To request mumsnet to add a 'polyamorous families' section under parenting?

[whycantwegoonasthree]

There's every other kind of family type, pretty much, and polyamorous families have some unique joys and challenges that it would be nice to share and discuss.

Or maybe we're the last frontier and even MN aren't ready to go there.

Yet.

Just done as you suggested icompletelyunderstand and still have no idea what you are on about- all looked food related to me.

Rubbish.

Anyway, let's not derail this thread just look harder or I'll have to start posting thousands of links

Don't tell your children about it, my dad tried with us, explained it in the 'every family is different and this is our family' set up.. Took it at first then we saw right through it, and the younger ones are now too.

What I would do op is introduce them to your partner, tell them he is not replacing them in any way and they can have as much or as little to do with him as they like. They don't have to include him or his other family in school play nights or anything that they just want their mum to come to, or their real dad. And he is not replacing their bio dad.

Do not tell them you are in his family and he is in your family or any of that bullshit. Believe me, the teens on his side are 'ok' with it but only because they are old enough to see that all this is is their dad shagging two women and their mum is ok with it.

WILL SOMEONE BACK ME UP PLEASE?

Bear thinks I am making this up.

I think it's pretty clear that even if it is a 'thang' it isn't a very well known one.

Maybe it's a quiche quiche

Right. i am throwing down the gauntlet now.

I am going to start a thread in chat to see how many people know about MN quiches.

Lol- you beat me to it

One vote here for quiche, I've always felt calling a clique a quiche was a bit cliquey to me and I was on the outside of that cliquey quiche... But it's definitely a thing on here, like it or not!

Definitely a thing.

I've noticed it quite a while ago. And yes, even MNHQ use is, as do gin. (quite up with the lingo they are)

OP: lists.poly.org.uk should lead you there - would PM you the direct link but can't seem to change username when messaging. Don't want to ruin my usual respectable reputation!

(and quiches are a tedious MN 'thing'. Like naice ham and poo trolls...)

I've applied to join the poly.uk list. Thanks Teabagpleb for that

Well I have really nothing to give to this thread (I think the OP and Phequer seemed to have both behaved very decently). On the actual issue I'm not sure what I think.

I just came on to say that Quiche is most definitely Mumsnet parlance for clique.

Ideally I wouldn't. But once the children know about DP then so will EXH. And unfortunately, he will know/work out who he is - EXH knows DP (sort of). And EXH is an arse but he's a clever arse. Anyway, it's a long story I won't go into here as it divulges too much personal info. Suffice to say, when my children know EXH will know, so might as well take that one head on.

I wonder if she needs the same validation from him that she's looking for here.

She doesn't need to tell him or this forum anything about this ménage à trois, (not that it's technically quite one) but yet we know nonetheless in minute detail.

It feels like she doesn't quite know what she's doing, of which the precipitous financial entanglement is part.

Xposts, that was in response do this:

have you considered some counselling to unpick why you feel the need to be quite so honest

Twinkle - I'm not responding to you - you're just being rude and insulting for, as far as I can see, shits and giggles. I'm still on the thread so no need to refer to me as 'she', for example. You just swoop in here to make side swipes at my personality and I'm not engaging with that. You can fuck off, frankly. I'm not giving you any further encouragement to be vile.

Phequer, I'll take on board what you've said. My feeling was that I wanted to get the legal side clarified and then essentially say "there you go, this is what the situation is, do your worst" to EXH. But that may be born out of desire not to let him intimidate me or have any kind of emotional hold over me - a legacy of our marriage rather than a rational, pragmatic decision.

That and the fact I don't want to hide anything any more. It's tiring, and there's no reason to, other than fear. I spent ten years tired and frightened, I don't want to be that any more.

I'll think further and discuss with my solicitor when I next see her. You've given me something to think about, anyway.

I was replying to Phequer, and it was an unfortunate coincidence that we xposted. Had I known you were around I'd have addressed you.

I'm genuinely not trying to be unkind, just commenting on how things come across. I do think Phequer has a point.

I completely agree with Phequer I see no need to over-manage this at the moment. In fact there isn't really any need to explain to your children that it is a poly set up, because on a day to day level it really isn't. They aren't going to be walking into the bedroom to find the three of you cuddled up together, they aren't likely to be staying overnight at your DP's and walking in to find him in bed with his other partner either.

Everything can be neatly explained by saying that for half the week he goes to stay with his children and that you and the mother of his children get along very well and are good friends. This is like many blended families. Really no need to bring your DP's sex life into it, and that's all this really boils down to - your DPs sex life. not yours, not hers, HIS.

In fact by the sounds of things he is only at yours when the children aren't, do there isn't even any need to explain why he isn't there some of the time!