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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Morning sickness and DH going to the rugby.

158 replies

mangocoveredlamb · 19/03/2016 11:25

Every year DH and his mates go to the pub to watch the final of the six nations. He's leaving in ten mins and won't be home till midnight. And, despite me asking him to, he refused to ask the others to consider changing the venue to nearby so he could come home to do bedtime. He'll be a two hour train journey away. In his defence he has said he won't drink.

I'm 7 week pregnant and suffering from very severe sickness, on meds that aren't touching it.

We have a very active two year old.
MIL is useless so would be more hinderence than help and my parents are hosting a party.

AIBU to think that this year he shouldn't go?

OP posts:
Tiredemma · 19/03/2016 11:27

Is he generally out boozing with his mates most weekends?

If not then I think I would be letting him go. Why is MIL useless? surely she can help with putting a 2 year old to bed?

mrssmith79 · 19/03/2016 11:30

YABU.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot · 19/03/2016 11:30

Is it just the Six Nations final day that he does this? A once a year tradition with his mates?

If that, yes of course he should go.

If he's out on the lash a lot, then you need to sit him down and talk about responsibilities and priorities. But I wouldn't do that for a long-established event that is only once a year.

cardibach · 19/03/2016 11:30

Six nations doesn't have a final
I agree with Tiredemma - unless there's loads of information you aren't giving nobody who has raised a baby (as your MiL clearly has) can be incapable of putting a two year old to bed.
Sorry about the morning sickness, though. That sucks.

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 19/03/2016 11:31

YABU.

I wouldn't stop my husband partaking in a yearly event because I had morning sickness. Coming from someone who spent the first 6 months of her pregnancy horizontal with a sick bowl at her side.

WorraLiberty · 19/03/2016 11:33

What does doing bedtime involve?

If it involves a bath, let your child skip it and try to make tonight as easy as possible.

However, I wouldn't write off your MIL helping.

QuiteLikely5 · 19/03/2016 11:33

I think yabu. Let him go and enjoy himself, why can't he drink just because you having morning sickness? Confused

IndridCold · 19/03/2016 11:33

Sorry you are feeling crap, but YABU.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 19/03/2016 11:34

surely MIL can come sit and minister to the two year old?..dvd, toast, more toast, bath and bed

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 19/03/2016 11:34

Yanbu, severe morning sickness is horrific and he needs to be there when he can. It's only short term.

If you had food poisoning would it be ok for him to leave you with a toddler while he goes drinking?

You're ill. The fact that it's caused by pregnancy doesn't make it trivial.

mangocoveredlamb · 19/03/2016 11:34

No, he's brilliant, plays golf once a month and the odd weeknight event, so I'm very lucky.

MIL has never changed a nappy as she's worried she might put it on too tight and DD 's legs will fall off (honestly) and won't go upstairs with her in case DD slips. So she would just be watching me do it, and it'll be easier not to have her here.

I know I'm being U really I'm just dreading the thought of keeping DD entertained and fed all afternoon while being and feeling really sick.

OP posts:
curren · 19/03/2016 11:34

It's a difficult one.

I had to look after my dd while I have very bad morning sickness. While dh was travelling. Literally laid in the sofa all day. Odd day of that doesn't hurt imo.

If it's only occasionally I would let him go and be fine with it.

Maybe I am not getting why no one can help you?

But it's ok me saying this, because I don't know how ill you are. My attitude in pregnancy was that dh shouldn't miss out just because I felt piss poor all the time.

GlacindaTheTroll · 19/03/2016 11:35

"MIL has never changed a nappy "

I'm fascinated now.

Was DH raised by wolves?

BumWad · 19/03/2016 11:35

Yes I'm sorry you're feeling like crap but I do think YABU

oneoldmare · 19/03/2016 11:35

I think you are being a bit selfish. Get DH to do as much prep before he goes so a lunch and tea prepared for your 2 yr old and then let him go.

It sounds like this had been his 'thing' for years and to be honest your sickness won't feel any betterbecause he is home.

BastardGoDarkly · 19/03/2016 11:36

Yeah, I'd not stop him.

Just make everything as easy as possible for yourself, and reconsider mils crapness if it all gets too much.

mangocoveredlamb · 19/03/2016 11:37

If we didn't have DD obviously it would be fine for him to go.

OP posts:
Tiredemma · 19/03/2016 11:37

I have my two year old DD here with now. I dont have morning sickness but I have worked a night shift and not been to bed yet- DP is out with DS1 (rugby incidently)

We are lay having a 'sofa' day. Im shattered and cant be arsed to do much so just going to have a very lazy day! I suggest you do the same!!

Arfarfanarf · 19/03/2016 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuburbanRhonda · 19/03/2016 11:37

Just thank your lucky stars your DH doesn't work abroad during the week, OP. One day a year? Unashamed luxury Grin

Trollicking · 19/03/2016 11:38

Really, really sorry but YABU - It's a bit crap but it's a one off.

Hope you feel ok. Morning sickness is horrible. Thanks

mangocoveredlamb · 19/03/2016 11:40

Obviously MIL changed his nappies, but never any of the grandchildren.
It's not her fault, she has huge anxiety.

DH being here wing help me feel better, but will stop me having to move which makes it worse.

OP posts:
Libitina · 19/03/2016 11:44

I'm so sorry that you are suffering, but yabu to not want him to go out. If he was at work, what would you do?

Take the easy option, snuggle on the sofa in front of the tv, picnic for tea and straight to bed.

mangocoveredlamb · 19/03/2016 11:45

I he was at work DD would be at the childminders!

OP posts:
mrssmith79 · 19/03/2016 11:45

Surely he's already left, OP? You said he was leaving in ten minutes, twenty minutes ago.