to consider lending this money?

[metalmickie]

My partner and I have been together for over 2 years. We don't yet live together. He's planning to buy a house shortly.

I own my own home, am fairly comfortably off, I earn an ok amount but I am lucky to have a fair bit in savings (£33k). My partner has a much better job (although he only started it in the New Year) and some savings, about £10k, but also £8k owed on credit cards etc. To buy a house, he could use his savings, however the mortgage providers have said that they'd take his existing 'debt' into account - and in doing so it would mean he'd only be able to borrow about £40k less (and therefore couldn't afford a property big enough for him and his DC).

So, we talked about it, and if I lend him £20-25k, he will be able to use this as a deposit (having used his own savings to clear the credit cards). His current credit cards have a total limit of £45k, so he would have no problem borrowing back the money thereafter to reimburse me, as soon as the house purchase was completed. His mortgage repayments even if he borrows the maximum he can, will be £200 less than his rent now, so he has no concerns about affording it.

WWYD if you were me?

He cannot afford a £200k house, with or without your money. He hasn't got enough in savings (after credit cards paid off) to cover mortgage application, solicitors fees and movers. He needs you for his entire deposit.

The minimum payments on £25k will not be small and will not stay interest free. Especially if he has this over several cards and so limiting available offers for new cards and switching.

The money he will be paying on credit cards that could go towards his mortgage is no different to paying rent that could be going toward a mortgage. Except it isn't a fixed cost.

My crystal ball tells me the op will be married to him by the summer. Give it a year or two and she will be gas lighted into a divorce where he cleans her out for her unreasonable behaviour.

The sceptic says this is how he cleared the 60k. He cleaned out a previous girlfriend.

Have you been left this house/large sum of money recently? You seem far too eager to throw it away!

Gosh, where to start...
Why do i have so much money? I inherited a small amount (about half the amount of my savings) some years ago. The main reason is that I bought a long time ago when houses were cheap - it's now worth about 3.5 times the purchase price. I have been fairly frugal, don't take foreign holidays or have expensive habits.

I've seen his credit reports from Experian, I think Equefax (?) and one other whose name escapes me. His scores are very high, much higher than my own. I witnessed various documents to do with his job, so am sure it exists, and the salary etc.

I know a few people who have savings whilst still owing money on 0% credit cards, so whilst it's not something I've ever done (as i would forget to switch balance at the end of the 0% interest period) it doesn't seem beyond the pale.

He has 10k savings but because he owes 8k on cards, the lenders only consider his savings as the net amount ie 2k.

Go for it, OP.

Lend him all your savings despite not one person one this thread agreeing with you.

Good luck-can't think what could possibly go wrong.

Maybe test him and say no or hesitate even, see what his reaction is, if he's honest he'll say fair enough, because it's a major ask.

Sometimes people have to find out the hard way. Lend him the money OP. See what happens.

Do come back and let us know how it goes.

But this is what I think, once he has it, I think you'll start hearing more sob stories about cars breaking down, work needed on the house etc. Excuses not to pay you back. You'll start arguing a bit more, it'll become a 'thing' between you, it'll sour your relationship.

So despite you asking this question and having about 180 posts saying "don't do it" you still haven't expressed a single doubt? Why did you ask again?

If you boyfriend wishes to buy a house in order to be local for his DCs and so that they are not staying over in a slum on his access days, he could apply to the Trustees of the DCs trust fund since this is for the benefit of the DCs.
Mortgage providers have not been able to provide to his wishes. Maybe the Trustees knocking him back will give you more insight into how poor a bet this guy is.
However, you buying a property and renting it to him and the DCs is not a bad idea in principal but he may decide not to pay the rent because you are the Landlord. You would have to be prepared to carry this through as if it was a stranger and evict him and his DCs.
It is probably difficult to find a partner who has the exact same financial position as oneself but do not let some man rob you of your assets. You would need to be very strong minded and business like and I don't think that is you from what I have read here

What fun evenings you must have, looking at his credit rating reports.

OP - money does weird things to people. It tears apart families, let alone relationships.

I agree with that old cliché - only lend money when you are prepared for not ever getting back.

He sounds like a conman, he sounds like he has you wrapped around his finger and he's showing you the "right" documents to prove how reliable he is. The truth is any man worth his salt wouldn't ask his partner to put all their life savings into him so he could save £200 a month. He has offered you no commitment, just vague promises.

I've volunteered and worked at a place which helps ex-cons reintegrate into society. They had a lot of stories to share.

