To think a teenage girl sharing a room with a 6 year old boy isn't fair?

[lightsnotchanging]

AIBU to think this isn't really fair? Or is it?

A 15 year old girl in one of the richest nations in the world should grow up with the freedom of her own space, however small, to develop into a woman with privacy.

Why does a woman deserve privacy, but not men? Or boys that are developing into men?

You do realise that living in a rich nation doesn't make you Rich.

Are you suggesting you shouldn't have children any more unless you can afford to get them their own room?

There's a leap from 'own room' to 'no room' though. There are five children; a six bedroom house isn't realistic but as things stand there are two unhappy teenage girls.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Do people really get so wound up about their relative sleeping arrangements?

A 15 year old girl in one of the richest nations in the world should grow up with the freedom of her own space, however small, to develop into a woman with privacy.

This is so ridiculous it's laughable.

Unless they are your kids then it really is non of your business.

How do you know the teenage girl isn't happy?

How do you know the kids weren't given a choice and his was the decision they made?

Sounds very much like you are interfering in things that have sod all to do with you

Different, do you think everyone who posts a thread on here is wound up?

I wouldn't describe myself as wound up, but I do think things are wrong as they stand. But I think all sorts of things are wrong without being wound up or angry about it. Don't you? Or do you get really wound up every time someone does something you disagree with?

That must be exhausting. I'm sorry. Maybe you should look into that.

Apparently so different.

A 15 year old girl in one of the richest nations in the world should grow up with the freedom of her own space, however small, to develop into a woman with privacy

Hands down one of the wankiest thing I've ever read.

When people start a thread in AIBU they are generally a bit wound up about something.

Social housing have rules for bedroom sharing with age differences but it wouldn't apply here. Boys on one room, girls in another then when eldest is home she bunks in with her sister. Very odd to me.

I would disagree Sparkling.

I think some people would like them to be wound up, because then they can start an argument, but really lots of us are just asking for opinions.

Otherwise there would be lots of arguments which is best avoided, don't you think?

I'm basically referring to wanking/sexual development, which is something men can do pretty simply stood up in the shower or bathroom, but women usually prefer to lay down to do. A 6 year old younger brother in the room is probably a mood killer.

Why is sexual development and freedom not considered a vital part of growing up?

In fairness, that might be difficult sharing a room full stop :)

I just do feel a bit for the girls. I couldn't go home during university holidays and was made unwelcome before that, not cause of room sharing but because of a stepmother so I sympathise with how they feel.

No I don't think that at all OP. AIBU is never a good place to ask for proper advice.

I am not sure you can do anything about your particular situation however much advice anyone gives though.

Well, maybe you should go and post elsewhere and give proper advice and respect my right to post where I choose without lecturing me about it, Sparkling?

lightsnotchanging I think that the dd still at home is unreasonable to think that she would get a room to herself, in a three bed house that houses at least 6, and sometimes 7 people.

And the dd who has left is unreasonable to think that her room would be kept as is in a three bed house that houses at least 6, sometimes 7 people, because she happens to sometimes pop home during holidays from Uni.

If this was 2 adults/2 children in a three bed, not so unreasonable. But this is a good lesson for those girls to be less selfish. They aren't the only ones with needs.

Different, I don't think she wants a room to herself, and nor does the DD who moved out. I think they are both feeling a bit shoved out. But thank you for replying nicely to my post in the spirit that it was intended :)

Sparklingbrook I can't get wound up about where my dc sleep, let alone other people's kids...

My 11 year old DD shares a very large bedroom with her brother , age 6. Try as I might I cannot get them to have separate rooms, they both end up in tears at the thought of it. Our relatives seem puzzled and concerned.

I have 3 dc. Dd1 aged 15yo, dd2 aged 12yo and ds aged 8yo. Sometime like holidays 2 have to share. We give them the choice and more often than not te two who choose to share are dd1 and ds.

If this was me:
Two teen boys to carry on sharing, biggest room
Teen girl on her own, smallest room
6yo in with parents, second biggest room, and his own corner of the living room for his stuff (or if there is a dining room or similar convert that to an extra bedroom).
Teen at university can sleep on sofa in living room (and should grow up and get over herself tbh)

"I agree with you op, the parents have been pretty selfish to continue having children with no forethought for the future. "

I don't entirely disagree with you there- and I absolutely include my own conception choices in that. Plenty of us have had more children thinking that they'll be fine sharing with mum/dad or older siblings for the time being, but without considering the stresses of housing older teens and adults in that same small space.

But they have had five children between them. The deed is done. But my earlier point re; why should the entire household be re-arranged to suit the second DD still stands?

There are unlikely to be any winners on the bedroom front when you have 6/7 people in a three-bed. That is just life.

lightsnotchanging I'm not wound up about anything, I just think you are over invested in a problem that isn't yours. Right now, my eldest would tell that it isn't fair that she has to tidy her room, and can't have her ds until it is done. My youngest would tell you that it isn't fair because I will not give her a whole strip of blue tak to play with.

Kids can't have life their own way all the time. If the only problem these girls currently have is that they have to share/sleep on a sofa occasionally, I'd say they don't have too much to worry about.

I don't think a downstairs room should be used for sleeping in a three bed house with 7 people in it! They need all the space they can get & using a downstairs room means that LIVING (as apposed to sleeping) room will then be limited. Which would be madness!

So you are projecting your own feelings onto this? Maybe wound up isn't the right word...over-invested?

Shoved out? How do they think their brother of 6 feels? Being moved from room to room as soon as a spot becomes vacant.

We have three children in a room. Three girls in one room, one boy in another. We may change it to two and two at some point. I don't think having to share with her six year old brother is the end of the world tbh. Maybe not her favourite thing but hardly earth shattering.

Possibly, but I've never been a 6 year old boy in that position but have been a teenage girl in a similarish position so I guess it's natural I'll see things from that point of view.

Just to reiterate though, the girls don't have an issue with sharing with each other, but DD2 doesn't want to share a bedroom with DS3 (and, I daresay, DS3 isn't thrilled either!)

Thanks for your thoughts.