To request mumsnet to add a 'polyamorous families' section under parenting?

[whycantwegoonasthree]

There's every other kind of family type, pretty much, and polyamorous families have some unique joys and challenges that it would be nice to share and discuss.

Or maybe we're the last frontier and even MN aren't ready to go there.

Yet.

Please can I ask, just out of curiosity, how you meet the other people to be poly with?

I don't know anyone currently in this kind of set up* but I know my friends and I have had a hard enough time trying to find one person to be with, never mind more and then all the logistics around them getting on, maybe sleeping together, how does it work?

I dunno, it's not that often I've felt attracted to someone in all the ways iyswim, and HOW do you meet? Online, at poly clubs? Or can you 'just tell' if someone is poly?

I'm just fascinated, sorry to ask stupid questions. I quite like the idea in some ways tbh, the time to myself, the sex, but I wouldn't like my partners having other partners I don't think, I'm a big hypocrite!

*i remembered an older bloke I know who does have 2 wives (religious) but they hate each other so he compartmentalises!

Haven't read the thread but are these poly relationships with one woman and several men or one man and more than one woman?
I assume this is in utah as I havent heard of this much in the UK. Quite niche though!

Kennington, no, we're right here. Right under your nose. Not just in Utah.

Just caught up with the thread. Round of applause to OP for remaining calm! Not sure I could.

Seems there may be a few more of us poly parents on MN who are afraid to put their head above the parapet because of the kind of response she's got here.

I see people are still trying to exlain your relationship to you OP. You're very lucky that so many people are taking the time to help you understand your life. That you actually live. Every day.

I assume this is in Utah

EuropeanSpoon, poly people meet others the same way non-poly people do -online dating, in real life...

I met my secondary partner on Tinder, he was my first ever online date. There are quite a few poly people on OKC. I met another poly girl at a BBQ recently. Our local poly group recently ran a poly speed dating event which was a sell-out!

OP, I do admire the way you have responded to this thread with the stick you have got. It's very admirable and I could not have kept my cool like you have.

I had been thinking about this thread and how I made judgments about you and I feel bad about that now. I don't understand it, I don't have to but I shouldn't have made out that you were two women who had somehow been coerced into this situation. It wasn't fair of me to make out that you didn't know your own minds or to tell you if your relationship is PA or not.

I feel quite embarrassed and ashamed by my replies to you last night, I hate people being arseholes to others and yet I was an arse to you and I had no right to do that. I apologise OP and I wish you luck with telling your children.

Phequer, I really don't mind being asked questions, and I think I've been pretty good about answering them as fully and clearly as I can.

A lot if people haven't been asking me things though. They've been telling me things. Like my relationship isn't poly. That I can't possibly be ok with my DP loving someone else. That OSO and I are mugs and DP is an arsehole. That we are damaging our children.

Which isn't quite the same thing is it.

I'm not say you've done that BTW - your questions have been a bit hostile at times, but in the main they have been actual question born out of wanting to understand better, even though you may disagree with it, and I've no problem engaging with that.

My parents were poly. I am NOT a fan of this type of relationship.

What's different about this thread that means the op can't be asked questions or have her view challenged? Is it because it's poly related and if so why?

Why does anyone need to challenge the OP's view of her own life? How she describes it is up to her.

How anyone can argue with a complete stranger over their own life is mind boggling...not to mention why they would even want to.

I've just read TFT and perhaps I'm naive but I'm really shocked at the the judgemental attitudes shown by lots of PPs and I'm even more shocked and incredibly impressed that OP has kept her composure throughout!

I respect anybody's right to be in a PA relationship and would definitely support your request of a PA board where you could seek advice regarding your situation without having to also defend your set up.

I hope you manage to get some advice soon on how to explain your set up to your children as I'm sure it will make your life much less complicated once you are able to spend time with all of the people who make you happy all at the same time rather than spending time with them separately.

Good luck OP

Cleaty. You don't have to like it. Just don't tell others they shouldn't be doing it.

Phequer they were part of that discussion and consideration and continue to be. It was my decision not to tell them up to now simply because of the shitstorm it will unleash with my EXH.

DP would love to be a part of their lives as would OSO and I would love them to be.

It's simply a case of me needing to find the nerve. Because the flack I will get then will be far worse than that I've had in this thread and from people who actually have the capacity to make life harder for me if they choose to.

Cleaty - I'd really like to know why if you wouldn't mind sharing...

Sorry about the Utah comment - I really thought it was a Mormon thing!
Anyway is it 1 man plus women or 1 woman plus men? Or both Just interested. I don't have. Clue obviously.

It was the OP's choice not to tell her kids, phequer.

What and when the other parties tell their kids is not up to the OP.

Of course anyone can do what they want as long as it is legal. None of my business. I talked about myself, I did not tell OP what to do or think.

I think though it is rare in a poly relationship, that someone in the relationship does not end up getting a bad deal or even exploited.