Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be angry with DH for reporting my DB for benefit fraud

299 replies

ninja1890 · 08/03/2016 13:07

Help first time post as I need some perspective please. My DH has confessed to me that he has recently reported my DB for benefit fraud.

We have both suspected for some time that this is the case as he is a single father and seems to have alot of excess income. Think haircuts, tattoos, new clothes weekly nights out etc. He has never worked and has just booked a holiday and is saving to get married to his new partner - they don't currently live together.

We don't have any proof but DH reasons that if we suspect we should report. I can't help feeling angry that he has done this. If my DB isn't defrauding the system he has nothing to worry about but it will probably result in a suspension of benefit and worry. Also I am worried about the implications for my DN etc

OP posts:
InisSunset · 08/03/2016 21:56

Telling your DB will do no good except for causing a huge rift in your family.
If there's any rift in the family the blame lies entirely with the ops DH.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/03/2016 22:02

Sock, it's up to each individual to decide to make a fraud report based on their own judgement. People's judgement varies. It's up to said Professionals (as I was) to make an official ruling as to whether or not fraud has been committed. If you see a car going down the road driving weaving, you don't know if the person is intoxicated. What do you do? Ignore it and hope they aren't intoxicated and don't kill someone? Or call the police and let them make a professional judgement?

A better comparison would be "if you saw someone driving perfectly normally down the road and believed them to be taxed MOT'd and insured would you ignore it or would you report it as a potential drink driver".

Yes people's judgement varies of course it does,yes most people do not understand all the applicable rules.

But the only information she has given is that her brother has haircuts clothes and ink. No matter how much you squint and move the screen around there is no way anybody could have a legitimate belief of wrongdoing based on that.

And as a professional you ought to know that malicious allagations can utterly destroy households. I know ive seen it happen enough due to my own professional experance. Ive also seen enough actual convictions for fraud to know its a risk.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 08/03/2016 22:05

I don't think OP should have the job of telling her DB that her DB has stabbed him in the back. It wasn't her doing. If anyone is going to man up and tell him. It should be her DP. No one else. I feel heartily sorry for this poor man when he receives this notification.

Yseulte · 08/03/2016 22:09

In your opinion MrsdeV

In my opinion and in my experience, the tests we originally brought in to ensure that all the sick people claiming were actually ill. Prior to the tests, GPs simply repeatedly signed long term sick notes. The tests then got harder as successive governments tried to crack down on benefit fraud, and tried to get people off benefits altogether.

I have personal experience of the change in the tests and the culture at the DWP with regard to fraud. Have you ever claimed yourself?

The encouraging of people to report fraud was part of the crackdown.

The reason people are kicked of ESA and DLA is because the tests are harder and they are harder to ensure that a) only genuine claimants qualify, and b) as few as people can claim a possible.

kittybiscuits · 08/03/2016 22:13

Keep repeating the party line. And don't mention the suicides.

Yseulte · 08/03/2016 22:21

Is that addressed to me?

kittybiscuits · 08/03/2016 22:22

Yes

Alisvolatpropiis · 08/03/2016 22:24

I see the thread has moved on somewhat.

I can see why your DH was tempted to report. I have relatives who fiddle the system, including the almost mythical "babies for benefits" as a lifestyle choice sorts.

Does it annoy me that they seem to have a better lifestyle than me? Yes, endlessly. Would I report them? No. What they are doing is wrong, it just is, but their wrongs are not as grave as the wrongs committed by the tax evading rich.

Marilynsbigsister · 08/03/2016 22:25

Mrs De Vere, I am a fraud investigator and have been for 27 yrs. We do not always stop benefits. If it is a large scale complex fraud that is obviously going to result in court/prison we do not always stop it immediately if it will tip the fraudster off. It depends on each case. I do not work for dwp fraud but a ' unit' that encompasses large scale fraudsters against UK plc .

Yseulte · 08/03/2016 22:26

Oh, well then you're barking up completely the wrong tree as I'm a leftie. And I mentioned the suicidal in an earlier post.

kittybiscuits · 08/03/2016 22:35

Apologies Yseulte - so you did. It just seems so unbelievably wide of the mark to me to be 'cracking down' on this area while the very rich and multi national corporations pay little or no tax. These are crumbs, in terms of the bigger picture. Sorry for thread derail.

Yseulte · 08/03/2016 22:47

No worries. I totally agree as it goes. Put the thumbscrews in the poorest and most vulnerable, and let corporations off billions... Makes no financial sense whatsoever.

Anyway, apols OP, back to the thread.

Iggypoppie · 08/03/2016 22:59

ninja I feel sorry for you and your db. How to you think your db will react if you tell him?

AcrossthePond55 · 09/03/2016 01:55

A better comparison would be "if you saw someone driving perfectly normally down the road and believed them to be taxed MOT'd and insured would you ignore it or would you report it as a potential drink driver".

