Mother's have it tough

[Zenab1]

Hello mothers, so I had an incident which left me humiliated and angry today. I went to Chatham House, a policy institution in central london to attend a talk that was happening there. When I get to the conference hall, I was told that I was not allowed to get in with my buggy in which my baby girl was peaceful sleeping. Their main excuse was, it's gonna block the way in case people need to evacuate for emergency. I said but this information is not communicated anywhere on your website and I even called to double check and the person I spoke to said you are mother friendly. Anyway, they insisted that I leave the building because they won't let me in. I got so emotional and told them that was unfair as I came from a long way and the whole thing seemed to me some kind of discrimination. They escorted me out and told me that I should complain if I like to by sending an email. I felt so humiliated and degraded. Do you think this was right ladies, it happening in this day and age and in one of the worlds developed countries, that a mum should be mistreated like this for simple being mum?

So should I be able to take my baby to bingo or a nightclub because if I cant it excludes me as an adult? Or should I just get the frig over myself and accept that actually, having children as a life choice does limit what you can do. If people don't like this why do they have children?

Or Sharon, there's a third way. You question what society permits & enables you to do as a mother with a dependent child and what it doesn't. And have a think about whose interests that's really serving.

Who do you think pick up the slack?

Not sure about you but in our family we share, that's including babysitting duties. We are both in a full-time job but still have our hobbies and interests. So I get my time off as does my DH and we organize the way around it.

Martina, that's fine when you're both full time working. What about mat leave which is more pertinent to the OP's situation?

For example, when I was on Mat leave, from mon-fri I had an absolute maximum of 1-2 hours without baby caring duties from Monday to Friday, due to DH working hours and lack of family support. I don't think that's particularly unusual, especially for London.

LaurieMarlow, I was on maternity leave, with my DH travelling frequently and no family support so I know the story. Life didn't end for me because I had to adjust to almost no time for myself. There was another person to take care about and it was my priority. Parenthood changes your life but missing out on few things you were used to from your cheerful childless existence is nothing and can be easily caught up on later on in life.

Laurie no, she didn't check specifically if it would be ok to bring a baby in a buggy.

All those saying a sleeping baby is fine in a lecture hall: babies do tend to wake up you know!

Also, I'm not sure if it was the Op posting earlier under a different name, but someone mentioned Tha their buggy folds down to laptop size. Is this really that difficult to accommodate?

if it was the op she never said and been posting as someone different (sock puppeting)

If she isn't the OP her buggy has no baring on the OP at all. Because the OP didn't want to take the baby out and never suggested taking the baby out. She started accusing them of discrimination, which it isn't.

In the OP she says

When I get to the conference hall, I was told that I was not allowed to get in with my buggy in which my baby girl was peaceful sleeping

They didn't say....your baby isn't allowed in. They said she wasn't allowed in with the buggy.

Martina, while our children are a priority for all of us, you don't suddenly change overnight into an entirely different person. Nothing works like that.

I went from having an intellectually stimulating job with lots of interesting cultural stuff going on in the background - to suddenly society expecting me to be able to shut that part of myself down completely. And while everyone's life changes when they have kids, Mums experience this to a far greater degree than Dads. And I found that transition incredibly hard.

wow ,op, mn is not in favour of mums taking their baby in a wheeled chair/buggy into a lecture! Hope you can find some gov access law that proves them all wrong.

Amarai - The legislation you are asking for is as described in the OP - fire regulations.

Hope you can find some gov access law that proves them all wrong.

Legislation that protects people with push chairs?

Seriously?

wow ,op, mn is not in favour of mums taking their baby in a wheeled chair/buggy into a lecture! Hope you can find some gov access law that proves them all wrong.

They aren't in a wheeled chair They were in a pushchair!

Stop saying they are the same thing. They aren't!

I think it's pretty clear that zen30 is, in fact, zenab1 but for whatever reason she changed username.

But since she's made three posts, and her baby regressed half it's life in the space of 16 minutes, I wouldn't hold much stock in what she's written in the OP anyway

Yes it is discrimination, and part of a growing culture of children only being welcome in spaces that are child-focused, and thus the marginalisation of children and the parents who care for them.

Unless an event is advertised as adult only then refusing to accommodate a sleeping baby in a buggy is unreasonable (and ageist if an adult wheelchair user could be accommodated)

Oh Ffs. Another post attempting to compare buggies and wheelchairs.

Unless an event is advertised as adult only then refusing to accommodate a sleeping baby in a buggy is unreasonable (and ageist if an adult wheelchair user could be accommodated)

Bollocks is it discrimination not to allow pushchairs in. If you can provide me with any legislation to the contrary I will happily admit to being wrong.

Exactly. No one has yet explained how buggies come under the Equality Act 2010.

Ageist?! Yes indeed, will someone fight for the babies right to go lectures which they'll not comprehend or join in with :)

I wish people would stop with the 'wheelchair is just another buggy' thing though. It just reinforces the idea that the disabled person in the wheelchair is not really a 'proper' independent adult with their own freedoms, rights and responsibilities.

Unless an event is advertised as adult only then refusing to accommodate a sleeping baby in a buggy is unreasonable (and ageist if an adult wheelchair user could be accommodated)

No it really isn't.

AND STOP COMPARING WHEELCHAIRS AND BUGGIES

Once and for all - the BABY was not turned away! It was the BUGGY that was not allowed in for safety reasons.

For the love of god. Babies very often come with buggies as a non buggy option is not practical for all.

In many cases, not accommodating buggies is pretty much a ban on babies and the mothers who care for them. And if mumsnet can't get its head around that then there's little hope for the rest of world.

And if Mumsnet can't get its head around the fact that, sometimes, safety regulations mean that bulky equipment cannot always be taken into places where there are large numbers of people and limited egress, then heaven help us all!

Is it just me that thinks that we risk losing such facilities altogether?

Don't be ridiculous. We can accommodate buggies in a safe way just as we can accommodate wheelchairs in a safe way. It will take planning and thought, but fuck me, we've put man on the moon, we can figure this out.

We just have to want to.