Not to want the 4 strange teenagers in my home this weekend?

[EElisavetaOfBelsornia]

DSS lives a long way away, but is visiting this weekend as the team he manages has a fixture in our town. He rang DH this morning to ask if 4 team members could stay with us too, as their accommodation has fallen through. I wasn't keen as I don't know any of them and don't really want 4 teenage boys in my home. I contacted a work colleague who lets her flat through Air BnB and she agreed a good rate. Sent the details to DSS. He has now texted to say can they all stay here anyway, as it would be cheaper. It's three nights. AIBU to say no?

He has taken the piss big-time here, and your DH needs words having with him for not backing you up.

I second going to the Air BNB, ask for money for food and lodging in accordance with what they get for accommodation, and head off for some peace so you can get well.

I would be furious with dh "it's your decision" it implies he doesn't take your feelings into consideration at all. Four friends crashing over would be fine four young men who get accommodation allowance not if you don't want to. Book into a lovely hotel leave a totally empty fridge and have a lovely weekend

YANBU. You are essentially being asked to put your DSS' work colleagues up so they can pocket their per diem. I think he is out of order to ask.

And I'd say the same whether the OP was mother or stepmother. Friends is fine; work colleagues, no.

Take the DC and stay at your friends B&B.

Tell "D"H how much to charge (not DSS, of course, just the others) to cover the cost.

He can supervise them.

Take the au pair with you, if she would feel more comfortable, or at least give her the option. She might have s friend she'd prefer to stay with.

OMG! I missed your update about spineless DH

Agree - take the DC and stay at the Airbnb, and tell your DH what money to collect from them to cover the cost of inconveniencing you so severely.

I'd be fuming with your DH. I wouldn't help them out at all with any of the organisation (bedding etc) and take myself off to the air b&b.

No i wouldnt due to au pair and lack of room. If dh is that spineless i think you need to let dss know its the cost of the allowance they are given to stay to cover expenses or you get a cold. Either way i bet dss team mates would say somewhere else. Surprised you can get 5 in a room!

I would in your position. They're not close friends, they're acquaintances trying to save some cash. And they'll eat all your food.

*wouldnt! Not would.

Great idea! Sadly I can't afford my colleague's place. I sort of suspected we would end up covering the cost if they stayed there, DSS has lots of form for 'loans' which are never repaid. So at least having them stay saves me money. DH on his way home, he'd better have his flameproof jacket on.

So you're stuck with 5 extra people when you already have a full house and a stinking cold? I would be fucking raging. I'd demand money from them, too. Your husband has no respect for you. I wouldn't fucking entertain them, either. Tell them to go to a shop and buy their own food, I have a cold and am not cooking or clearing up.

You need to charge them bed & board - how much do you think they will cost to feed???

I'd be happy having them if it were me, but would want a contribution.

I'd rip Dh a new one if he did this to me. I'd be very tempted to take the au pair and kids to a cheaper b&b if I could find one. Let him deal with them and clean it all up after, spineless arse.

It would cost a lot to feed 5 adults, I'd think. So yeah, you need to get money from them.

Your husband is going to do all (and I mean all) of the extra work associated with having 3 guests in your house for 3 nights then ?

They can go grocery shopping, cook, clean up and baby sit, while you nurse your cold.

There are five of them, AF.

'Oh, but Dad said we could stay for free.' 'And we're not charging you to stay. We're charging for food.' £150 sounds about right.

YANBU... Four men I don't know in my house? No way.

Your dh needs a kick up the arse.

For the love of God, it's three nights!
The lad is family right?
Why are you so pent up about such a trivial thing.
Why is this such a big deal.
I would be embarrassed at the thought of my DC's friends thinking they needed to find alternative accommodation if staying a few night with a friend,

Since DH has caved behind your back due to pressure from DSS I would not lift a finger while they are here. Not. One. Finger.

Tell DH it's all on him to cater to them where necessary, to ensure money is collected if due, and to clean up after them if they don't clean up after themselves. And that he's not allowed to neglect his duties in regards to his other children and the household generally during that period of time either.

You said no. He said yes. Let him deal with ALL of it. And threaten to check into the AirBnb by yourself for the duration if he wants you to do more, especially with your cold.

Good luck!

And a food bill for 5 young men will be staggering. Staggering. It's amazing how much food and drink boys can consume! Make sure he collects the food money which they have gotten for the trip! It's a work trip!

If you can afford an Au Pair ,I doubt you are in financial dire straights.
What's a few dinners worth in terms of your DSS happiness?

I have two twenty somethings and a teen, always a couple of friends staying over at the weekend, last weekend DS gave us an hour's notice that he was bringing a couple of pals from University home for the night. All fine, we have a big house, lots of bathrooms and the budget to feed a few extras. I like to meet my kids' friends.

I would not be happy with this though. They are just seeking to use you as a purely money saving option. I wouldn't be happy on behalf of the au pair either. Mixed teenagers can be a minefield.