Aibu to think people who rather a child stay in care than be adopted by gays

[Catvsworld]

Aibu to think people who would rather a child stay in foster care rather than be adopted by gays have real issues are there hatred of gays is more important than a child's well being

Following on from this idiot judge to was quite rightly removed for allowing his personal feeling on gay adoption rather than applying the law

Listing to the bbc London and so many people Felt a child was better off in care

As an adopter myself this is not a issue of gay vs straight couple it's a issue of gay vs a life in care with many moves

And tbh if straight parents were that fab the children wouldn't be in care all the children we fostered came from straight parents

I just wonder if these people could aculoy look a child in the face and say there is a gay couple who wants you but I think it best yu stay in care for your natrual born with a straight face

Also they don't factor in for some children who have been abused by say men two women would be ideal for that child ect

Bigotry is bigotry

What a silly comment. This is about gays not colour

So you're all for supporting people when expressing their offensive views on homosexuals but not race or colour. That tells me all I need to know about you.

At least Ebony has the backbone to express her views.

Well said Embroidery. You sound like someone with some common decency and sense. You also accept others have differing opinions whether you agree with them or find them offensive you have commented in a decent manner.
Others take note

As far as I can see, Velvet, it's only Ebony's posts that have been deleted.

Velvet, surely you understand the concept of analogy? And how interracial sex used to be regarded as deviant? Rather like Ebony's opinion of gay adopters, which seems to be based on a set of curious misunderstandings about nature?

EmbroideryQueen

*Rdoo the censorship vs freedom of speech debate is always a tricky one. Basically, yes to freedom of speech, up to a point. But clearly no one ever agrees on where the line should be drawn.

Petition to stop Trump entering the UK for example? UKIP being permitted to stand in elections? All these fall either side of the line depending on who you talk to.*

I tend to be willing to let bigots express their views and hang themselves.

Rdoo
Start another thread on the subject and I will happily debate. Re your bus 'thing'. I find that example ridiculous if im honest. What era are you living in

Velvet, we get it, you're happy to support someone spouting homophobic rubbish but not racist rubbish (at least we can be grateful for that I suppose).

What era am I living in? I'm wondering reading some of the posts on this thread!

The Sinking & Gibbous yes, I think the MNHQ censorship policies are basically pretty sensible for an anonymous internet forum. I think IRL in a comfortable situation with people we know the rules would be probably more lax, but I think on the whole MNHQ do a pretty good / sensible job.

Maryz I think I read every post?? I did not at the time interpret the use of deviant as deliberately trying to cause offence, because the rest of her language was non inflammatory. However I'm prepared to admit maybe that was an error in judgement? Also I've always thought I might be a bit Aspergers so decoding social stuff is probably not my strong point!

And honestly, out of all the opinions I may find myself needing to countenance in my life - vanilla or strawberry, Brexit or Bremain, whether Boris Johnson has stupider hair than Donald Trump - I really can't be bothered to rifle around the bottom of my heart looking for 'decency' to dole out to homophobes.

Three are some 'opinions' I can only find it in my heart to despise. Those tend to be the ones that other and discriminate against minorities.

I wish people would understand that freedom of speech does not mean you can post whatever you want on the internet nor say whatever you want in public. Try making jokes about explosives whilst going through passport control at Heathrow airport and see how far you get.

This is a website, owned by people who live in the UK. You have to abide by the law. The law says you can disagree with gay people adopting but cannot make derogatory comments about people based on their sexuality, race or gender etc. Ebony crossed the line.

Maryz
Stop picking the bones out of it. We have all established the deviant comment was wrong. Why keep going over and over it. Analysing all the comments

Velvet, I am just one of plenty on here who have been courteous to Ebony while disagreeing with her views.

I think it is completely possible to express disquiet with gay adoption without getting deleted. If Ebony had posted that she felt children need a male and a female parent, and that the social respectability this gives is particularly important for traumatised children, then many of us would have disagreed but I very much doubt her posts would have been deleted. Repeated use of derogatory terms like deviant is gratuitously offensive.

Oh, and the repeated references to a relative who combined promiscuous dykery with bad parenting, and the claim that this gives some special inside knowledge of this issue, is a bit galling.

The fact is that there are, as I indicated earlier, many people in mainstream society who are lovely, liberal people - and secretly harbour these views.

It's pointless pretending it doesn't exist. We are all so shocked at Ebony's posts and horror and homophobia and report and that's my son/daughter you're talking about.

And it's silly.

I've had some fucking vile things said to me on here over the years not bitter but there's a particular way of phrasing things that has to be followed. Had Ebony earnestly spoken of her acceptance of homosexuals but followed with a hasty caveat of concern for a child growing up without a mother/father usually the latter because a penis is necessary for the healthy mental state of a child there would have been nodding, dubious at first and then followed by intense head-shaking at the deviant gays.

As it is she went in too strong. She stated her opinion.

Can we say an opinion is wrong? Tricky one. I think we can all agree some opinions are so extreme that to voice them is just not acceptable. Arguably, this falls in that category.

But do you know something? I'd rather someone was honest about what they thought. Maybe I'm wrong but otherwise we just get the faux-shock 'Goodness me, why on earth would anybody have an issue with a gay couple adopting a child?'

Well, people do have a problem with it and let's face that and think about why.

Maybe you can't say the opinion is wrong but you can certainly say it's not evidence based

Because they're homophobic?

Agreed.

Devora, I'd rather, personally, someone was honest. I've had enough of the simpering 'I've no problem with GAY people of course, because my best friends sister is GAY but she had two beautiful children and I feel SO sad those lovely children will never know their daddy.' Sadface sadface.

Honestly I think 'deviant' is a welcome change myself!

Devora
I Think Ebony is from a non English culture.
I agree with your comment 100%

But do you know something? I'd rather someone was honest about what they thought. By temperament I'd agree with you. But actually I'm really pleased that most people know that they can think, but not say, that gays are deviant. Because I have children to protect, and I'd rather they didn't grow up hearing this stuff spouted around them. Preferring honesty is an adult privilege in this context.

Mycatslove
We needed you here earlier. You are spot on.

They are homophobic, yes.

And I'd rather someone was homophobic and owned it. Grudgingly, I respect someone standing by their convictions and not hiding behind the cloak of 'child will not have a penis male role model/child might be bullied/child might grow up to be physically bigger than his mums and beat them up' I shit you not

It's out there and it's honest It's bollocks, sure, but it's not bollocks clothed in Boden pretending to give you a middle class liberal smile when all along its nervously edging away from you.

This I can see, process and laugh at move on from.

But this site is for adults Devora.

Yes, children may peek over your shoulder but it's not a site for children and I don't think their tender eyes need protecting in this particular context.

I'd love it if I could create a world where children could be protected from bigoted views and from people's daft comments but I will say, out of the two 'my mummy says I can't play with you as your mummy is gay' and 'my mummy giggles in a funny way when I say your name' - you know, I prefer the former.

Homophobia is out there and it's in here. It just comes in voting Labour, shaking it's head self righteously at itself and it is shocked it still exists in the twenty first century. Homophobia on here can't see a reflection of itself. You could hold up a mirror to it and it would shake it's head and say 'no, that is not me, I am not homophobia!'

Deviant by comparison is actually quite funny refreshingly mad.