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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have taken toddler in quiet carriage

164 replies

MamaAwayOnBusiness · 28/02/2016 21:22

Took my DS(2) to London this weekend and after habit (I usually travel this line for work) booked the quiet coach. I deliberately chose his nap time for the journey and he did sleep all the way. But I see another thread now people advising OP to book quiet coach if she wanted to avoid kids and I realise I might have made a commuter faux pas had my boy not been asleep. I wouldn't have been able to move with a pushchair, two bags and the whole shebang. I thought quiet coach meant no phones, no music and no loud conversation, a usual 2yo heckling about seeing trains, cows and boats would have been ok. WIBU?

OP posts:
cruikshank · 05/03/2016 17:13

'If you’re in the quiet coach, the idea is to keep the noise down. Mobile calls and noise from electronic devices are strictly forbidden (now is not the time to review your ringtone collection), and conversations should be conducted quietly.'

And TheTrainLine

'Quiet Coach: If you choose a seat in this coach you are asked to not use your mobile phone, use electrical equipment in silent mode, ensure music cannot be heard by other passengers, and generally to keep noise levels to a minimum.' (my bold for clarity/the hard of thinking)

I must be really hard of thinking, because nowhere in all of that does it say that children are not allowed in the quiet coach.

Is there some kind of subliminal messaging thing going on here? Or perhaps they are saying the children are banned, but saying it really really quietly.

Lweji · 05/03/2016 17:20

It's also much better to have a child sleeping because, hopefully, there won't be people making noise and waking them up.

2rebecca · 05/03/2016 17:27

I travel on the train alot.
I accept sometimes there isn't another carriage free but usually in my experience the quiet carriage is the most popular carriage so getting booked on it as a last resort is uncommon.

Gabilan · 05/03/2016 17:56

I don't have a problem with toddler chatter in quiet carriages - and ime many parents remove them if that turns into ear splitting screaming.

I have a massive problem with people having phone conversations in quiet carriages. Fucking stop it. One-way conversations are the hardest to filter out and mobiles are explicitly banned.

angelos02 · 05/03/2016 18:18

I don't care what age you are, as long as I can't hear you. Keyword: quiet. It really isn't rocket science.

bigbuttons · 05/03/2016 18:21

I don't want to listen to other kids prattle on. YABU.

houseeveryweekend · 05/03/2016 18:26

Id take my LO in the quiet carriage if it were a Friday evening and the train was full of drunk people shouting as they sometimes are!!
Id also take my LO to the quiet carriage if they were wanting to sleep and the train was crowded yes! So I don't think you are being unreasonable.
I wouldn't just take my LO in the quiet carriage if he was wide awake and there was space elsewhere that wasn't full of rowdy drunks tho.

Foginthehills · 05/03/2016 18:39

Answering your phone is fine

No it's really not if you're in the Quiet Coach. Clearly not.

The ring tone is very annoying, and for some reason, people usually speak more loudly on a mobile, than face to face.

Foginthehills · 05/03/2016 18:40

I have a massive problem with people having phone conversations in quiet carriages. Fucking stop it. One-way conversations are the hardest to filter out and mobiles are explicitly banned

Yes yes yes!

CornishDoll82 · 05/03/2016 23:19

bigbuttons you're a child yourself yes? Your sentence implies it. As does your attitude.

Monkey533 · 05/03/2016 23:37

One-way conversations are the hardest to filter out
Yes! I read a study once where they showed that if the person on the mobile was speaking in another language, it didn't annoy people. I love that. It implies that what's annoying about the one-way conversation is our innate nosiness. :)

tobysmum77 · 06/03/2016 08:20

Quiet carriages are quite simply hell though. The hardest thing imo to filter out are the tuts and bad feeling when someone answers their phone. The other carriages are no noisier (they arent a constant phone chatter as generally the signal doesn't work well enough, plus most people want privacy for calls) but people are more relaxed and accept they have to share the carriage with others.

It seems to me the quiet carriage is a bit like a British rail equivalent of parent and child parking spaces. Its a well intentioned idea that doesn't entirely work.

Foginthehills · 06/03/2016 08:52

the tuts and bad feeling when someone answers their phone Turn off your phone or make it completely silent.

It's really not so difficult.

Its a well intentioned idea that doesn't entirely work Because some arses think that the regulations don't apply to them.

