To think a teenage girl sharing a room with a 6 year old boy isn't fair?

[lightsnotchanging]

AIBU to think this isn't really fair? Or is it?

[Sparklingbrook]

It's quite early for me

[lightsnotchanging]

That's nice.

[MajesticSeaFlapFlap]

Of course the parents should rush out and buy a bigger house immediately.

Or in the real world they could do the best they can with what they got.
And it's really NOT your business

[SaucyJack]

Is there a good reason why you feel the entire family's sleeping arrangements should "better managed" to suit one single member of the household?

[CantWaitForWarmWeather]

Is there a good reason why you feel the entire family's sleeping arrangements should "better managed" to suit one single member of the household?

I was thinking exactly the same. Squishing 3 children together in one room to suit one person doesn't seem very fair either.

[lightsnotchanging]

It's not one single member though, is it?

At present, there are two teenage boys sharing and that's absolutely fine.

There's an older teenage girl who has to sleep on the sofa during holidays from university or go elsewhere. Then there's a teenage girl sharing with a six year old boy. Given the ages of the kids, I feel it would be a lot nicer for them if DD1 had somewhere to sleep when she comes home and DD2 doesn't have to share with a primary school aged boy, so that's why I would either have the three boys in together and then DD2 in the smallest room with bunk beds or (this is how I personally would go about it) have one of the downstairs rooms for me and partner to sleep in, give the oldest two their own rooms and then the two younger boys share the biggest room.

I just think out of the alternatives, this one is probably the worst?

[RustyRobot]

But presumably the other two boys are older than the six year old. So it is more appropriate for her to share with the youngest. What were the arrangements when the older girl was at home? Both girls in one room and all 3 boys in together, now move youngest into girl's room to give the three boys more space?

[BeaufortBelle]

Perhaps they are saving up for a loft conversion? If you are so concerned could you have the teenager move in with you? The six year old may have been unplanned and they have made the best of it.

It may turn out to be a very good life lesson for the teenager.

[lightsnotchanging]

I think it was, Rusty, yes. Fair enough if people feel three in a room/utilising a downstairs room is a no-no; I was just honestly a bit surprised as it does seem a bit rough on the girls.

[lightsnotchanging]

Beaufort, they aren't and that's why I'm asking.

[RustyRobot]

Is it more the case that the younger Dd was expecting to have the 'girl's room' all to herself when her older sister went to Uni, just sharing in the holidays and has now found that her little brother has been moved in and she's feeling rather aggrieved about it?

[CantWaitForWarmWeather]

I actually feel more sorry for the little 6 year old sharing with much older siblings.

[RustyRobot]

I wouldn't be happy at the idea of one sleeping on the sofa, would probably personally do it so 6 year old with youngest sister during term and move him back into the boys room when oldest is home.

[Sirzy]

How big are the bedrooms though? Space wise trying to put 3 children into a room in most 3 bed houses would probably be very crowded and less than ideal in itself.

d

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Why it worse for a young boy than a teenage girl can't wait?!

Personally, whether the relative complains about it to you or not, as it's not your home OP it really isn't any of your business and you should tell her that she should talk to her parents about it if she is unhappy.

[LittleRedSparke]

what did the parents say when you suggested this to them?

[TheOddity]

We have this exact situation in our family (are you my relative?!) and it actually has resulted in other family members taking in the older two girls. I would be ashamed that it had come to that if I were their mother. They'd be better asking the older children to propose their preferred solution between them. The three older children are to an ex, so they are literally feeling pushed out

[CantWaitForWarmWeather]

Because he's just plonked in one of the bedrooms. I doubt it would be any better for him to be in with 2 teenage boys either. He probably feels like he doesn't actually belong anywhere.
Does he have his toys in there? Is the room decorated just for a teenage girl?
Is he only allowed in there when it's bed time? I bet his friends aren't allowed in there when they come round.
He probably feels like he's intruding all the time.

[MrsLindor]

Three in a bedroom is potentially unhealthy unless it's a large and well ventilated room.

[BeaufortBelle]

I think when there are seven people in a family home, 8 in the holidays, the importance of downstairs space shouldn't be underestimated.

What are the ages of all the children because this may ease in a year or two naturally.

It doesn't sound great but they are where they are and have a lot of children. Their bills must be ginormous just for day to day living. I bet the patents are frazzled enough.

[Youarentkiddingme]

is there somewhere for the 6yo to have his toys and play?
Somewhere quiet the teen girl can go and do her homework/space to hang out with mates?

As long as there is space for them both to lead the inevitable seperate lives they will I don't see the issue with sleeping in the same room.

[winewolfhowls]

I think I would be very offended if I saw that my relative had posted this when I was trying my best for the kids. I'm sure it's hard work enough.

If the kids are fed and loved and don't know any different then so what.

[Bluelilies]

I think the arrangements they have are probably exactly what I would do with those ages/sexes of children in a 3 bed house.

When DSD (18) has been asked to share with one of her siblings her youngest brother has often been her choice. No reason a six year old boy or really any less appropriate than a six year old girl to share with.

Was the girl previously sharing with her older sister who's now left home? If so I'd guess she's probably upset because she'd been expecting to get a room to herself but hasn't. But 3 in a room is really crowded, I can see why parents might have decided it's fairer to do two and two.

[curren]

Maybe they don't want to, but she doesn't want to share her room with her brother but she has to.

Maybe they don't want to. I wouldn't.

Again, the dd may not be happy. But do you know what. It's kind of tough. I don't know anyone who was entirely happy with all the decisions their parents made.

When you are a family living under one roof, everyone has to be considered and if this is the best they can do it. That's enough.

[MardyGrave]

I agree with you op, the parents have been pretty selfish to continue having children with no forethought for the future.

A 15 year old girl in one of the richest nations in the world should grow up with the freedom of her own space, however small, to develop into a woman with privacy.