Some conmen do go into the relationship for the long game while others enter the relationship honestly but towards the end of the relationship try to get as much out of it as possible.

You need to see a proper financial adviser who will tell you that this is a stupid idea and give you the reasons why. The red flags are blaring out and if you go ahead and give him the money, there is a very high chance you will never see the money again.

I'm going against the grain here,

This is someone you love who you have plans to live with eventually. The relationship is sound. He has proved himself to be financially sensible in recent years.

The current need for money isn't a desire, it's a need for his children. He could do without the money and buy a smaller unsuitable flat, or he could continue renting and keep saving for a deposit whilst house prices keep going up. However, it does make financial sense as a couple, to buy a house now with the £25k you have spare. Having said that you need to protect that money and it doesn't make sense to put it on credit cards.

You could buy the house together with a 10\90% split. He could then informally pay you back monthly until it's paid off, but in a worst case scenario you have 10% value of the home.

Why wouldn't you do something to help the partner you love and intend to be with forever? Yes it's a risk, but so is moving in together. This couple are not moving in together for practical reasons but they should still do things that benefit them as a couple, as they are, well a couple.

Just make things water tight legally, just as I am sure you would if you were moving in together.

OP, why wouldn't he ask his parents who have known him their WHOLE lives for a loan. it doesn't matter that they are retired.

I think it's worrying that he wouldn't.

You are ignoring everyone's advice and comments. It's a very odd.

How about op, you keep your present house, then put a deposit down on a house (in your name only) with a buy to let mortgage. He can then pay you rent to cover the mortgage and save a little bit faster. Do it formally and have a contract.

Just coming on to add to the chorus of "hell no!". While your desire to help is admirable, it is also quite naive. Worst case scenario - you never see your money again. What effect would that have on you and your DC in the future? Your quality of life in retirement? Uni fees or helping THEM with house deposits later? His idea of paying you back via cc is frankly barmy and a massive indicator of his lack of good sense where money is concerned! He is an adult and it is not your responsibility to bail him out at a cost to yourself and your own DC.

I have RTFT but haven't seen it mentioned anywhere - who suggested the solution of you lending him money? If it was him, that's another huge red flag for me.

OP I am sorry but you are being gullible.

Here are a few truths:

• Conmen/women invariably play the long game if the reward at the end of it is worth it.
• if you lend this money then you have to be prepared to never see it again.
• you are blinded to this fact and need to accept that you cannot make a rational decision so need other professionals to help you to do this.

MN is littered with posts from people who have done exactly what you are planning to do and have ended up several years down the line in a truly crap place. don't be one of those people.

there is no red flag on the MN icons but if there was you would have seen everyone on this thread waving it.

No no no no no.

Serenity I doubt he would have come straight out with asking for the money, it would more likely be hints, then the person with the money would do the offering.

The answer seems to be a resounding NO! Keep a hold of your savings!

The excellent credit scores really mean sod all when placed next to this gem: His current credit cards have a total limit of £45k, so he would have no problem borrowing back the money thereafter to reimburse me

If that came out of his mouth, it's not hard to see how he ended up with £60k of credit card debt. If it came out of yours, you really need to get some proper financial advice.

So you lot would never advocate anyone ever moving in together? This couple would be thinking along those lines if it wasn't for practicalities. It's admirable that he is putting his children first. Moving in together is always a bit of a risk. Why shouldn't the op take a bit if a risk after being with him for two years. She knows him. We don't. Everything she has said points to the fact that he seems a good guy. He might not be, but then at some point in every relationship risks have to be taken to move forward.

The op knows her partner. It does make financial sense long term as long as she protects her money.

The pp who mentioned applying to the trust to release money for the kids benefit may have a point. That could be a route worth exploring.

Grape Nothing wrong with moving in with him but I'd still want to keep hold of my own money.

She is being hoodwinked.

I've read all the op posts and some of the thread. I would probably only do so if i was buying the house with him in a shared owndership agreement where you are not buying it together but rather buying a percentage share each. I did this with a friend. You can get a solicitor to draw up an agreement to set it out as you'd like. Yes there is a risk, but it sounds like he's probably a good risk in your opinion and your opinion is the one that matters at the end of this. Make a list of conditions and talk it over together with a solicitor or even a mortgage advisor. I think there's a compromise between not lending him anything and simply lending it to him on a verbal agreement. Good luck - just make sure all scenarios are covered and sort out both your wills while you're at it - i.e get them signed together and stored at a solicitors.

Rent your house out and buy somewhere together ?