Gabilan · 06/03/2016 08:59

I don't tut. I say "this is the quiet carriage, that means no mobile calls." People could text with the phone on silent but for some reason think it's ok because they're special and it's only one call. Just stick to the rules. Why is this difficult?

tobysmum77 · 06/03/2016 09:02

Yeah exactly my point I can't stand it Grin

I'd never have a phone conversation on the train or sit in the quiet carriage.....

Foginthehills · 06/03/2016 09:12

I travel in hope Smile When the Quiet Coach is quiet, and the sun is shining through the windows, and we're travelling north, oh then it's bliss. Grin

tobysmum77 · 06/03/2016 09:48

One day it will happen Grin

theclick · 06/03/2016 09:58

What? You thought he quiet carriage didn't include a 2yo yapping on about trains, however cute they are?

YABU. Majorly. So much so I would expect people would complain. I realise he's only a sweet little kid but I seriously doubt that would go down well. Sorry!

MeolsCop · 06/03/2016 10:01

I admit to not having RTFT, so may be repeating previous advice, but if you book on a Virgin train through their website, you CAN now choose to change your seat, airline-style. I did so just last week.

FWIW, I usually travel in the Quiet Coach, and I've had some nightmare journeys with people who do not seem to understand the very, very simple rules - loud phone conversations, conducting business meetings at top volume. Children - fine if they're quiet. The clue's in the name...

2rebecca · 06/03/2016 10:22

I disagree with people who say answering your phone at all is unreasonable in the quiet carriage. I don't mind people answering it but if they're going to just chat or if the conversation is longer than a minute they get up and go elsewhere. Many people will have people they are meeting at the other end. A quick 30 seconds discussing arrangements doesn't bother me and it's probably less disruptive to have them answer the phone where they are quickly than get up and then come back particularly if they're by a window.
5 minutes loudly discussing last night's party which could easily wait until they aren't on the train or a long discussion about work matters is different.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 06/03/2016 10:54

Most Quiet Coaches say no mobile phones, no music anyone else can hear, and ask passengers to keep noise to a minimum.

I am still a bit shock at why this is so resented. Don't travel in the Quiet Coach if it's too difficult for you to observe these simple requests.

But then I've pointed out politely to other passengers that it's the Quiet Zone and been threatened with violence. Some people are selfish

Nobody on this thread not even once has said it's unreasonable to not follow those rules.

The only thing people are discussing is if it's acceptable to have children in that section of the train. Not children making unreasonable noise, just children full stop.

Fwiw. If I travel on the train with two of my children I actively book the quiet coach where possible first class. In that section of the train they are usually a lot quieter than most of the adults,it's easier to avoid anybody else coming into their space and they are far less likely to experance any gadget noise that could potentially cause a risk to them and others.

I always rearange this in advance and on each occasion it has been made clear they are children and not one company has ever had an issue with it. And we have never even had so much as one dirty look from another passenger.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 06/03/2016 10:59

I disagree with people who say answering your phone at all is unreasonable in the quiet carriage.

It's unreasonable because it is expressly stipulated that there should be no mobile phones. I appreciate that you don't find that disruptive but I'm sure others do and clearly there are enough who do that it makes commercial sense for the companies to run a quiet carriage. Even in a normal carriage I'd take the phone into the hallway and keep it on silent.

Foginthehills · 06/03/2016 10:59

but if you book on a Virgin train through their website, you CAN now choose to change your seat, airline-style

Oh that's great to know. It's been available on CrossCountry for several years. So there's no excuse to say "We couldn't help booking our 16 5 year olds into the Quiet Coach so you'll have to put up with the noise."

Although CrossCountry awful ToC, I avoid as far as possible have got rid of the Quiet Coaches because they reckoned that their staff were put into danger trying to enforce the rules. Because of arse passengers.

Foginthehills · 06/03/2016 11:01

The only thing people are discussing is if it's acceptable to have children in that section of the train. Not children making unreasonable noise, just children full stop

I didn't read it like that NeedsaSock - I read it as:

Quiet Coach asks passengers to keep noise to a minimum
If you're not sure you can keep your child quiet, go elsewhere.

I've travelled with older children in the Quiet Coach, and just made sure we all had books and downloaded stuff on iPads, and headphones.

dudsville · 06/03/2016 11:04

You are fine so long as you were willing to move to another carriage if your child started up.