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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to ask how do you know you didn't want anymore children?

170 replies

2016ismyyear · 15/03/2016 22:35

We've been trying for 18mths for a final addition to our family. It has taken 2 years for DP to agree to try.

Last week I suddenly got a sense of feeling like I had made peace with the fact we are unlikely to have any more and started to imagine life without anymore children.

I saw a friends newborn baby today. Often a classic trigger for broodiness. Nothing!

How did you know you were done with having anymore children?

OP posts:

SupSlick · 19/03/2016 23:23

I was a bit out of it but a bloody long time. DS wasn't breathing when he was born so everybody ran in to help him & this midwife was stitching me up with my legs wide open with everyone running past so I wasn't paying too much attention to her.

She ended up doing too many stitches though as I've had loads of trouble since (was like Frankenstein down there) & had to have minor surgery twice since to correct it.

But SEVENTEEN. I'm sure there's not even room for that many. I'm embarrassed there was room for that many.

blueshoes · 19/03/2016 23:50

2 was always the minimum and maximum for me and dh, seeing that we embarked on the road of having children. As soon as ds (no.2) was born, I was flogging his baby stuff on eBay.

Dd and ds are 12 and 9 now and they get better and more interesting company every day. I recently saw a group of new mums having lunch with their babies in prams, occasionally getting up to wheel them around. I am sooooo glad I am never going to go back to that stage again.

I don't understand broodiness. Never had it. Been there, done that.

blueshoes · 19/03/2016 23:51

In addition, both my dcs were born by cs. Therefore, that limits the number of children I can safely pop out, which suits me just fine.

bakingaddict · 19/03/2016 23:56

When my second pregnancy took everything out of me both physically and mentally. I love my DD to bits but could never ever be pregnant again

waitingforsomething · 20/03/2016 00:44

Because I have gleefully sold all the baby things as DS has got older!
After I had DD i knew I wanted to do it again. After DS i knew I didn't and if I think about being pregnant I feel miserable at the idea.

2 children is right for DH and I and we heartily agree that our family is complete.

irretating · 20/03/2016 00:47

When I found out that DH and I were expecting a surprise 3rd. We don't regret having him at all, he completes our family. Before we hadn't really been sure if we wanted any more, but afterwards we knew, really really knew, we were done having babbies.

iwannadancewithsomebody · 20/03/2016 01:13

I had a spell of being broody for a third but I really don't want 3 boys. I love my two unconditionally but 3 boys sends shivers down my spine, I honestly don't think I could deal with it. I would absolutely love to have a daughter but I know it's not happening. Plus knowing my luck I'd have twin boys!

thinkingofayear · 20/03/2016 07:16

After dc5 I knew I was happy. I went to work full time etc, I had a mirena put in but after 2 years o was pregnant.

Dc6 was born, I love her can't imagine life without her but I have struggled a lot and my long standing problems with depression are now quite severe.

LatriceRoyale · 20/03/2016 07:23

A massive pph with both labours took the

Northernlurker · 20/03/2016 09:55

I was quite young when dd1 and dd2 were born (21 and 23). For a few years I felt that was enough but then, around the time dd2 was 4, I think I got very broody. I took it out on the bugaboo website mostly Talked to dh, pointed out paid mat leave was going up to 9 months in April 2007 and we thought that seemed like a plan Dd3 was born mid April 2007 Honestly it was like I'd had a switch flicked. I went from uber broody to DONE overnight and she is now nearly nine and I've never had a seconds fretting. I would be horrified and upset to be pregnant now. As well as very surprised as dh had the snip........
I never felt done like I do now between dd2 and dd3. I think if you're done you know and if you don't feel like that then your head can still shut that door very sensibly but it's harder.

pourmeanotherglass · 20/03/2016 10:14

We flirted with the idea of having a third, and tried for a couple of months, but nothing happened. Then a promotion came up at work, and I decided to go for that instead. We started having children quite late, so decided we were probably to old for another really.

ILoveTFIFriday · 20/03/2016 10:35

I wanted 4, settled for 2 (really wanted at least 3) but hubby said no so had to reluctantly accept and come to terms with the decision. Consequently have chosen a career where I'm in contact with lots of babies to fulfill my broodiness and have found it very difficult to part with the baby stuff.

Original poster

2016ismyyear · 25/04/2016 00:32

Mmm. Well that lasted long. After so long TTC and last month making peace with decision that no more babies for us I've now found out I'm pregnant!

OP posts:

Hirosleaftunnel · 25/04/2016 05:55

Congratulations!

SharingMichelle · 25/04/2016 06:15

Congrats 2016. It really is your year!

I still get broody around tiny babies, but I don't actually want another because logically another child would make things a bit too stretched for me, and for the older kids (I have 3). I'm looking forward to grandchildren!!

BertieBotts · 25/04/2016 06:33

Re the default theory, not for me! My default state is broody. Has been since I was 12. I didn't even start my periods until I was 15. I love being pregnant, love birth, love newborns and toddlers (agree pre walking babies are less fun). I don't know if I'll feel done or not. I'm not done now and I only have one.

Puppymouse · 25/04/2016 06:49

I think DH would have liked a second but my pregnancy took a major toll on my mobility and quality of life for a couple of years and after six months of hormones telling me I wanted to be pregnant again that stopped and I knew I was done.

Besides if I could have written to Father Christnas to ask for my baby, DD is what I would have described - she's fab

Fairylea · 25/04/2016 07:23

Congratulations!

I spent ten years thinking I was done after my first. Swore blindly I would never, ever have another. Ever. Then divorced and then met now dh and was suddenly more broody than I could ever imagine, I was never even broody with my first. Then had ds now aged 4.

Now I'm swearing never, ever, ever again....

Hmmm.

allowlsthinkalot · 25/04/2016 08:26

I have four dc. I still get broody but when I think about the reality it is a no, practically and financially.

I know I'm done because I've started looking forward to the next phase of life - children and young people rather than babies.

And because I'd I discovered I was pregnant today my first reaction wouldn't be pure joy.

crazywriter · 25/04/2016 09:14

My second is only 3 months but I know definitely she is my last. I hated pregnancy and this newborn stage. Before finding out we were pregnant with her wed actually decided we were going to stop trying because we didn't think it would happen and we're happy with the one (plus other reasons). Both mine have been sections too so I've said no more cutting me open.

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