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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Makeup AIBU

112 replies

Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 17:22

My DD age 4 went to play at one of friends houses from nursery and when I went to pick her up had makeup all over her face, obviously not properly the children had done it themselves. Took me by surprise as I've never allowed her to do that before and didn't actually like it, AIBU? What age would you have allowed that?

OP posts:

OohMavis · 09/03/2016 17:26

It's just a bit of fun. It all wipes off, what's the harm?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/03/2016 17:27

What was the parent's explanation? Did she think it was 'cute' for them to raid her makeup? Why hadn't she cleaned it off? I don't think it's a suitable activity for 4 yr olds. I don't even like face painting that much at that age.

Original poster

Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 17:31

I totally get that it just wipes off and is just fun but I don't know, to me there something not quite right about looking at my little girl covered in lipstick, eye shadows and all sorts.

There didn't really seem to be any explanation, it's quite obviously something that she just allows her DD to do/play with, it wasn't her mums, it was in a box that had all play makeup in.

OP posts:

wigglesrock · 09/03/2016 17:35

My just turned 5 year old has a box of play makeup, she's had it since she was about 4. Honestly I really don't have a problem with it, she sees me use make up occasionally, her nana uses make up, one of her older sisters has a little.

Muskateersmummy · 09/03/2016 17:37

I have a nearly 4 year old dd, I'm with you OP. I don't like it. She was bought loads at Christmas and I have boxed it away for when she's a bit older. She has a little lip salve that I will help her with on special occasions but make up even for play at this age isn't something I'm happy with.

Osolea · 09/03/2016 17:39

Yours is a totally normal reaction, I'd probably feel the same, but there really isn't any harm in it. We get uncomfortable with it because as adult we see make up as something that people often wear to make themselves look attractive for men, or because we feel like we don't look good enough without it, and that's not something that seems right for small children to copy.

But in a five year olds head, it's just another type of role play, like pretending to be a doctor or dressing up as a character. Try not to attach something to it that isn't there, and you might feel better about it. As a play thing, I think it's fine at any age as long as it doesn't irritate skin.

Original poster

Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 17:59

That's the thing, i totally understand that it's innocent role play but I just think she's too young. I asked DH his opinion when he got home from work and he didn't like it even more than me! I think I just feel that there's so many other things to occupy kids with why use something that's associated with bein a grown up.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2016 18:05

At what age do you think innocent role play is appropriate then?

IME kids want to dress up and role play mostly from the age of about 3 to 8ish.

If you don't think it's appropriate at age 4, that doesn't leave her a particularly big time frame.

Do you or any of the grown up women in her life wear make up?

WorraLiberty · 09/03/2016 18:07

And also, dressing up as a...

Vet
Builder
Doctor
Nurse
Princess
Prince
Shopkeeper
Bus driver
Train driver
Etc....

They're all associated with being a grown up.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/03/2016 18:10

I agree with you OP. I think that it was quite inconsiderate of the parent to allow your daughter to come home in makeup without checking with you first. If nothing else, it gets everywhere!

Girls become aware of their appearance so early these days. It's not hard to give them something else to play with.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 09/03/2016 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJayy · 09/03/2016 18:28

I'd probably expect The mum to wash it off before she left the house but tbh I have no real issues with little girls playing with make up its just pretend but if you don't like it you don't like it I used to dress up in mum's dress es and handbags as a kid

RudeElf · 09/03/2016 18:30

Huh?

What is the issue? My ds was always stealing my make-up at that age and paint it all over his face. Theyre just playing.

WaitrosePigeon · 09/03/2016 18:31

When I get myself ready every morning my nearly 3 year old DD always gets a bit of lipgloss. She still has one head.

SlatternIsTrying · 09/03/2016 18:36

My DD (6) has been trying my make up on for quite a while now. I've started to buy her her own. She thinks it's fun and wears it as part of dress up. I'm not the slightest bit worried about it.

Birdsgottafly · 09/03/2016 18:38

Depends on whether you see make up as being linked to being sexually available or tantalising.

I think that you are going to be the biggest influence on your DDs attitude to many feminist and women's issues, speaking as a Mum of adult DDs.

I'd rather everyone stopped thinking of certain female dressing/make up etc of being linked to their sexuality and women weren't as sexualised as much as they are, regardless of their choices in how they present themselves and to what extent they personally groom themselves.

Women are beautiful and children as well, but there doesn't need to be connotations added to that.

ThisIsNotARealAvo · 09/03/2016 18:38

I let dd who is 6 play with makeup although she's not allowed out in it. I don't see the problem.

MrsJayy · 09/03/2016 18:39

Oh and blusher and poison perfume must have looked a state and stunk

Vintage45 · 09/03/2016 18:39

I have tried to understand where you're coming from OP but I really can't. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I'd find it funny.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/03/2016 18:40

The point is that if you think it's fine for your own child, then allow it/encourage it. I disagree with letting other children in your care apply make up if you don't know how their parent will feel about it or are aware of any allergies.

It's not the end of the world but it's about being sensitive to another parent when you are looking after their child.

MrsJayy · 09/03/2016 18:43

It was a play date that's like saying I was furious at her playing with barbies you let children play with things the friends play with

foxessocks · 09/03/2016 18:48

My issue would be more the fact that I have very sensitive skin and I think my dd does too although I've not used many different things on her skin so far so I don't know for sure. Anyway I wouldn't allow someone else's child to put play make up on at my house in case they had a reaction! And I'd be a bit cross if my dd had some on her.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 09/03/2016 18:50

I'd understand your outrage if she'd come home having been professionally made up by the other girls mum, or something, but she's just playing. I used to make my sisters over at 4. We'd then go play footballers or I'd teach them GCSE biology. It's just like any other type of dressing up for her. It's not like she's now going to decide that she can't go outside without lippy again.

GabiSolis · 09/03/2016 18:51

Tbh I think you're being a bit daft. It would bother me if she was being allowed to go out like that but just as silly play I really can't see the harm.

Original poster

Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 18:51

I think that children role playing to be vets, doctors, princesses etc is very different to doing it with make up as make up is only about altering your appearance, I think that is what bothers me about it, IMO 4 is just abit to young for that

OP posts:

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