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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have taken toddler in quiet carriage

164 replies

MamaAwayOnBusiness · 28/02/2016 21:22

Took my DS(2) to London this weekend and after habit (I usually travel this line for work) booked the quiet coach. I deliberately chose his nap time for the journey and he did sleep all the way. But I see another thread now people advising OP to book quiet coach if she wanted to avoid kids and I realise I might have made a commuter faux pas had my boy not been asleep. I wouldn't have been able to move with a pushchair, two bags and the whole shebang. I thought quiet coach meant no phones, no music and no loud conversation, a usual 2yo heckling about seeing trains, cows and boats would have been ok. WIBU?

OP posts:
SocksRock · 04/03/2016 21:51

I would never ever in a million years take my children in the quiet coach on purpose. Those long journeys when this has happened have been the precise opposite of relaxing and enjoyable, which is how I find journeys when we have appropriate seats. Which is why I train rather than drive.

cruikshank · 04/03/2016 21:55

That's what I understood it to mean as well, CornishDoll - no mobiles or electronic devices. Which, given that that's what it says in the carriage itself, is a reasonable assumption to make. If the signs were to also say 'no children' then I would get that that was another one of the rules of the quiet carriage, but they don't.

Dollymixtureyumyum · 04/03/2016 21:56

I agree I can't think of many parents who would take there kids in the quiet carriage on purpose oddsocks. Most would without a doubt choose to not go in it if they could.

Foginthehills · 04/03/2016 21:56

We're not talking about child-free carriages. Don't be silly.

We're talking about a reasonable expectation of getting what we booked. And the OP made an error, by deliberately booking the Quiet Coach with a toddler.

I agree, it's rubbish for the parents if you're booked into the Quiet Coach against your wishes,l. But I think that it's important to recognise that it's equally rubbush for those who CHOSE the Quiet Coach and are faced with noise or rowdy behaviour from passengers of all ages Grin

cruikshank · 04/03/2016 22:00

Hang on a minute, I thought you lot were saying that children shouldn't be allowed onto the quiet carriage. So that would be a child-free carriage wouldn't it?

Greengager · 04/03/2016 22:01

When the carriage says 'no children' I will happily remove mine. Ours isn't the kind of train where you can't pre book either so everyone just sits where they can. It's often very difficult to find three seats together. I would think twice about sitting thee if they were hyped up and tired but just sitting colouring in and chatting occasionally. No.

Dollymixtureyumyum · 04/03/2016 22:01

In fact the first time I travelled by train with my DS they had doubled booked our seats so we got moved to the quiet carriage in FIRST CLASS. Did we get some looks but there was nothing we could do about it. They moved us I think as we only had one child whereas the other couple had two. That was a fun journey!!!! Hmm
As it happened DS behaved perfectly and slept for most of the time but I was on edge for the whole journey.

SocksRock · 04/03/2016 22:03

Well I want a reasonable expectation of not getting abuse from other passengers over something I have no control over.

I would like a reasonable expectation that the train company wouldn't act like utter pillocks when I tried to resolve this in advance to let others have what they booked.

And I would like a reasonable expectation that the conductor might actually help sort this out so I can enjoy my journey along with everyone else.

Instead, I was stressed and upset after being told to move and explaining that I couldn't as there was nowhere to go.

My children are not outrageously noisy and certainly not rowdy. But they are not silent.

madmother1 · 04/03/2016 22:08

I sat in a quiet coach for a journey of 2 hours. The Spanish ladies behind me talked non stop and quote loudly!!!! The worse thing is, I couldn't even understand them. Confused

Andrewofgg · 05/03/2016 12:40

CornishDoll82 Not just no mobile phones (and if someone phones you, get up and stand between the carriages, please) but also no electric toys unless they are on silent and remain on silent. Tbh the odd short call at a quiet volume is less annoying than the beep-beep-beep-kerpow of the electronic babysitter.

Foginthehills · 05/03/2016 13:39

Most Quiet Coaches say no mobile phones, no music anyone else can hear, and ask passengers to keep noise to a minimum.

