name shortening at nursery

[AntiHop]

Please tell me if I am being PFB about this.

My dd is 18 months and has been at nursery from 9 months. When she started we told the nursery what shortening of her name we use (there are a few options). After a while I noticed that some nursery staff were using a different shortening so I asked the key worker if they could use the specific shortening we use. But I have noticed that some staff continue to use that other shortening, including the room supervisor. It sounds quite different to the shortening we use. It's a bit like her being called Catherine, at home being called Cathy and at nursery being called Katy. So what they are calling her there really sounds a lot different to what we call her at home.

I don't want to come across as a crazy PFB parent but I want to say something again to the staff. My DP thinks there is no need to say anything.

AIBU?

My daughter's name like mine is hyphenated however my darling cherub also has a double-barrel surname so I am anticipating lots of variations to her name.
That said - I am absolutely the worst offender to calling her things other than her name these include lilibubs, bubbles, Princess, little Chick and loads more. She answers to them all and if you ask her her name she will tell you her full, formal long name. She is 2 and a half.

This is why I called my dd Eve!
Yanbu because at 18 months she needs to hear the name she's used to. Later it will be up to her.

As a teacher l think you anbu. We don't get to call a child anything we want. This is especially true of such a little one as it's part of her identify. It's totally unprofessional and not on. Correct them again.

This is why I called my dd Eve!

Sorry but
Eve
Eva
Evie

Evie is her nn at home so that's fine. She's had 'Eva* at toddler group before but it's not so far different that I think she'd be confused!

Completely agree! My name is Jacqueline, I'm in my (young) fifties now. There were several 'Jacqueline's' in my primary class and our names were shortened to aid the teacher. No discussion, it was the sixties. For as long as I can remember people continually and automatically shortened my name. Even now I have to correct people. It pisses me off! Stand your ground and as far as the world and their mother calling her whatever variation as she grows, it will be her decision, in time, as to what she prefers and requests. In the meantime, you are her voice and if you want A and B and not C, say so! If you don't, who will and how will she stand up for what choice she wants if mum didn't have the confidence to. Good luck x

Mmm, my dd's grandparents made up a shortened version of her name and used it. I wasn't impressed at first, but I got over it. That version is only ever heard in their house and comes from a place of love.

My name's a one syllable name and people who choose to call me by an affectionate nickname usually lengthen it That's ok because I can say whether I like it or not to do it. A very young child should be known either by their given name, or the short form that the parents decide.

I'd speak to Nursery. It's not a PFB thing at all.

When the child goes to school though, you have to relax and go with the flow andthankyourluckystarswhentheawfulNNfinallygetsdropped

YABU!

Totally wrong. It's not her name. She needs to learn her name and it won't help if the staff are telling her the wrong thing. A misunderstanding at first. Make it very clear then move if it happens again.

You could always point out to the nursery that a part of the eyfs is that children should be called by their correct names or the name given by their parents, and that it should not be shortened or changed by practitioners!! I work in a nursery. You definitely anbu!!

My son is called William, all his friends and even teachers call him Will, its thats what my son is happy with, who gives a stuff.

YANBU! Please do update us tomorrow once you've spoken with the nursery.

Until your DD is able to decide how she wishes to be known, of course this right falls to you - particularly in a formal setting such as nursery. And I completely disagree with the posters saying it's impossible to control. Of course it is! I myself was known by a shortened version of my name throughout school. No-one ever tried to force me to use my full name, or indeed an alternative abbreviation. I wouldn't have responded if they had.

I am equally fastidious about spelling of names and abbreviations. Spelling variations of the shortened version I use don't feel like my name at all. Names are integral to our identity and to consistently misspell them shows a total lack of respect.

YANBU to ask the nursery to use the name that you provide.

