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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want the 4 strange teenagers in my home this weekend?

152 replies

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 15:52

DSS lives a long way away, but is visiting this weekend as the team he manages has a fixture in our town. He rang DH this morning to ask if 4 team members could stay with us too, as their accommodation has fallen through. I wasn't keen as I don't know any of them and don't really want 4 teenage boys in my home. I contacted a work colleague who lets her flat through Air BnB and she agreed a good rate. Sent the details to DSS. He has now texted to say can they all stay here anyway, as it would be cheaper. It's three nights. AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
Phalenopsisgirl · 04/03/2016 16:25

Even if they were his 'mates' this doesn't entitle them to desend on you. I would just say you aren't feeling well and therefore are not up to having guests, end of discussion

AgentProvocateur · 04/03/2016 16:25

YABU - your DSS know them so they're not strangers. What do you think they'll do to your au pair and 5 and 3 year old? I can't imagine being so inhospitable to my DC's friends.

chanelfreak · 04/03/2016 16:26

After that last comment from your DH, I would be sorely tempted to go to your friend's AirBnB place with the DCs and let your DH pay for that and also entertain the teenagers.

meddie · 04/03/2016 16:26

Not unless you want your house to stink of farts...(previous experience)

CaptainCrunch · 04/03/2016 16:27

YANBU. That would be my worst nightmare. They're not even friends, just too tight to spend money on b&b.

SenecaFalls · 04/03/2016 16:28

And you're sick with a cold. There's your excuse.

Rachel0Greep · 04/03/2016 16:30

YANBU. Three nights is a lot to expect to stay, especially when they actually do get money for accommodation.
Direct them to the Airbnb.

expatinscotland · 04/03/2016 16:30

'Sorry, I have a really bad cold. Am not up to having so many stay. So you'll need to use the Air BnB.'

The end. I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I would be majorly peeved he saw my home as a free place to freeload whilst they all kept the money they were given for lodging.

Bogeyface · 04/03/2016 16:34

"No, have arranged for you to go to friends place, you can pay when you arrive from your accommodation allowance"

Then have not-so-quiet word with your spineless DH

Bogeyface · 04/03/2016 16:35

Dont forget that you have a duty of care to the au pair, hardly fair on her to have to deal with a bunch of lads that she doesnt know in the house.

Phalenopsisgirl · 04/03/2016 16:36

I'm shocked that people think you should just accept these people in your home despite not wanting to. Dss is coming as a guest, if I were going to stay with my parents I would no more invite 4 people to join me in their home than I would roll myself in tar and feathers! It's quite one thing going to stay with your family because you happen to be in town, it's a complete other thing thinking you can treat them and their home as a guest house!

bumblefeline · 04/03/2016 16:38

YANBU Nope I wouldn't like it. I am a grump anyway and hate having guests.

SpinachJelly · 04/03/2016 16:38

I've got three sons of my own and would happily have their friends to stay. But these aren't your DSS friends. What about the rest of the team? Word gets about that Elisa is offering free lodgings and you could have all 11 turn up. It would be a 'no' from me.

MitzyLeFrouf · 04/03/2016 16:38

Different families have different dynamics. Some people love a full house.

MitzyLeFrouf · 04/03/2016 16:40

A German tourist once knocked on my Granny's door and asked if he could pitch a tent in her field for a couple of nights. She was scandalised and insisted he stay in the house instead.

MitzyLeFrouf · 04/03/2016 16:40

I'm not as hospitable as that though!

Deletetheheat · 04/03/2016 16:42

Hmm I'd probably do it for my teenage son's teammates yes. Not very convenient though I admit. Your DSS is obviously keen for them to stay.

Gobbolino6 · 04/03/2016 16:42

I'd let them stay. And Mitzy, I'm almost crying with laughter.

TheVeryThing · 04/03/2016 16:43

They are his work-mates rather than his friends, and just trying to save themselves some money.
Three nights is a long time to put up 4 adults who are neither friends nor family so I would say no, and have a word with the spineless DH.

Whathaveilost · 04/03/2016 16:48

Drip feeds change everything from my previous comment.
I don't know why I bother replying when half the story is missing!

listsandbudgets · 04/03/2016 16:53

Have read OP and various drip feeds, YANBU

listsandbudgets · 04/03/2016 16:55

PS love the user name - Elisaveta is a lovely character and shows so much grit later on during the war.

expatinscotland · 04/03/2016 17:09

And yy, poor au pair. I wouldn't be happy. Hope you told them to take the AirBnB. I'd have a word with your spineless H and your H needs to have a word with his son about using the house as a free hotel.

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 17:17

Well. DSS rang DH and he has agreed they can stay. Spineless is about right whoever said that - only ever in relation to DSS though. DH bends over backwards for DSS because he still feels guilty for splitting from his mum - who is a strange sort who cut off all contact with DSS when he was only 16. DSS knows this and sometimes takes the piss big time, IMO.

OP posts:
StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 04/03/2016 17:20

if they were friends it would certainly be a yes, work acquaintances with a budget for accommodation then nope.