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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to take what I paid for from cheating partner without discussion

459 replies

Earworm · 25/03/2016 16:09

My partner recently told me that he didn't feel invested in our relationship. I suggested that I move out for a short period to give us both some headspace. I suspected there was someone else involved and asked him, but he denied it. I found FB messages and photos that had been sent to him from this girl, and he still denied it. 4 days after I left (at this point we hadn't actually split up) I found out that he had gone out with the girl and slept with her. We went to a counselling session and he said he was committed to working things out, but he refused to cut contact with her, so I moved out permanently. I've arranged to move into an unfurnished flat.

His flat was a shell when I moved in. I bought a whole new freestanding kitchen to replace the 2 cupboards he had, got the bathroom tiled, had a shower fitted and got new lights fitted. I replaced his broken bed frame, we sold his sofa (he got the money) and bought a new one which I 'm still paying for. I lifted all the laminate in the living room and carried it down 3 flights myself and replaced it with carpet.

He's gone away this weekend with this new girl and when he comes back, he'll have relatives with him to stay as they have a family funeral. I feel like a heartless bitch to go in and take the sofa, the bed frame and a couple of the kitchen units. He'll have an armchair to sit on and a mattress to sleep on. And he also owes me £1500 for a credit card.

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 25/03/2016 19:03

Take the batteries out of everything and the bulb out the fridge.

Empty freezer and store cupboards.

Take fuses out of plugs.

Pp idea to remove remote controls and chargers is inspired!

Free cycle anything you don't want.

springscoming · 25/03/2016 19:03

Prawny curtains are too obvious. You need to wedge some in less obvious places like under or behind the wardrobe, mashed on to the bottom of underwear drawers etc. Dig around under the corners of carpets where they meet the skirting board etc.

springscoming · 25/03/2016 19:04

Oh and definitely spill milk under any heavy furniture.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 25/03/2016 19:04

Take all the hangers out the wardrobes but leave his clothes.

Take the washing powder

CakeNinja · 25/03/2016 19:04

Op Come back this evening and tell us how comfy that sofa feels!
Hope you had some help. Wine

ample · 25/03/2016 19:05

I would take it all - batteries to remotes, toilet paper, light bulbs, the lot.
Remove all traces of you, after all he is moving on with another girl. I reckon that would be, at the very least, the decent thing to do Grin

Good luck

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 25/03/2016 19:06

Rip the last page out of all the books. Or if you can't quite bring yourself to hurt a book, swap all the dust jackets round.

Tip out Use up all his fancy toiletries. Use his aftershave to clean the loo.

Take all the pillow case but leave the duvets.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 25/03/2016 19:08

Replace washing powder with table salt

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 25/03/2016 19:09

If there's any bleach in the flat, squirting a bit into the holes in the washing machine drum could be fun. Be nice to leave it nice and clean Grin

springscoming · 25/03/2016 19:15

Or if there's bleach and a paintbrush why not give his duvet cover a restyle and paint COCKLODGER WARNING on it, let it dry then fold it up nicely and put it away. I expect he'll have the new gf skivvying for him in no time so it would only be fair to give her a sisterly heads up next time she makes the bed.

AcrossthePond55 · 25/03/2016 19:19

Well this is defo going on the watch list.

OP, do it. Take everything you've paid for. But no vandalism, no damage, leave no trace. As much as it would be lovely fun to booby-trap the whole flat you don't want to go from 'removing MY possessions' to criminal damage. He'll be pissed off enough as it is.

Since I can't be with you in the flesh, know that I'm with you in spirit!!!

girlinacoma · 25/03/2016 19:21

And plant cress seeds in the new carpets, water well and leave the heating on.

Ratbagcatbag · 25/03/2016 19:23

Take everything that's yours. Text him after its done.

You could squirt washing up liquid into the washing machine ready for next time he uses it.

girlinacoma · 25/03/2016 19:23

I'm sure his new girlfriend will want to put her stamp all over the new place anyway, so best to strip the lot out. You'll be doing them a favour!

SquinkiesRule · 25/03/2016 19:26

Holy heck I'm place marking here. Good luck OP I doubt he's changed the locks, he thinks he's golden.

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 25/03/2016 19:28

I'd be tempted to leave a note just so he knows he hasn't been burgled Wink

Something along the lines of:

"So long and thanks for all the fish"

PainAuChocolat23 · 25/03/2016 19:32

Im actually poorless reading this thread im surprised my ds hasnt woke up. GrinGrinGrin at the wifi password and sewing prawns in furniture

DirtyHarrietOnABike · 25/03/2016 19:34

Get all YOUR stuff. Get £1,500 of his valuables, pawn them to get your money back and send him the receipts.

My ex went to work one day and came back to a completely stripped flat in the evening. Everything that was mine was gone. Even the huge 80 litre electric boiler!

LadyOrangutan · 25/03/2016 19:36

I hope the lack of response from the OP is because she is busy loading a rental van with her stuff !

wowfudge · 25/03/2016 19:43

Funny as it may all sound, I'd just take what I'd pay for and do not if the vindictive stuff. Keep the moral high ground.

JolseBaby · 25/03/2016 19:45

Agree with Wow. I would remove everything that was mine, but I wouldn't do the prawns or cress etc., routine. Tempting as it is, it just gives him a 'psycho ex' story. Better to walk away in silence and with dignity intact. It will hurt at the moment but you will look back on this and thank your lucky stars for the escape!

mixedfruitlyf · 25/03/2016 19:47

When my mum left my dad she stripped the house bare. It was in his name but he fucked off and then came back 7 years later to reclaim his house.
The light bulbs were taken out, carpets taken away, the decking in the garden taken up (all of which she paid for)

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 25/03/2016 19:49

Love the annoying stuff - defo take the
fuse from the TV plug.

Bathroom light bulb

Love the washing up liquid in the drum

Smelly under ware - his in the bed

Phone charger

Box set CD - just the one

GoofyIsACow · 25/03/2016 19:50

Oof im tempted to come and help you clear the bastard out!

wannabestressfree · 25/03/2016 19:50

I agree just take your stuff though..no acts of revenge. The moral high ground is the way forward!