I am still a bit Shock at why this is so resented. Don't travel in the Quiet Coach if it's too difficult for you to observe these simple requests.

But then I've pointed out politely to other passengers that it's the Quiet Zone and been threatened with violence. Some people are selfish arses.

Lweji · 05/03/2016 13:43

I'd think the quiet carriage is great for children. The parent can point at the sign and threaten with the conductor.

Foginthehills · 05/03/2016 13:54

Grin Grin Lweji

DangerMouth · 05/03/2016 14:02

This thread Shock

As someone else has pointed out its not 'child-free' carriages. It's no loud music or mobile phones.

If other people's noise bothers you get an ipod.

Andrewofgg · 05/03/2016 14:02

How about an airline where children travel Cargo Class?

Foginthehills · 05/03/2016 14:11

If other people's noise bothers you get an ipod

It's the Quiet Coach! What is so difficult to understand about that? Would someone please explain why the simple requirements no mobile phones, no music or other electronic noise audible to others, and keep other noise to a minimum is so difficult?

jaffajiffy · 05/03/2016 14:11

I once had tickets for the quiet coach despite not booking them and checked with the guard as I wanted him to reseat us if I was going to get grief for my chatty toddler. He assured me it was fine and talking was within the guidelines. I wouldn't choose the quiet carriage though in case not everyone interpreted the guidelines in the same way

OnlyLovers · 05/03/2016 14:55

Quiet coach means no mobile phones

It's no loud music or mobile phones.

That's what I understood it to mean... no mobiles or electronic devices.

FFS.

Here's what Virgin say about it:

'If you’re in the quiet coach, the idea is to keep the noise down. Mobile calls and noise from electronic devices are strictly forbidden (now is not the time to review your ringtone collection), and conversations should be conducted quietly.'

And TheTrainLine

'Quiet Coach: If you choose a seat in this coach you are asked to not use your mobile phone, use electrical equipment in silent mode, ensure music cannot be heard by other passengers, and generally to keep noise levels to a minimum.' (my bold for clarity/the hard of thinking)

Is that actually that difficult to comprehend?

Foginthehills · 05/03/2016 15:08

Just what I've been wondering OnlyLovers - but there seems to be such resentment towards other passengers' choices to want quiet.

CornishDoll82 · 05/03/2016 16:00

The signs on the actual coaches just specify no music or electronic devices

Anyway, unless a child is shouting or crying then surely that's a normal conversational level?

DangerMouth · 05/03/2016 16:03

Or resentment against [whispers] other people making some noise.

If the only seats available were in the quiet carriage l would take them and encourage my dc to be considerate.

IoraRua · 05/03/2016 16:03

Toddlers aren't well known for being able to conduct quiet conversations. They are, however, very good at throwing loud tantrums..

I wouldn't bring a young child on a quiet coach.

2rebecca · 05/03/2016 16:04

For me quiet means occasional quiet conversation only. Answering your phone is fine but if you're going to have a conversation for more than a minute or like to yell in to your phone in a larger voice than you'd use if they were next to you you get up and leave the carriage.
Small children are very prone to wittering on endlessly about nothing in particular and I would never have taken mine to a quiet carriage.
Groups of friends who want to chat for the journey should sit elsewhere too.
I don't expect silence but I do expect people to have chosen the quiet carriage because they want to read a book or do some studying or work in peace.
There are plenty of other carriages.

pookamoo · 05/03/2016 16:07

I once booked train tickets to take the children's group I volunteer with on a trip.
16 children and 4 adults.
When the train arrived, we found out we'd been allocated the quiet coach!
Lots of tutting, but we hadn't known it would be the quiet coach. No room for us elsewhere on the train, either!

DangerMouth · 05/03/2016 16:11

2rebecca do you travel on public transport much? Sometimes there aren't any other carriages free and as l said I'd get on a quiet carriage with dc if there wasn't another option. No way would l wait for the next train!