AIBU about my DP's sandwich making weirdness? This is serious shit.

[IdBuyThatForADollar]

My DP made me a BLT last week. I asked for mayo, so he put mayo on one slice of bread, then butter on the other.

I didn't want butter, and thought it was weird that he considered that an integral part of sandwich making. I politely pointed this out and he said he wouldn't put butter in my sandwiches again unless I specifically requested it.

So, the other day he made me another BLT. No butter. Just mayo. All good you say? NO! Because he only put the mayo on one slice of the bread. So I had one dry slice of bread on one side of my sandwich. I went to get the mayo to add to the dry bread (because WTF?) and he now claims I am massive sandwich fascist and there's no difference between having sauce on one slice of bread rather than both.

I think he's a massive freak. Plus he always slightly toasts his bread before sandwich making. Which makes my unbuttered/unsauced slice EVEN DRIER!

Please tell me there's no one else out there this odd?

Heinz Salad Cream.

I wouldn't blame you if you were thinking of leaving this sub-par sandwich-making fiend over this!
Gotta have a partner who is a top quality sandwich-maker, genious cup o'' tea maker and fresh coffee-maker an all that!
Tell him to keep improving the art !!But of course I'm sure he may have his own sandwich -making or other making requests for you too
.

Now while I heartily despise the use of butter in a BLT, I will quite happily butter a peanut butter sandwich. Let's call it a 'heart attack sandwich'. Delicious!

While we are on peanut butter sandwich combos (a pp very rightly suggested PB + choc spread) - does anyone go for PB plus marmite? A very fine sandwich filling.

There appear to be a few different issues at play here, namely:

1. Lack of precise specifications - if you want a specific sandwich, you should ask for exactly what you want (although there are a set of Socially Acceptable Sandwich Defaults*)

1. Unexpected Toasting - I'm sorry, but "lightly toasting the bread" is not something I would expect someone to do when making a sandwich. Someone has made a loaf of bread, for use in either a) sandwiches, b) toast or c) bread and butter pudding, a.k.a. "The Holy Grail". These are distinct and different things. The only cross-over is a toasted sandwich, which is specifically called "a toasted sandwich" because it is both a sandwich, and toasted.

1. Setting DP Up For Failure - once you have identified that DP doesn't make your sandwiches to your fascistic very specific standards, one might expect you would either make them yourself the next time round, or at least specify exactly what you want.

I would suggest writing some basic sandwich rules and guidelines (as you see them) on a piece of paper and fastening it to a fridge or, if you are prepared to invest the time and effort, repeating them quietly into DP's ear when he is asleep. A Venn diagram indicating the interaction between fillings, spreads and condiments may also be necessary.

I hope this helps.

*Socially Acceptable Sandwich Defaults (SASD) include:
a) A two slices of the same kind of bread, from the same loaf.
b) In the case of slices being a non-uniform shape, one slice must be flipped over to ensure the sandwich maintains maximum integrity
c) Butter (or the sandwich requester's preferred spread) will be applied to each piece of bread UNLESS otherwise specified
d) Baguettes, buns, flatbreads, wraps, bagels etc are NOT sandwiches

The only thing in a sandwich I find really offensive is crisps. WTF?

The thing I do that bewilders everyone is that in my burgers I like it with lots of lettuce: as thick as the meat ball. It's like eating a burger and a salad at the same time.Tis heavenly.

Buttering is compulsory unless it's a Nutella sandwich or a brown sauce sandwich. Then it's illegal
This!

Hmmmm, it sounds as if you're using mayo as a butter / spread replacement and not as an extra , you should specify this upfront to afford confusion.

• Is the only sensible reply. But, since we're not being entirely reasonable here, YABU (you are all being U). I can't stand mayonnaise. Well, actually I love it if I made it, but only my deceased best friend and I make it that way. So it's easier to say No Mayonnaise, Ever. It saves me from the bodily insult that is salad cream, and means I can't eat any bloody sandwich from any bloody shop.

