our fingertips, we are in the best position to educate and change ourselves for the better.

BUT that comes back to the behavioural change model: people must WANT to change.

I agree Jean SureStart centres played such a big part of so many peoples lives, it was a blessing for so many people.

Yep :( I helped run a cooking course at my local one, it was really well received and great for me and the other volunteer, but we lost funding after that one course :(

Eating healthy is not more expensive. We could afford to live on ready meals. They aren't that filling and more food is usually craved inbetween.

Yep it's hard work and may mean going to two supermarkets or a supermarket and the. An actual market. But that's what we need to do.

that's a good point well made, and I agree to make a sweeping statement and say all parents with fat children are abusers, is wrong.

I am pretty sure everyone on this thread would agree. Not all parents of over weight children are abusers. some are. Having an obese child can't be down to neglect. Not always. But can be.

Miaow

coming in late sorry.

Absolutely fantastic post.

^But even something like spagetthi bolognese.
Unless you already have tomato purée and herbs in the cupboard it's cheaper to buy it ready made^

Herbs and tomato purée aren't expensive (50p for purée and as little as 25p for value brand mixed herbs) and you can often get more than one meal out of them unlike ready meals.

Ready meals are a false economy.

Frozen mince is really good value, you can buy frozen onions too also good value and takes 20 min to cook

Herbs very cheap to buy so are tinned tomatoes

usually give up halfway through and turn it into chilli which I bloody rock at making

I still do that now. Halfway through I think oh fuck it and make a chilli instead.

It's all trial and error isn't it. I'm late 20's and started cooking at 21, after living on my own from being 17 and living off noodles and crap.

When my kids ask what's for dinner, I normally reply "Wishful thinking with rice"

Small people do on the whole 'graze' or eat little and often....it's how they're built. The problem is what they eat. Nutritious, healthy food in small quantities at regular intervals is fine....nutritionally empty processed junk food isn't.

The amount of sugar in things like cereal marketed to kids always horrified me.

My dad used to say snot balls and turd pie

Shit with sugar on

I don't think it's down to money either. There's undoubt a group who are fixated on convenience foods, and the poorer of that group will buy chips and nuggets instead of ready prepared salad and a cooked chicken. But I don't think that's the full story. When I was skint, then like most of the skint people I know, you do a lot of cooking from scratch and bulking up meals with potatoes, veg, pasta etc, that leave you full till the next meal. Not pizzas with chocolate bars and crisps inbetween meals. When dd was little I was often too broke to buy much fruit, salad, fish, good meat etc. So I'd buy enough for dd and do without myself, cos that's what you do as a parent. I just got my calorific fill from cheaper food. At no point did it cross my mind to just buy a multipack of crisps to share instead of fresh food.

Plus people who are truly in poverty don't tend to drive everywhere, they walk a lot.

I know parents who are very overweight themselves who have brought up their kids to be healthy, so I don't buy that as the full explanation.

The worst junk food eaters I know, who've raised dc the same are just lazy/ deluded. They aren't skint, or suffering from mh issues, or struggling with disability, or necessarily the biggest people I know. More 'I'm perfectly fine on my diet of shite, with my curvy female figure, therefore my kids are too. I never liked sport either and it did me no harm. Growing kids need a layer of fat for illness anyway'.

I agree with you Cloudhopping.

My 4 stone regain which ive lost over the last two and a half years was regained when DH and i were living on £40 a week after his heart attack. This had to include hospital parking for his regular rehab sessions, the weekly food bill and all his prescriptions.

" He, and I were seriously neglected children from a "good middle class home" haha with a mother who thought she could work and have children"
Errr what?

Children from the most deprived areas are twice as likely to be obese as those from the least deprived areas, at both start and end of primary

I assume we're not talking puppy fat here, this is an issue most kids grow through. Being overweight, whatever your age, poses a health risk and we need to TALK to our kids and grandkids about this issue so we can get them on board when we make life changing decisions.
It's not good to compare kids, it's not just the amount they eat and exercise it's also their metabolism - we're all different. They may think it unfair that they shouldn't eat as much as their siblings - but life isn't always fair.

barbarafyles
Being overweight, whatever your age, poses a health risk and we need to TALK to our kids and grandkids about this issue so we can get them on board when we make life changing decisions.

With the majority of adults in the UK reported to be overweight, does this compromise the effect of healthy eating messages to children? I think the poplulation stats for adults who are overweight and obese are further indications that this is a widespread, prevalent issue, with no benefit to be gained from blaming individuals or citing abuse. Let's have more solutions at a population level. (Given that we compare unfavourably to most other Europe countries on this issue, what are they doing differently that we could do better?)

fascile how can it be changed at a population level?

The information is available and pushed at every opportunity.

As a formally morbidly obese person, it comes down to you making the decisions each day.

Or as a parent making the decisions for your children. Obesity can not be fixed until people start taking responsibility for their own choice and the choices they make on behalf of their kids.

If you are feeding your kids crap, just for an easy life you are neglecting them. How can that be fixed at population level?