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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want the 4 strange teenagers in my home this weekend?

152 replies

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 15:52

DSS lives a long way away, but is visiting this weekend as the team he manages has a fixture in our town. He rang DH this morning to ask if 4 team members could stay with us too, as their accommodation has fallen through. I wasn't keen as I don't know any of them and don't really want 4 teenage boys in my home. I contacted a work colleague who lets her flat through Air BnB and she agreed a good rate. Sent the details to DSS. He has now texted to say can they all stay here anyway, as it would be cheaper. It's three nights. AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
BigQueenBee · 04/03/2016 18:10

I find those with the biggest incomes are as tight as ducks arses.
Putting a price on a few meals that your DSS friends consume?.
Laughable ( and very strange)

Deletetheheat · 04/03/2016 18:11

OP you win the prize for the most drip feeds ever

Arfarfanarf · 04/03/2016 18:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chiup · 04/03/2016 18:14

I would not let them stay! No way!

You don't know them, their characters or history. I wouldn't want strangers in my home or around my young children, and the au pair might feel very uncomfortable.

Your DSS is being VU to ask you to put them up. He needs to book a b&b not expect you to bail him out!

TinklyLittleLaugh · 04/03/2016 18:14

Why are people calling them the DS's friends? They are his colleagues/pupils.

Five sporty young men for 3 nights will cost a lot to feed. Are they going to be out on the town after the fixture and waking up the household? Are they going to have loads of mucky kit?

expatinscotland · 04/03/2016 18:15

'If you can afford an Au Pair ,I doubt you are in financial dire straights.
What's a few dinners worth in terms of your DSS happiness?'

It's one of the cheaper child care options, particularly if you need childcare outside of office hours Hmm.

His happiness? His cheapness, more like. These are not his mates, they are team members of a team he manages and who are given an accommodation allowance.

'A few meals'? Feeding 5 young men for 3 days could fun into quite a bit.

I'd charge them for food. And make it clear you're not there to be used as a hotel.

AppleSetsSail · 04/03/2016 18:31

I feel torn.

Really torn.

I'd let my boys bring their friends home at any time. The fact that they're not exactly friends and that it's 3 days and your house is not huge gives me quite a bit of pause.

AppleSetsSail · 04/03/2016 18:32

Hang on, I might have imagined that your house is not big. Do you have room enough for them?

Stillwishihadabs · 04/03/2016 18:47

This isn't bringing a mate or two home though is it ? 4 of them for 3 nights. That is an absolutely huge ask and yy to whoever said they will cost a fortune to feed and water.

Xmasbaby11 · 04/03/2016 18:50

Yanbu. They aren't friends and there is a cheap alternative

NewYearSameMe · 04/03/2016 18:52

I don't see any need for you to feed them anything except breakfast tbh. They will be busy during the day, then they can eat out and come back to your house just to sleep. And, yes, your DH is responsible for breakfast, tidying up the kitchen and washing all the bed linen afterwards (with any luck they will have brought sleeping bags with them, but you haven't had much luck so far so I doubt they will).

InkleWinkle · 04/03/2016 18:59

Where are the rest of the team staying & why does it need to be 3 nights?

Wheresmybippers · 04/03/2016 19:23

Oh heck no! First, they're not his friends. Second, the age gap between them is weird to me. They're sporty young men who will have the maturity of teens and he's a full grown man. Third, 3 nights?! Not a chance. As pp said, do not lift a finger and DEFINITELY get that accommodation money from them. Tell him you're not interested what DH said, either they can do the full grocery shop for the days they're there or they can pay up! Appalling behaviour on DSS's part IMO. Totally using you.

WitchWay · 04/03/2016 19:31

How mature &/or sensible old is the au pair?

One of the sixth formers at DS's school was caught shagging the 20yo au pair by his dad. Much embarrassment all round.

coconutpie · 04/03/2016 19:45

So your DH has told them that they can stay - people who his son isn't even friends with, when you have a 3 and 5 year old in the house as well as an au pair? I would be fuckin livid. You don't know these people at all and your DSS doesn't really know them either. Your DH is a bloody idiot.

coconutpie · 04/03/2016 19:46

Oh and your DSS is a total twat as well - he's 25, he should fuckin know better. He clearly has not much respect for you at all.

amarmai · 04/03/2016 20:05

not fair to anyone in your home and they are taking the piss as they get $$ for accomodation. Did he ask his mum?

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 05/03/2016 07:35

Update. The young men arrived, they were polite and respectful, went out to eat. DH sorted the beds, and got a big loaf of bread so they can have toast before heading off. They will be out from 10 each day and back late so shouldn't be too much hassle. DSS isn't up yet despite DCs going to see him the moment they woke up. They both love him, and I get annoyed that what was billed as 'we have a fixture in town, how about I come and see you all' became the whole team staying for free last minute. DH is aware he's been played again, but he ended up on the sofa last night as I was coughing a lot and hasn't slept well so we will have that chat later!

OP posts:
Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 05/03/2016 07:47

One DC is now sitting outside the door of the spare room saying "when are DSS and his friends going to get uuuuuuuuup". The other is trying a different tactic and reading loudly to herself right outside the door interspersed with singing 'Let It Go'. They may be regretting the free option! Grin

OP posts:
leelu66 · 05/03/2016 07:50

DSS sounds like an entitled twunt. Do you think your DH has finally seen the light? It's your home too, you should have a say in whether or not 5 grown men stay in your house.

leelu66 · 05/03/2016 07:52

Good! Let's hope your kids will wake them at 6am tomorrow!

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 05/03/2016 07:57

I think the DCs will do the alarm calls every morning leelu Grin. They're young, excited about seeing their DB and interested in the new people.
Entitled is right. DSS even rang to ask DH to collect them all from the train station - how he thought six of them and their bags would fit in our tiny car I'm not sure. The thing is, he tends to withdraw contact unless he wants something, then DH gets upset, and older DC too. Once this weekend is over I think DH and I need to re-think the dynamic.

OP posts:
Mitfordhons · 05/03/2016 08:00

Entitled! I assume you're referring to the two children demanding that Dss gets up before 8 on a weekend morning by being noisy? Jeez

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 05/03/2016 08:05

No, Mitford, I wasn't Hmm. The DCs are 5 and 3, and it's their house, so tiptoeing around so guests can sleep isn't really realistic. Up until yesterday, this visit was billed as 'isn't it lovely, your DB is coming to stay' and they want to see him - it only happens a couple of times a year. Why is that entitled?

OP posts:
tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit · 05/03/2016 08:11

Your post was 7:35, that's hardly a lie-in!

I think it's unfair to let the little ones wake them up early when they have a match to play - are they playing today?

Personally I'd want these people to stay - friends or colleagues - partly so I know who my child's friends and associates are.

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