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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is BU- me or neighbour?

355 replies

SmashingBumpkins · 02/03/2016 10:09

We get on well with our neighbours. We're not 'friends' as such but will always stop for a chat etc.

Yesterday I saw the woman at the corner shop and we walked home together having a chat.
On the way, she mentioned that I woke them up that morning with my hairdryer and, subtly, asked if I could not use the hairdryer early in the AM. With the way she asked she wasn't really asking for a response or even a conversation about it, just kind of mentioning it in passing I guess in the hope I'll change my routine IYSWIM. So, I didn't respond there and then.

I got home at told DH. He was really miffed about it and said she was very U and I should have told her to bugger off.

This hairdryer usage doesn't happen every day- 3 or 4 weekdays I shower at the gym so don't use a hairdryer at home. On the weekend, I either don't bother drying it or I'm doing it at about 10am.
So a couple of work days a week I do dry my hair at home and it's about 6am when I'm doing it- I recognise that this is v early for some!

I can't really dry my hair elsewhere in the house as the other 2 bedrooms are occupied by DCs and in the living room is the dog who's terrified of the hairdryer and will bark like a mad thing causing more noise.
DH said I'm mad for even considering sneaking around the house in the morning using the hairdryer somewhere inconvenient for me just to avoid inconveniencing the neighbours.

So, AIBU to be using the hairdryer at 6am a couple of days a week? Or is she BU to mention it?

I should say it's quite a powerful hairdryer and we have quite thin walls (we can hear their phone ringing, for example).

OP posts:
lookingforafriend · 02/03/2016 20:19

It is called life......having to get on with it and carry on doing what ever needs to be done at whatever time this may be....I certainly wouldn't change my routine at any time of the day or night for any neighbour....

If she continues to complain then perhaps suggest that she sells the house and moves on to a detached one!! Surely no one is expected to not make any noise in their own home......unfortunately one of the downfalls of being attached to another dwelling.....

Good luck!

RockUnit · 02/03/2016 20:20

suggest that she sells the house and moves on to a detached one

Many people can't afford a detached house.

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/03/2016 20:22

It's as realistic as asking a neighbour to cease going about normal daily life at a reasonable, if early hour though Rocky.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 02/03/2016 21:09

These comments are so strange. Surely you are allowed to get ready in your own house in the morning, inc using the hair dryer? It really is a parallel universe here. And since when was 6am unusually early?? Even those who get up at 8 can surely appreciate that others get up at 5.30/6?

Grapejuicerocks · 02/03/2016 21:16

Neither you or NDN are being unreasonable but for the sake of neighbourly relations I'd be doing my dammnest to find a solution.

NeedACleverNN · 02/03/2016 21:26

Yabu.

I would not be impressed in being woken up because you want to dry your hair.

I won't blow dry my hair in the kitchen because of stray hairs flying everywhere. I know it's clean hair. I know no-one is going to die but I can't bear the thought of it. Same reasoning that DDog isn't allowed in the kitchen

Completely out of order

Summerwood1 · 02/03/2016 21:33

I would continue to use it,it's not like you're playing loud music at 6am.
I have to wash my hair every morning as its so greasy. I would certainly use it.

wavingnow · 02/03/2016 21:41

Haven't read every reply OP because as you have said o many replies but is it possible she was telling you about being able to hear clearly so not just your hairdryer?! Do you hear them?

BirdInTheRoom · 02/03/2016 21:46

But the fact is, it is loud enough that is disturbing the neighbour and waking her up. As someone said previously, would the 6am risers be happy to be woken up twice a week, every week, at 5am? If something wakes me in the early hours I really struggle to get back to sleep and spend the day completely knackered.

OP, dry you hair downstairs in the living room, while the dog is being walked so it can't bark at the noise. No major upheaval required and is considerate to your neighbour.

Loqo · 02/03/2016 21:56

I looked on The WHICH website and Parlux 385 Power Light came up as being one of the quietest hair dryers and also a 'best buy'

It would annoy me if you woke me up at 6 drying your hair. Sad hair dryers can be extremely loud. I think you would be mean not to try and do something to reduce the noise. I think trying a different hairdryer is a good start.

BTW There is a lot of rubbish advice on this thread about noise nuisances. It's not possible to know whether the OPs hair drying would or wouldn't be a statutory noise nuisance. There are lots of factor to consider.

WonderingAspie · 02/03/2016 21:58

YABU.

I love how people think 6am is a standard wake up time! No it bloody isn't. Just because you have to be up then, many people aren't and it is early. Have some consideration.

