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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to take what I paid for from cheating partner without discussion

459 replies

Earworm · 25/03/2016 16:09

My partner recently told me that he didn't feel invested in our relationship. I suggested that I move out for a short period to give us both some headspace. I suspected there was someone else involved and asked him, but he denied it. I found FB messages and photos that had been sent to him from this girl, and he still denied it. 4 days after I left (at this point we hadn't actually split up) I found out that he had gone out with the girl and slept with her. We went to a counselling session and he said he was committed to working things out, but he refused to cut contact with her, so I moved out permanently. I've arranged to move into an unfurnished flat.

His flat was a shell when I moved in. I bought a whole new freestanding kitchen to replace the 2 cupboards he had, got the bathroom tiled, had a shower fitted and got new lights fitted. I replaced his broken bed frame, we sold his sofa (he got the money) and bought a new one which I 'm still paying for. I lifted all the laminate in the living room and carried it down 3 flights myself and replaced it with carpet.

He's gone away this weekend with this new girl and when he comes back, he'll have relatives with him to stay as they have a family funeral. I feel like a heartless bitch to go in and take the sofa, the bed frame and a couple of the kitchen units. He'll have an armchair to sit on and a mattress to sleep on. And he also owes me £1500 for a credit card.

OP posts:
PinkSnowAndStars · 25/03/2016 17:41

Ohhhh! And have the lot!

Skittlesss · 25/03/2016 17:41

Gosh I hope the OP isn't replying because she's at the flat taking all her stuff!

BlueCheeseandcrackers · 25/03/2016 17:41

I'd take it all (even the carpet) 😂 !!

shitwithsugaron · 25/03/2016 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Summerlovinf · 25/03/2016 17:46

Take what you like, receipts or not - the police won't get involved in this kind of thing. Mind, you'll have to sell a lot of 2nd hand furniture to make up your £1500...don't get much for things on Gumtree.

CaveMum · 25/03/2016 17:47

YANBU.

Prawns tucked inside sofa cushions or sewn into the curtain lining are an effective parting gift in my opinion Wink

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/03/2016 17:48

Take what's yours but don't be spiteful - he's really not worth losing your dignity/the moral high ground over.

AuntMabel · 25/03/2016 17:49

YANBU. Get in there and get back what's yours wipe the toilet bowl clean with all of his towels too.

WellErrr · 25/03/2016 17:53

Aye take the lot.

crabbiearses · 25/03/2016 17:54

she has key though and he's not asked for it back yet so its presumed consent to enter and get her belongings.

emwithme · 25/03/2016 18:03

Take the lot.

But then again, I am the person who, when leaving one ex, took half of everything. The left half. I had fun with a chainsaw and took the left half of each chair, the left half of the sofa, the left half of the bed and mattress, the left half of the wardrobe and chest of drawers, the left half of the microwave...you get the idea. Straight into a van, straight to the tip, straight out of my life.

starry0ne · 25/03/2016 18:07

I did this to my EX H ..He had gone away for the weekend..However my ds developed croup so only ever really got one visit..

I did however take one DVD out of a series he owned and had OCD so I knew it would drive him insane..lol

StrictlyMumDancing · 25/03/2016 18:13

em love it Grin

Take everything you've bought, then leave a note and leave the keys. Good luck without him not that you'll need it

BolshierAryaStark · 25/03/2016 18:13

Yes take all that you paid for.
Also blend up milk & prawns, load it into one of those medicine syringe things you get with Calpol & squirt it into the armchair & mattress you're leaving behind...

aprilanne · 25/03/2016 18:15

phoenix reilsling i know op bought the kitchen but she put out the old one and you must leave fixtures there was a kitchen there when she moved in yes it may have been crap but you cannot leagaly take the replacement .if she bought the bath do you think she would be allowed just to rip it out .if he is angry he will call police then she would be in trouble .

nicenewdusters · 25/03/2016 18:15

emwithme - that must have felt brilliant ? I bet you looked like something out of a horror film whilst you were wielding the chainsaw !

I took the furniture donated by my ex's vile parents, and hacked it to bits
in the garden with a pick axe.

Take everything you bought OP.

DinosaursRoar · 25/03/2016 18:15

Take anything that's yours. And as you have been buying the food, that include all the herbs and spices, the food tins etc. Are the cooking utensils yours? The crockery?

Take the lot. It's yours.

fuzzywuzzy · 25/03/2016 18:18

As the ex did not object to having old kitchen bits thrown out presumably he agreed to replacing the kitchen.

She's not ripping out the kitchen, it's a free standing kitchen, so no damage caused as there would be if she ripped out a bath tub which would be plumbed in.

northernlostsoul · 25/03/2016 18:20

Take the remote controls and chargers for everything too. Remove batteries then sow seafood into the curtains.

BoatyMcBoat · 25/03/2016 18:21

Oh yes, take everything, nailed down or otherwise.

Wondering if you can take up the carpet.....

littleleftie · 25/03/2016 18:22

If it's a free standing kitchen then surely it is the same as taking a chest of drawers?

Arfarfanarf · 25/03/2016 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SouthWesterlyWinds · 25/03/2016 18:23

If the OP has paid her half of the mortgage, then I presume that she's paid up and therefore can have access until the the end of the month....?

fluffywol · 25/03/2016 18:25

You lot really are evil, a proper nest of MN vipers... and I agree with all most of it Grin

littleleftie · 25/03/2016 18:27

God OP - you really should have brought some of us with you!!