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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want the 4 strange teenagers in my home this weekend?

152 replies

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 15:52

DSS lives a long way away, but is visiting this weekend as the team he manages has a fixture in our town. He rang DH this morning to ask if 4 team members could stay with us too, as their accommodation has fallen through. I wasn't keen as I don't know any of them and don't really want 4 teenage boys in my home. I contacted a work colleague who lets her flat through Air BnB and she agreed a good rate. Sent the details to DSS. He has now texted to say can they all stay here anyway, as it would be cheaper. It's three nights. AIBU to say no?

OP posts:
MitzyLeFrouf · 04/03/2016 15:56

If it's just a one off I'd let them stay. Family means sometimes having to do put yourself out on other people's behalf.

(I hope that doesn't sound like a cheesy 'live, laugh.....' type poster)

coconutpie · 04/03/2016 15:56

YANBU. they can stay in Air BnB.

ThorsLady · 04/03/2016 15:57

What's the issue?
I think YABU, it's a short period & it's not like he's bringing ex-convicts to stay in your house.

ExitPursuedByABear · 04/03/2016 15:57

If you have the room then why not.

They might be good fun.

Oysterbabe · 04/03/2016 15:59

If it were me I'd let them stay.

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 15:59

Forgot to add that it's s semi professional team and they get money for accommodation - which they save of course by staying with us for free.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 04/03/2016 16:00

IT depends on whether you and your DP want dss to consider your home as his as well? It would be normal for a ds to ask to have his mates to stay for a sporting event IMO. Ok, he's not your ds but he is your dh's.

How teen age are they? 13/14 is very different from 18/19. I definitely wouldn't want to rent an air b n b to teens, who pays up if when they misbehave and cause damage?

Speak to your dh and explain you are worried so he will need to be around to supervise but it's a good chance to bond a bit and get to know dss and his friends.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 04/03/2016 16:00

I think yabu.

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 16:01

Sorry don't mean to drip feed. Also forgot to say that this has happened before, also last minute so I suspect there never was accommodation which 'fell through'. Also that £50 went missing. These are completely different boys this time though.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 04/03/2016 16:01

'Forgot to add that it's s semi professional team and they get money for accommodation - which they save of course by staying with us for free.'

For this reason alone, I'd say no and direct them to the AirBnB.

cinnamonorange · 04/03/2016 16:01

I couldn't cope with that, it would make me feel extremely uncomfortable. If it's too much for you, it's fine to say no, especially as you're able to offer an alternative. YANBU.

ThorsLady · 04/03/2016 16:01

I remember my mum was like this.
If I ever wanted friends over she would start waffling & moaning about "not wanting strangers in her house"
They weren't strangers to ME, they were my friends. It used to drive me absolutely barmy because we had plenty space for them to stay over.

Whathaveilost · 04/03/2016 16:02

From my point of view I would love it.

I'm always happy to have DS's mates round./to stay. It makes a happy home.

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 16:02

Matilda they are 18 and 19. I didn't put any pressure on my colleague, I told her their ages and that I can't vouch for them. I assume the usual Air BnB arrangements apply re damage costs.

OP posts:
coconutpie · 04/03/2016 16:03

Definitely not - they get an allowance for accommodation. You are not a hotel. I wouldn't be comfortable either. Especially after your latest drip feed about the £50.

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 16:04

DSS is welcome of course. They're not mates as such, he has a job managing the team. They're 19 he's 25.

OP posts:
Owllady · 04/03/2016 16:04

I think at 18 and 19 it would be better if they stay in the flat surely and I say that if it was your biological son and his mates! :o

nokidshere · 04/03/2016 16:06

I'd let them stay, most of my teenage sons friends are very entertaining and good to have around

expatinscotland · 04/03/2016 16:06

Nope. 'They get money for accommodation. We're not a hotel, and £50 went missing last time we accommodated your guests. So you'll need to make other arrangements.' 3 nights is too long, too.

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 16:07

Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that I am a evil stepmother. There isn't an issue with my relationship with DSS, I've been his DSM for 10 years and am in the place of a mother.

OP posts:
JT05 · 04/03/2016 16:08

When our DSs were older teenagers we often had their friends staying over at week ends. Living on the edge of a large city, the taxis would not go out to the villages on Saturday nights.

We never had any problems, we trusted our sons to have made good quality friendships.

MitzyLeFrouf · 04/03/2016 16:09

Well the dripfeed changes things. As they always do.

If you've had a bad experience before direct them to the Airbnb.

ImperialBlether · 04/03/2016 16:09

I think if their accommodation was paid for, then they should use that money and stay elsewhere. It'll be a hassle for you having four people staying; it would be completely different if it was just your step son.

Original poster
EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 04/03/2016 16:10

So majority would let them stay so far. Does it affect anything to know there are also 5 and 3 year old DCs in the home and 18 year old au pair? (And limited room, though they seem to think all 5 would somehow stay in one room).

OP posts:
ChipsandGuac · 04/03/2016 16:11

I'd let them stay but I'm quite used to having random teenagers hogging my sofa and eating all my food. I would hate for my kids to think their friends were unwelcome.

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