I have a long term illness which makes me exhausted. You wouldnt knowmit to loom at me though, invisible disability and all that. Being woke up early would make me ill for the day. I'd be fuming to be woken up by something like a neighbours loud hairdryer at 6am.

ArielisALiar · 02/03/2016 22:11

I think you are BU and very, very, very selfish.

I can't believe that you refuse to just blow dry your hair in the kitchen, and that you somehow think it is OK to wake your neighbor when there is a simple, easy solution that would leave her undisturbed and your hair dry (move to the kitchen!). Wow. Just wow...

GahBuggerit · 02/03/2016 22:19

i dry my ridiculously long hair in the kitchen. comb hair in bathroom to get rid of strays, product on in bathroom, take dryer to kitchen, dry, put dryer back. never had a stray hair found yet. simple solution.

mommy2ash · 02/03/2016 22:31

Your neighbour has raised an issue and you are saying no to every reasonable thing others have suggested on how to reduce the noise and eliminate conflict with the neighbour. What is the point in posting then? If you wouldn't wake up your own family or inconvenience the dog to dry your hair you shouldn't be waking the neighbours

Pipbin · 02/03/2016 22:35

I am against the far wall already (i.e. not the one joined on to theirs)

If they can hear your hair dryer from the other side of the house what else can they hear?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 02/03/2016 22:53

Last time I used a hairdryer (it was a babyliss one and blue) I threw it away because it was louder than my washing machine when it was doing a fast spin.

Even my friends son (ASD) who had a fixation with hairdryer noise thought it was shockingly noisy so I put it in the bin.

Kanga59 · 02/03/2016 23:01

stop drying your hair at 6 am and have rampous sex instead. manufacture bumping into her at the shops again and let us know what she says now.

yanbu btw

Pipbin · 02/03/2016 23:31

I am extremely noise phobic after having had a noisy and violent neighbour.

I cannot stand unnecessary noise which in my mind is loud music, overly loud TVs, shouting at stupid o'clock.

For a hairdryer to annoy me it would have to be extremely loud and at 3am.

If they can hear your hairdryer enough to mention it, when they haven't been disturbed by you and you DH talking, flushing the loo, talking to the dog etc then I think your hairdryer is too loud.

Tabsicle · 02/03/2016 23:32

I'm sort of on the fence about this. On one hand, yeah, noise is part of living pressed up against people.

On the other hand, I think 6 am is early. It definitely isn't what I'd consider a normal time to go tromping around. I also think it's a quid pro quo thing. If I politely mentioned to my neighbour that their 6 am hairdryer was waking me up and they basically said "suck it up" I'd be much less inclined to go out of my way for them and worry about my 11.30 pm Game of Thrones boxset marathon. Not deliberately. I'd just not be motivated to be considerate either. But I don't know what kind of relationship you want with your neighbours.

exLtEveDallas · 03/03/2016 06:20

Good morning. I have just woken up to the buzz buzz buzz of my alarm. Remembering this thread, it strikes me that my neighbour must be able to hear my alarm so it probably wakes him up too.

There is no other bedroom option, and I need to get up at this time. Luckily I usually wake up naturally before 6am, so the alarm only goes off once or twice a week.

What on earth would I do if my neighbour complained?

AugustaFinkNottle · 03/03/2016 06:26

Get a quieter alarm, Eve? I woke at 5.30 to the light coming on on my alarm, and if it goes off it makes a gentle twittering noise.

exLtEveDallas · 03/03/2016 06:33

It probably wouldn't wake me Augusta. After years of training myself to sleep with the noise of generators/people/gunfire etc I need a 'good' alarm to actually get me up. Hmm.

CaptainWarbeck · 03/03/2016 06:58

Sometimes I think MN is ridiculous.

You live next door to someone with thin walls. Yes, don't go whacking in nails or blasting loud music at 6am or other unnecessary things, but by all means get ready for work and dry your hair.

WaxyBean · 03/03/2016 06:59

I dry my hair around 5.45 the 3 days I work. Neighbours have never said anything and I wouldn't stop if they did. My kids sleep through it and I'm not changing my routine on that basis.

WeAllHaveWings · 03/03/2016 07:43

I'm blow drying hair that early as I'm out of the house for 6:30am. DH takes the dog on her run whilst I have breakfast, prepare everyone's lunch, check emails etc. He gets back about 6:20am and I head out about 10 minutes later.

I assume your dh is out with the dog for a least 20 mins, dry your hair in living room while the dog is out. Easiest solution.