Morning sickness and DH going to the rugby.

[mangocoveredlamb]

Every year DH and his mates go to the pub to watch the final of the six nations. He's leaving in ten mins and won't be home till midnight. And, despite me asking him to, he refused to ask the others to consider changing the venue to nearby so he could come home to do bedtime. He'll be a two hour train journey away. In his defence he has said he won't drink.

I'm 7 week pregnant and suffering from very severe sickness, on meds that aren't touching it.

We have a very active two year old.
MIL is useless so would be more hinderence than help and my parents are hosting a party.

AIBU to think that this year he shouldn't go?

VelvetCushion,it is pretty clear you don't understand what severe morning sickness is. It isn't just a bit of heaving and feeling wobbly - it is massively, massively debilitating. Go and find out a little and stop eye-rolling at the OP.

So many sympathetic posters on here today.

op I'm heaving at the moment due to the smell of dinner cooking (I'm honestly not a bad cook) it's made me retreat back to couch.

it won't last long!

YABU to describe HG as morning sickness, it is not. HG is nothing like morning sickness it's a debilitating pregnancy related illness that already has mass misunderstanding.

YANBU to think that if you are to ill to effectively care for your child then that childs other parent should either do so or assist you with arranging appropreate effective care should they wish to absent themselves for what ever reason.

Are you on cyclazine? If so have a chat with your doc about switching as there are quite a few far more effective anti emotics availible

Some of you lot are being, frankly, cuntish.

I totally get why someone with severe morning sickness might like some help from the other parent of their child.

Glad you've got some help, OP. I find it sad though that it's still somehow come down to the women doing it all.

I know morning sickness is crap but there is nothing anyone can do to take it away

This is not true, women with HG who have effective preventive treatment combined with effective support at home have far better outcomes inc but not limited to fewer hospital admissions, fewer TOP's, fewer premature deliveries, fewer suicidal thoughts and attempts, fewer mental health issues as a result of HG and often earlier reduction of symptoms.

Woman without effective support are far more at risk of some of the most distressing and traumatic potential HG outcomes.

The op said she is worried about bedtime because it involves lifting into a cot which makes her heave plus pj struggle. For one flippin night!!!
Let me tell you something. My brother did a few tours of Afghan. His wife has 3 DC. Her last birth gave her prolapsed womb that was literally hanging out of her. He went off on tour and,she had to carry on with three little kids on her own with her womb virtually hanging out waiting for hosp appt. Husband away for months. She did that everyday, shopping, cleaning and lifting. Looking after 3 kids and one a newborn. So dont tell me the OP cant cope for one night doing a simple thing because she feels sick. OP how would you have liked to have been my SIL.
Kind if puts it into perspective doesnt it?

Sorry to be hard on the OP but some women need a reality check.

I'm really hoping you don't work in health care (or in fact any caring profession) Velvet.

Being sick does not affect your arms

Have you ever seen someone with HG especially when meds are not helping?

With one of my pregnancies I was leaning over the loo my entire body was heaving and nothing would stop it not even when everything that could come up had,
My arms gave way I smacked my face on the loo there I am on the floor my entire body uncontrollably shaking and the same time as heaving. I was struggling to see (and was before I hit my face) and by the time nursing staff found me on the floor I had quite painfully pissed myself and shat myself and was bleeding from my throat and I couldn't have even told you my name

Opinions will differ here depending on the posters personal experience of sickness / HG! I suffered horrendous sickness from 6 - 40 weeks with both dc, it was worse with dc2 as I had a lively toddler to cope with. I was hospitalised at 8 weeks and medicated for the whole pregnancy. My family were fantastic in helping look after me and dc 1 but it was very hard.
Op if you feel as bad as I felt then I totally understand how you are feeling, I would have wanted DH to stay home with me too. Hope you feel better soon.

Oh and 3 days later I was in a coma.

Velvet
I hope you never experience HG, you don't have a clue!

MrsNora
Isnt it awful my SIL had to go through that? That is what I care about. Someone really struggling like she did. Or is that wrong?

Ignore velvetcushion OP.

Well done to SIL doing all that with her womb hanging out but there is no need for your DH to have a jolly whist you feel like this.

Come on, toughen up and show him you can cope and do anything without him

Fuck that. He should have stepped up and showed you that you didn't have to cope because, you know, he puts that before rugby.

I totally get you on the pj struggle whilst sick.

Needsasock
That sounds horrific.
Im sure OP not in that state or she would not be updating on MN.

You have my utmost sympathy OP. When I had hyperemesis (and I'm assuming that's what you have too) and was 7 weeks pregnant o couldn't even look after myself let alone my 2yo (that's why I ended up in hospital I suppose). Is there no one else you can call/ask for help? Friends, anyone! for you

Of course it's not wrong to care for your SIL Velvet. But what I do think is wrong is to allow that to cause you to feel that other people's pain & distress is meaningless, because it doesn't measure up to what your SIL experienced. Used that way it creates a failure in empathy.

Final? In the Six Nations?

YABU for that statement.

Sorry. Probably inappropriate.

That sounds horrific
Im sure OP not in that state or she would not be updating on MN

3 hours before that happened I was sat in my office at work switching between actual work and a different forum.

I have had 3 equally horrific HG pregnancies since, all whilst being a fairly active mumsnetter.

The op clearly said bedtime routine and lifting into the cot is a trigger for her sickness. Yes it can and does effect arms.

You think a womb prolapse is worse than HG, try and show a little compasion towards someone who is experancing something you know very little about.

velvet

Does a women really have to be on her knees before other women can show empathy or sympathy?

Yes ignore velvet and her one upmanship..
Point is op doesn't have to drag her child to bed with either sickness or a prolapsed fanny. Good god.... mummy martyrs
He has gone and all is good. The only thing in your post that stuck out to me is the none drinking Part. Is he one of those who can't just have a couple....I was married to someone like that. No cut off..it was a ballache.

wannabe

Just keep thinking.....its ONLY one night. ONE night out of 9 months of pregnancy!

Where it's likely she could feel exactly the same level of ill or worse than she does now for the entire duration of that pregnancy and possibly up to a month afterwards.

Yabu. If you can take time out to post on here and not puke, you can look after your child haha