But I'm pretty sure that your DD will be able to cope easily with two 'different' names - we have a DS with the same nursery ages etc as your OP and they use the standard shortening of his name at nursery (fine with us) and we use our own unusual shortening of his name at home (like a pet name)....he has no difficulty responding to both.

shazzarooney99 it's fine for my dd's name to be shortened. But not to a version that is completely different to the one we've asked them to use. When she's older she can decide for herself.

Atenco I think that's a completely different situation. Like you said it's only her grandparents you use it. That's different from my dd being called a different name by some staff at nursery.

Because I think you are trying to control something over which you ultimately have no control

This is bollocks. She's 18 months old, you decide her name for now. And the people you are paying (a lot) to take care of her can call her whatever you bloody well tell them to.
Later on, when she is older, she can decide for herself. For now though, you tell them what to call her, they do what you say.

I came on to agree with EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard (wow! What a user name. You're making up for your lack of syllables with that one!!!!). But where I differ from Enrique is, even though I don't like the lengthening of my name (think Bet becoming Betty), because it takes more effort to use the lengthened version, I take it as a compliment, and assume anyone who does it likes me. And that is nice.

Also, people who want to be close to you DO give you pet names - friends, lovers, family members. It's not about disrespecting a parent's choice of a name, it's about saying to the individual "I like you and I'm callign you this to signal our connection".

BluePancakes, I'm very, very curious (and may even PM you). Why did you want to choose Jossiah as a name but it be ok because you had two girls?????
That made NO sense to me. What did you call your son and how did it help having two daughters (presumably at least 10 months after you named your son), except that I assume none of them is called or known by "Joe"??????

BestZebbie that's reassuring to hear, thanks.

Is there another child with your preferred shortening in the group?
My ds's nursery room has a big Nate /Nathaniel / Nathan issue at the moment. If Nathan wanted to be Nate it would be confusing with the existing Nate and both would need their surname initial added to everything which is something I hated as a child (common name so middle initial added, imagine something like "Sarah J")

FatMomma99

Josiah is a boys name. When I was pregnant I didn't know whether I was having a boy or a girl, so had to have boys and girls names ready. Because I don't like Joe as a shortening, we did not choose Josiah as the boys name. As it was, I don't have a son, but two girls, so my choice of boys name didn't come into it.

Apologies for not replying to your PM. It doesn't seem to want to send my reply for some reason?

museumum no, no other children with same or similar names.

Nursery should try to remember to use your chosen shortening, but as long as they are calling her something that is short for her name and not a different name altogether it is more affectionate than disrespectful, will inevitably happen when she is older, and will not confuse her unless she has underlying speech and language difficulties.

By 18 months old typically developing kids don't need to learn their name, as some are saying, because they already know it and respond to it even if they are not yet producing it.

If a child is called Isobel (or any other spelling or variation) and you call her Bell and Isobel, and nursery staff call her Izzy and Isobel, it is incredibly unlikely she will be remotely confused about who she is - just as she is not confused if you additionally sometimes call her Sweetie or Honey or Baby, or Love or Sunshine, or all of those or any other random endearment.

I would politely remind them to call her Bell (or whatever) because it is under your control atm while she is so very young (and accept that you relinquish control once her world widens and she can express her own preferences) but only "complain" if they are calling her Jane or Lucy and appear to have her mixed up with another child or to have re-named her completely :o

My daughter has a one syllable name, think Tia, so it is impossible for them to call her anything else really, but I think YANBU if it sounds totally different she might get confused. My DD does have LOTS of nicknames though that me and other family members have given her, but at nursery etc it would be hard for them to get it wrong.

Tia has two syllables, Chinks. I'm assuming we should think something else?

I am a CM and on my all about me forms that I fill out at the start of childcare commencing I specifically ask if there are any other names the child/parents like to go by and that's what I use.

It isn't end of the world, leave that setting immediately type situation, but it would annoy me. I would ask just once more, please don't use that shortening, we use this name __ at home. They need to follow your lead on this and not ignore you, it will get too confusing for your DD.