To request mumsnet to add a 'polyamorous families' section under parenting?

[whycantwegoonasthree]

There's every other kind of family type, pretty much, and polyamorous families have some unique joys and challenges that it would be nice to share and discuss.

Or maybe we're the last frontier and even MN aren't ready to go there.

Yet.

OP in a sexual relationship with one partner and a non sexual relationship with another partner.

No she's not. She's fucking the guy and having lunch with his wife.

Being friends, doing yoga is not the same as being in a relationship.

another single bit on the side

Fuck me that's offensive.

Where to start, Worra?

I really don't see how your description fits what the OP describes.
She is in it and knows how it works. We don't.

phequer penis in vagina is, how to put this delicately, a fairly small minority of the sex I have..I'm not inclined to define the entire thing round it.

No Phequor. All three parties are in a poly relationship because they all know the situation.

She is in it and knows how it works. We don't.

Yes

Fuck me that's offensive.

And yes again.

Then you're easily offended Clopy. If the OP was PA she would know exactly how her boyfriend would react to her having sex with someone else and that he'd be fine with it.

Right now she has no clue because he's the only one having sex with two people.

Surely you are in a polyamorous relationship because neither you are exclusive and everyone involved fully consents and is happy with the situation?
The OP doesn't need to have a sexual relationship with the other woman in the V.

I'm not defining my hetero-marriage on PIV btw, just the fact that i am a woman (adult human female ) who is married to a man (adult human male)

Sex of any kind between two people of opposite sexes is heterosexual sex. Heterosexual sex is not just PIV.

My previous V's and relationships with females have sweet FA to do with it

Hi whycantwe, is it like an open relationship or is that something different? Sorry if I offend, I dont know all this stuff :)

She identifies as polyamorous. That's her call. No-one else's

Rachel Dolezal identified as black, it didn't make it true.

I think for me what makes this set up different to an OW set up is non of the partners have a desire to change things. If we chose to believe the OP. Which I have chosen to believe as I try and believe what most poster put on here.

If there is no sense of things changing or developing into something different. If the relationships are static. That all 3 are happy with how it is right now, with no desire to fundamentally change.

A married man with a bit on the side is something different. They do yoga together ffs. Would you do yoga with the OW? You sometimes fart in yoga. Would you let the OW see you do downward dog and regret last nights beans on toast?

Of all the shocking things I have read on mn this just isn't shocking. I had plenty of relationships when I was single. Some overlapped. Some were fwbs type relationships. Some knew I wasn't monogamous. It doesn't mean I was a V or whatever it is. Because those relationships were fluid and changing. Either they developed into a monogamous relationship or they fizzled out. Or I began a new monogamous relationship and ended the fwb set up. Maybe permanently. Maybe until I or the other fwb explored a different relationship.

I find this thread quite sad. This is supposed to be a parenting forum and a parent has asked or plans to ask for advuce. Instead of advice she has been judged and mocked and condemned. Is that what mn does when someone different asks for advice?

The OP doesn't need to have a sexual relationship with the other woman in the V

No, but she needs to have been, currently be, or intend to be in a PA relationship with someone other than her DP.

Otherwise she's just monogamous.

phequar I think you're wrong in at least some cases. Because for me, being bisexual overrides the situational distinction between having sex with men or women (or non-binary people, of course). My sexuality is intrinsic to me, not to how I practice it and which gender it's practised on.
I'm still bisexual when I have a wank, too.

But that's me. If other bisexual people want to have straight sex, I'm not going to tell them they can't..

Worra you haven't been paying attention. I have clearly stated that my DP would be completely fine with me having another relationship as he would if his OSO wanted to. And we both have in the past.

I said we'd have to talk about it because each of our relationships affects our other relationships and because, well, that's just how we do things.

A married man with a bit on the side is something different. They do yoga together ffs. Would you do yoga with the OW? You sometimes fart in yoga. Would you let the OW see you do downward dog and regret last nights beans on toast?

Love this.

Skittless - similar but in open relationships it not usually expected that your partners will have any kind of relationship with each other. DPs OSO and I do, albeit not a sexual/romantic one. It is different from an ordinary female friendship though as our lives are more entwined, practically, financially and emotionally than most friends.

That said really Polyamory is just a kind of open relationship model, nonmongamy would be another, swinging another... And the list goes on...

I'm sorry this thread hasn't quite been plain sailing.

There are a few people on here who are obviously in poly relationships but who do not discuss that due to the worry that this thread would happen to them if they did!

For that very reason it would be worth asking for it and I think you should ask people to pm you so you can show it's not just you or ask other pollys to talk themselves to mnhq.

If you had a board you wouldn't have needed to answer half the questions or face any of the judgment you have by posting here!

Fyi. I'm not poly, don't think it would work for me personally but have no issue if others are and also understand that there is no one blueprint on what poly is!