BLT should have brown sauce or mustard on the side where the meat is. The other side should have mayonnaise or (if you're me) tomato purée. Butter's definitely superfluous!

Cheshire - helps foreigners like me decipher the British mind

Seriously, don't bother. We're incredibly laissez-faire about food, with about ten thousand exceptions which we will tell you don't matter but actually do!

Sausage, egg & bacon sandwich. Gift of the gods, and almost impossible to get right at home. You have to find the greasy spoon that does it perfectly, then practise assiduously to do it just the same, then ask yourself whether it's worth all that brain damage when you can buy one for under 3 quid

Qwebec I think you need to be more open minded here. Crisps can make or break a sandwich (depending on the time between assembly and consumption I do agree). It's all about the flavour, crunch and thickness.

Oh no it's a must to have even coverage on both slices of bread 🍞

The only time I really appreciate a bit of lettuce is in a nice, juicy sandwich so I think it definitely belongs in one. I like mayo too and am quite happy if it replaces the butter. I quite fancy toasting my bread a bit - might try that

A thin smear of butter on both sides of bread. If using mayo I only put that on once like any other filling stuff so for instance ham then tomato then lettuce then mayo with the bread buttered beforehand. To me mayo and butter serve completely different functions. Butter moistens the bread where as mayo is like using ketchup or brown sauce and is a filling and just goes on once on the top of other stuff.
If the mayonnaise is mixed with tuna or egg then I don't use butter as then it is doing a more lubricating role and is more homogeneous.

I love a buttered roll filled with crisps.

"I can't fathom why people butter with peanut butter - the clue is in the name. Otherwise it's double buttering."
How could it be "double" anything when peanut butter and butter are completely different things with no duplicate ingredients?

However, the fact that peanut butter has peanuts in it means that I don't eat it either with or without butter.

Anyway, butter (and absolutely nothing else) on a ham sandwich. Almost any other sandwich, in my opinion, is just a vehicle for getting the mayo into your face.

Sounds like you are particular and particular people are best making their own sandwiches

This! Either be grateful for the fact somebody's lovingly making your packed lunches, or make it your fecking self.
--Can you tell I make packed lunch for DH for work and if he complains it hasn't got enough butter on or the right ratio of mayo he's likely to get said sandwich shoved up his behind... *

I always think salad cream is sadly overlooked in sandwiches.

On the subject of bacon, other than a proper bacon sandwich, which is wonderful, I don't like cold bacon in sandwiches with salad items. Blt seems against the laws of physics to me.

Salad cream is a truly vile substance and should not be part of any sandwich you want anyone to actually eat.

It should also not be used as salad dressing and mixed though a salad composed of a bag of supermarket ready washed lettuce, some whole cherry tomatoes, chunks of cucumber (with all the watery inside chucked in too) and chunks of pickled beetroot. That disgusting, alarmingly pink and tangy combination is vile.

i refuse to eat sandwiches from Subway because they don;t have butter. DH and I have been together for 10 years and still even now will sometimes get each others' sandwiches wrong!

ElHirsuto I may print AND laminate your post for future harmony within our house.

And the watery inside of cucumber is utterly vile and shouldn't be used anywhere stepaway. Urgh.

I don't like butter on my sandwiches unless it's a jam one and mayo is yucky.

You do perhaps need some BBQ sauce...

I realize I'm in the minority

Sandwiches have butter on both pieces of bread unless specified otherwise.

Sauces are not a butter replacement.

Isn't this just a matter of choice and taste - there is no right or wrong way just what you prefer. I would have been grateful he made it for me.

If this is all you have to moan about you're very lucky!

Never had butter or spread myself on sandwiches, it just tastes like grease to me. I actually grew up liking dry bread and nothing has changed.

'It goes

Bread
Spread
Filling
Spread
Bread

YANBU.'

Chuckling at this. The hamwich!!