Disagree, that's comparing apples and oranges. What we (appear) to have here is Person A who (to Person B) appears to be living above what Person B believes to be Person A's lawful benefit entitlement. This makes Person B expect that Person A is getting additional benefits fraudulently or that Person A has income that the benefits office doesn't know about. Person B reports it. I don't see a problem with that, but then I look at from the point of view of someone who had (at one time) a vested interest in preventing or stopping fraud (vested interest as in it was my job).

sock, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one.

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit · 09/03/2016 02:00

The way the government have set it up - basically guilty until proven innocent (as money will be cut off while they investigate) is immoral and your DH is being U to have any part in that if he's not 100% certain.

Plus it's a huge betrayal.

Atenco · 09/03/2016 02:44

Gosh, sounds like what my gran believed Soviet Russia was like, neighbours and family members spying on each other.

To this day I have friends who I do not understand how they stretch their money and they are not on benefits. It is none of my business.

When I was on benefits when my dd was a child, I managed to buy her a pony and keep it without committing any fraud. I was on the same money as my neighbours who always ran out a few days before the end of the week.

mathanxiety · 09/03/2016 03:22

Atenco Wed 09-Mar-16 02:44:57
Gosh, sounds like what my gran believed Soviet Russia was like, neighbours and family members spying on each other.

THIS^^

Branleuse · 09/03/2016 07:59

doubleplus-ungood

wherethefuckisthefuckingtuna · 09/03/2016 08:26

The amount that people receive in benefits isn't enough to sustain that kind of lifestyle. It's likely the money has come from elsewhere.

I'm pretty sure you can be prosecuted if you report someone for benefit fraud with no basis to your accusation. It's waste of DWP time, after all...

bettyberry · 09/03/2016 08:46

If your DB is spending more time actually living with his partner then he absolutely is committing fraud. Under the rules as a single parent if you are spending regular time with a partner in their own home not your property you could be seen as living together and there is an expectation that you will live with them and sign yourself off as a 'single parent' even if that means making a joint JSA claim or further claim for taxcredits. The fact he is marrying her soon will not work in his favour I am afraid. But he will have known that. He will know the rules. He will know his change in circumstances should be reported.

I don't blame your DH if he suspects either.

I say this as someone who has been reported for benefit fraud (accused of living with a man when I wasn't)

I say this as someone who reported their own family member for blatant fraud (claiming to be homeless and living with family just to get a council house and benefits but still living with their partner)

It makes me sick to think people claim fraudulently - knowingly do so not by mistake which happens with all the fecking changes to the system they keep making Angry and then those who are in real need are seen as scroungers because of a teeny tiny percentage.

limitedperiodonly · 09/03/2016 10:22

I'm pretty sure you can be prosecuted if you report someone for benefit fraud with no basis to your accusation. It's waste of DWP time, after all...

We wouldn't want to do that, would we? Just thinking about the benefit:cost ratio of making a false allegation makes my tiny mind explode...

WeatherwaxOrOgg · 09/03/2016 10:31

Whilst I understand how you feel, I can completely understand how your husband feels because, if your brother were to be committing fraud, then technically your DH is paying for this, while his own family may go without.

I can't bear benefit fraudsters - so I would probably do what your husband did. It's possible that your brothers girlfriend is paying for these things and I appreciate that you can't really ask your brother about it without him knowing a subsequent report was from you.

If your brother has nothing to hide then the "investigation" will be gentle and quickly over - I have a close friend who went through a similar thing. They didn't accuse her of fraud, they just asked for proof of various things which she provided and they closed the case.

You know his lifestyle better than any of us obviously and some comments have expressed horror at reporting a potentially innocent person but it may be that your husband can easily see that apart from the girlfriend, whose life you probably know about too, there's nowhere else for him to have money from. If you have reasonable suspicion, I think it's a very good thing your husband did and remembering that he works hard to support you all, I'd try to understand his resentment and forgive him :)

WeatherwaxOrOgg · 09/03/2016 10:37

wherethefuckisthefuckingtuna Wed 09-Mar-16 08:26:20
I'm pretty sure you can be prosecuted if you report someone for benefit fraud with no basis to your accusation. It's waste of DWP time, after all...

You can't be prosecuted for this at all, in fact the government encourage people to shop others - there's a dedicated team that deal with it. If you look at this link, you don't even have to give your name :) www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud

wherethefuckisthefuckingtuna · 09/03/2016 11:17

@weatherwaxorogg

That's a shame. There should be penalties for maliciously reporting people who already have enough on their plate :(

InisSunset · 09/03/2016 12:06

I think it's disgusting that there's no penalties for people who make malicious calls of this nature. They should have to give their name. If they were convinced that someone was doing benefit fraud they should stand by their convictions, otherwise imo they're ashamed of what they've done. But really why is there not a government hotline to shop an MP you think might be committing fraud, or a business you suspect of not paying the appropriate tax.

Swipe left for the next trending thread