Am I incredibly odd? N/C on marriage

[Toonoisy]

I married dh last year, I decided to keep my own name. My reasons were, I have a son who shares my name. I really like my name, it's me. I didn't want to be Mrs Hisname because to me that's his mum. I also feel as though the assumption that the woman will change her name is a bit of a feminist issue.

I don't want to be Mrs Myname either so I'm Ms Myname.

Dh was very upset about it despite always knowing how I felt. He thinks I'm mad but he's given up mentioning it.

Now I've found that the times I've had to give our names for anything it totally baffles people.

It's happened a couple of times where it's been quite important to acknowledge we're married. A mortgage application and me ringing the hospital when he ended up in a&e.

It's seems to completely confuse people, they say you're not married, I say that we are, so they ask are we Mr and Mrs Hisname, I say no were Mr Hisname and Ms Myname, we are married, I have kept my name.

I think because DC2 is a girl I just decided I'd like us to share a name. I contemplated taking my DH name but just couldn't drop my own. It's weird because I never contemplated it as an issue with DS but for some reason... ??

The way to share a last name with your DC is to give them yours - so if you don't change your name they get your name. Fwiw - my last name at birth is one of those talked about earlier - with an origin in the female worker eg Webster is the female form of Webber. Both were weavers. So somewhere in my family history our last name was acquired by a woman and passed down the line. I kept that name and have passed it onto my daughters. I was married for over 20yrs and never ever used Hisname.

Obviously some men have used my last name over the years, despite it being the feminine version - my dbro and ddad didn't seem too bothered by that fact . I have simply restored the name to being passed down the female line.

I wasn't going to change my name when we got married. But Dh said it was important to him.

He wasn't going to wear a wedding ring. But it was important to me.

I changed my name, he wears a ring.

I have to wonder why, when folk ask a women they don't say "What title do you prefer to use" or "What's your title?" instead of the usual "Mrs or Miss?" Erm, Dr, actually, or Ms is also fine.

And then, when we arrive at the appointment, whoever we're meeting will invariably stick their hand out to DH with a cheery "Pleased to meet you Dr Falfurrias!"

I've been married 15 years (own surname kept) and never once had a cold caller ask for Mrs DHsurname, it's just my friends and relatives that do it.

All cold callers when I answer call me MrsHisName I always say sorry, no one of that name here.

It's because I assume the utilities bills are in his name- if they were in mine and he answered he'd be called "MrMyName"

Which she was probably given by her father Teatime?

It's like hitting your head against a brick wall. How many times does this have to be explained. Why is it only a woman's name given by her father but her husband 's name is his?

Until I was married, at the ripe old age of 40, I used "Miss". Partly because I was keen for available men to know I wasn't married .

I have a professional career but actually few people use titles at all in professional correspondence (for men or women) so I wasn't actually "Miss" very often at work. It was mostly ticking boxes on forms I suppose.

Upon marriage I kept my own name but changed to Ms as "Miss" clearly denotes single so is now incorrect. So I have done the opposite of what the "Ms is for divorcees" brigade would consider correct.

I can only imagine you live somewhere a bit provincial OP? What you have done would not raise an eyebrow in a city I don't think.

That's true catsrus we discussed calling the DC my name but I opted for his because he has two children from a previous marriage and I wanted them all to have the same name

Lass - we have some utility bills in each of our names, but cold callers always ask for the person whose name is on the bill, so either Ms Myname or Mr Hisname.

I have been married 27years. I never took my husband's name. It has never been a problem. I compromise on occasions; at childrens' schools I was often called Mrs (surname of child/same as husbands), which I understood made it simpler for teachers in remembering parents' surnames. I only ever give my surname (never my husband's) and WonderingAspie I have always used the title MS , as direct opposite to Mr (whose title never reveals marital status) - my marital status is irrelevant to who I am as an individual.
I never understood why anyone felt obliged to change their name, I am proud of my own family name. It doesn't make you anymore married to change your name to your husband's. My children? As small children they were never confused by the fact that I had a different surname, I was "Mummy" and that is all that mattered. As adults, they too are proud of being individuals and recognise families are more than surnames.