To request mumsnet to add a 'polyamorous families' section under parenting?

[whycantwegoonasthree]

There's every other kind of family type, pretty much, and polyamorous families have some unique joys and challenges that it would be nice to share and discuss.

Or maybe we're the last frontier and even MN aren't ready to go there.

Yet.

I think the topic is a good idea if this is what the threads would be like. I could then hide it.

me being bisexual doesnt change the relationship i am in

So OP being PA wouldnt (in Beyondland) mean that any relationship she has is necessarily PA, unless she is actively in a relationship with more than one person.

Otherwise she's just monogamous.

But she may still be in a polyamorous relationship because they are not mutually exclusive. She is knowingly sharing her partner.

Thanks for your answer, sounds like it can be nice if you are poly. I would be jealous, but it'd be nice to have a friend too x

You know, OP, you're stuffed if he decides to call it quits. His wife will hold all the cards and you're relying on him to help pay for your house. You'll get nothing if it goes tits up.

Good point. And then all the fun and games are over. Seems like it's all geared up to be in his favour.

Do you think he'd be fine with you having another partner if that new partner lived with you OP? Would he still come round 3 days a week?

Course he bloody wouldn't.

Phequer, if it goes tits up (which I don't expect it to or be any more likely to than anyone in a monogamous relationship), then I will be fine. I don't need or expect him to support me.

He contributes to this house because he lives here part of the week and regards it as his home. But I don't need him to.

And neither does his OSO, far from it.

Years ago I posted on a message board with a woman who was in a polyamorous relationship (one woman, two men). They all had sexual relationships with each other, and they had a vast quantity of children (eleven or twelve, I think), some of whom were the biological offspring of one man and some of the other. She was always very open about the relationship(s), which led to some conflict on the message board and many unkind remarks directed at her.

TBH, I was always a bit dubious about the whole story. It was all presented as idyllic: everyone living together in a big house in the country, with horses and chickens, the children were all gifted and being homeschooled, the parents lived in a harmonious triad, etc. I could never quite make up my mind whether it was a completely accurate representation of her life or pure fantasy (or perhaps something in between).

I don't know whether a board devoted to poly families on MN would attract many posts, but this thread (and my experiences on the board I mentioned above) indicates that the OP might well be a target for hostile comments if she posts on other parts of MN. A dedicated board might cut down on such remarks. Or it might attract them even more.

He might, bluespiral. He's bi.

I, on the other hand, love having the house (and bed) to myself half the week so wouldn't be inviting another cohabiting partner...

I'm sorry I'm usually all for each to their own and all that...

But this seems like a spectacular way to fuck up children.

Imagine trying to get your head around that one at a young age. Or explaining it to your mates as you get older.

There are loads of women (people) who tolerate their partner's infidelity, doesn't make them polyamorous.

OP and the wife are each in a monogamous relationship with one man, he's involved with two women.

Maybe that's one of the reasons OP wuld like an area to discuss this peppa
So she can get advice from people with experience of the situation.

Who was that poly troll a few years ago? The one with the sister shagging in the barn?

I remember that very well it got totally hilarious weird with lots of posts about the women brushing each other's hair in front of the fire and wearing short nighties with no knickers and sitting on each other's knee.

Would he happy/ is it in your agreement if you had a second man but that man didn't move in (as you don't want someone living with you all the time)?

Sex of any kind between two people of opposite sexes is heterosexual sex. Heterosexual sex is not just PIV.

Shame nobody told my ex boyfriend

So you'd accept that she's in a polyamorous family if she simply told her children, Phequer? Your posts so far on this thread make that very hard to believe.

Why is it hard to understand that there isn't one set mould and that polyamorous families, like all families, come in different forms?

What MotherKat describes, is how I always imagined polyamory.

OP just sounds like the OW of a man whose Wife has major self esteem and respect issues, justifying her OW status.

I have experience of someone claiming they are 'poly' when they are really just selfishly fucking up their family Clopy.

It was my father.

His first wife was slowly dying from cancer, they had two children.

Dad basically bullied this woman into accepting my mother as another 'partner' in the relationship.

She was so scared of being on her own (my half brother and sister told me all about how she used to cry when he left to come to my mums house and got them to 'play along' with the delusion that it was normal) that she just let him get all his own way.

She died and my fabulous parents merged us all in to one great big fucked up household where the teenagers and child had to pretend to be cool with it all.

Like I said. A fabulous way to fuck up children.

I'm certain the OP knows this woman and how she feels better than you do, violet