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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Makeup AIBU

112 replies

Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 17:22

My DD age 4 went to play at one of friends houses from nursery and when I went to pick her up had makeup all over her face, obviously not properly the children had done it themselves. Took me by surprise as I've never allowed her to do that before and didn't actually like it, AIBU? What age would you have allowed that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 20:56

I suppose it's just something about seeing my little DD all made up like that made me feel like she's just too little, if it had been like just all over her face really silly I probably wouldn't have cared so much but the fact they actually applied it semi properly to me just wasn't nice. TBF I think the reason the mum didn't wash it off was because my DD was eager to show me.

OP posts:
Vintage45 · 09/03/2016 20:57

A little text beforehand Grin You have just now said she didn't do anything wrong. It is your issue then. It's ok to have issues, I have them too. I think cotton wool is the work of the devil but know that foible belongs to me.

Crazypetlady · 09/03/2016 20:58

YABU they were just messing about unless she came home with a contouring kit everything is fine.

Arpege · 09/03/2016 20:58

Oh bless though she sounds cute!

Honestly I think by making a "thing" of it you're more likely to make her think it's special and want it even more.

If you want her to grow up not needing to wear it then let her get it out of her system now in a fun and harmless way, which you can control.

Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 21:03

But i never once said it was her issue? I said it makes me feel uneasy. That wasn't me saying she'd done anything wrong was it?! That's exactly why I didn't say anything. I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking a text would have been good it's common courtesy when your talking about a small child and are unsure if they are allowed to do something.

OP posts:
JuxtapositionRecords · 09/03/2016 21:05

Op why have you posted if you are just going to argue back with everyone who says you are BU? If something made you feel uneasy regarding your child, that's fine. It's irrelevant what others think. I would just avoid your child going over there again if it concerns you this much.

Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 21:05

Exactly Arpege I didn't make a thing out of it in front of her, she thought she was the bees knees haha I just was abit shocked lol

OP posts:
Arpege · 09/03/2016 21:06

But your DD was all excited and desperate to show you and I've got this image of you as all cats bum mouth.

Let her enjoy it. It means absolutely nothing to her.

If she was 12 and going out with a face full of slap - then you can get mardy.

Arpege · 09/03/2016 21:07

Sorry X post

Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 21:07

I haven't argued back with everyone, there seems to be one or two people on here that have taken what I have said the wrong way and have totally missed my point. I was trying to gage what other people do NOT that I thought it was wrong for children to play makeup or talk about feminism and sexualising makeup!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 21:13

oh no I can do big smiley reaction on queue!! Haha no one had any idea

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 09/03/2016 21:14

a text would have been good it's common courtesy when your talking about a small child and are unsure if they are allowed to do something

Why would a parent be unsure about it? Most people have no issues with DCs putting on make up.

Vintage45 · 09/03/2016 21:15

Im still trying to understand you're shock

You could be with a man that equates make up to sluts
You could have hidden issues with men that think this

whats going on OP

GruntledOne · 09/03/2016 21:20

I think using the reasoning that they are just copying what we do, it's just role play etc is silly because nobody on here would be happy with their child for instance copying their language? Just because I do something doesn't mean I particularly want my 4 year old copying me.

That's irrational, with every respect. Just because I don't want my child copying me when I swear doesn't mean that I don't want her to copy me in other ways. After all, copying is how children learn language in the first place, and also how they learn good behaviour.

I also don't get the argument that it's too young. 3-4 is precisely the right age for children to be playing around with dressing up, doing different things with their hair, and playing around with make-up if they want to. By the age of 6 I would expect them to be moving away from this type of play and concentrating more on playing with each other, using swings and trampolines, doing constructive play and drawing, etc etc.

Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 21:23

Vintage45 what on earth are you going on about?! I think I've been pretty clear... I didn't like seeing my 4YO DD caked in makeup as I think it is unnesacary for a small child, that is it, no hidden agenda, no subliminal reason. I don't think anyone that wants to is wrong, it's just a difference in opinion. I started this thread because I wanted to know if more people though like me or the other mum as this is my first DD so have not had this situation before and felt like she was a bit young to be doing that. You are just searching and have been since you started on this thread.

OP posts:
BayLeaves · 09/03/2016 21:26

I suppose depending who's been using the makeup and where, might be a bit unhygienic, eye infections and all that...

Vintage45 · 09/03/2016 21:33

I was just trying to understand your PFB OP. It's weird.

saraah2354 · 09/03/2016 21:34

But if the mum had cleaned it off would you even know she'd been playing with it? Surely you'd be more annoyed then
Agree that make up has become viewed as something we do for men but there is theractrical make up and make up artists etc not just for men

Vintage45 · 09/03/2016 21:34

Calm down.

Chippednailvarnish · 09/03/2016 21:36

There is something quite disingenuous in how you are responding OP.
You posted, people replied. For an issue to be nothing more than finding another parents playdate activities inappropriate on age grounds, to wanting a text asking for permission, to claiming to be chilled out, to now being frankly arsey with Vintage is all a bit, well, odd.

Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 21:37

Actually Vintage45 she is not my first born, you obviously just cruise through posts looking for an argument. Near enough every other person on here has just given a helpful opinion on it whereas you are looking for an argument.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 09/03/2016 21:38

X post with Vintage

Vintage45 · 09/03/2016 21:39

Maybe I struck a cord there OP? Im no going to rise to your obvious un called for anger.

Original poster
Tryingtostayyoung · 09/03/2016 21:39

I was just asked if I have issues with men because I wanted to know what sort of age other people let their chileren play with makeup and then would wonder why I'm getting arsey?

OP posts:
Vintage45 · 09/03/2016 21:41

I have tried to understand, more than most.