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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have taken toddler in quiet carriage

164 replies

MamaAwayOnBusiness · 28/02/2016 21:22

Took my DS(2) to London this weekend and after habit (I usually travel this line for work) booked the quiet coach. I deliberately chose his nap time for the journey and he did sleep all the way. But I see another thread now people advising OP to book quiet coach if she wanted to avoid kids and I realise I might have made a commuter faux pas had my boy not been asleep. I wouldn't have been able to move with a pushchair, two bags and the whole shebang. I thought quiet coach meant no phones, no music and no loud conversation, a usual 2yo heckling about seeing trains, cows and boats would have been ok. WIBU?

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 29/02/2016 12:13

Mine weren't generally all that interested in what was going past the window Katharina, I had to carry bag loads of toys to keep them from getting bored! But talking isn't banned in quiet carriages, so even if they did want to point out every new animal, so long as they aren't loud, it should be fine. There are always conversations going on in the quiet carriages I've travelled in, I've learnt quite a lot about complete strangers' love lives, sport obsessions and work problems.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/02/2016 12:28

Yes, sorry, YWBU.

I always travel in the quiet carriages unless I'm travelling with my 3yo, in which case absolutely not. There is no guarantee that the child will be quiet (and in my case, an almost 100% guarantee that he won't!) so it would just add to the stress of my own journey, never mind everyone else in the quiet carriage!

gingercat12 · 29/02/2016 12:37

I would not take a small child to a quiet coach on purpose.

However, Crosscountry always allocates us seats in the quiet coach with DS who is 7. I wish they did not, but there is nothing I can do. Mind you, he is always annoyed by the noisy Friday evening adult travellers and loudly complains about them.

OnlyLovers · 29/02/2016 12:41

YABU. As well as music and yelling into phones, 'loud conversation' is explicitly not allowed, and while toddler noise cannot always be described as conversation, it is certainly often loud.

Obs2016 · 29/02/2016 12:52

YABU
You were lucky your child slept. I expect quiet in the quiet coach. That means phone calls, conversations, children, all sorts of noise.

Ubik1 · 29/02/2016 19:25

It's public transport not a sensory deprivation tank! If you want silence, drive or hire a private jet. There is nothing wrong with taking a toddler to the quiet coach. If they start screaming you take them out - although I would extend that courtesy to a carriage of passengers whether in quiet coach or not.

IonaNE · 29/02/2016 19:34

YABU. In a quiet coach I expect quiet.

LauraMipsum · 29/02/2016 19:39

I would love a sensory deprivation tank coach. Or failing that a children's coach.

Pre-DD I always booked the quiet coach. The rest of the train is just too intrusive and noisy and aaarggghhh (AS issues). Now I have a toddler I can't go in the quiet carriage any more.

Janeymoo50 · 29/02/2016 19:43

Hmm, difficult to say really because he slept (bless) the whole time. I took my toddler niece once all the way from Oxford to Cardiff, hardly made a peep, played quietly, snuggled with a book and apart from some general chit chat was not noisy. But some can wail and scream the whole way so really it depends on the child (and their parents knowing their mood/behaviour). Plus, some ignorant people ignore the no phone rule anyway and I'd rather a chatty, happy toddler than some numpty sharing their life story on their mobile for all to hear.

FanDabbyFloozy · 29/02/2016 19:46

No issue with small children in quiet carriages - bigger problem with adults bellowing on phones by a long way!

SparklesandBangs · 29/02/2016 19:58

DD is at uni at the other end of the country, a restful 3.30 hour train ride away, we usually book the quiet carriage especially if only 1 person is travelling, rarely is it silent. The other week a group of 4 older people got on and had a four seat with table, they proceeded to unpack their lunch and have a picnic, with the accompanying chatter.
Another person was on their phone, if I am the passenger I may say something if I can hear them over my headphones, DD would never say anything. If you were in my carriage and your DC was giving a running commentary of what they could see or reading out loud, I would think it was 'cute' for about 10 minutes then I would get annoyed.
The carriage is still generally much quieter than the rest of the train.
However if I was travelling with my young nieces and nephews I would not be booking the quiet carriage, the stress of keeping them quiet would just be too much.

CerseiHeartsJaime4ever · 29/02/2016 20:28

YABU. You were lucky DC slept, if not I am pretty sure you'd have had some stern looks of utter disdain from fellow passengers.

Toddlers = loud conversation.

OnlyLovers · 01/03/2016 10:34

There isn't an age restriction on "quiet" coaches. The rules for them are no phones, no loud music, use headphones.

the guidelines just refer to phones, use of headphones etc.

No, really, people on here aren't making this up when we say: the guidelines explicitly refer to loud conversations too. The age of the people conversing is irrelevant.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 01/03/2016 10:39

I'm on the fence. Quiet coach means no phones, no music and no loud groups. Quiet conversations etc are fine. I've taken my older children in the quiet coach and we play card games or they sit on screens. However, toddlers often can't modulate their voices so easily and would be heard above most general background noise I think.

HotNatured · 01/03/2016 15:50

Toddlers, generally, are the antithesis of quiet. You were fortunate that yours slept for the journey, otherwise an unequivocal YABU.

AndNowItsSeven · 01/03/2016 15:53

Yanbu a quiet coach means no phones iPads etc does not mean no children. That would be discriminatory and illegal.

scribblegirl · 01/03/2016 15:58

I was on a commuter train with my friend a few years ago - train departure time was about 7.45am. We were having a catch up in the carriage, low voices, absolutely nothing loud. A woman asked us to be quiet as we were in the quiet carriage so we amusingly went down to whispers. She then told us to stop talking because of being the quiet carriage. We were slightly non-plussed....

I wouldn't be very happy if there was a toddler in the quiet carriage though as if I book it, it's usually so I can sleep on a long journey. I wouldn't do it again if I were you.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 01/03/2016 16:18

scribble I'd have told her to fuck off tbh. The rules on what is not allowed in a quiet carriage are usually displayed on notices within the carriage. Talking is not excluded on any quiet carriage i've ever been in. I agree with a PP, it's not a sensory deprivation tank or a sleeping area.

angelos02 · 01/03/2016 16:19

I'm sure I read somewhere that the quiet carriage should be treated as a library. eg, quiet chatter but that is all. You shouldn't be able to hear the people around you at all.

Yoksha · 01/03/2016 16:55

I was travelling into Waterloo stn. last monday. Booked into quiet coach. It was a joke. Most passenger's just got on with loud chattering, loud texting ( beeping accompanied keypad usage ) and calls. Kids laughing loudly. What's the point I thought as I resigned myself to quiet madness. Grin

MaidOfStars · 01/03/2016 16:58

I hate even chatter in the quiet carriage. If I happen to be in one where there's lots of noise, I move to a regular carriage (if possible). I seem to get less wound up by it then.

LifeofI · 01/03/2016 17:22

He was asleep i dont see the issue?
If he woke up you could of moved

LifeofI · 01/03/2016 17:24

lol scribble, I once had a lady ask me to turn my phone off because it was in the quiet carriage, my ring tone wasnt even loud and i wasnt answering the phone.
Sometimes you cannot please people.

SocksRock · 01/03/2016 17:32

I really wish train companies would allow you to specifically request NOT to be in the quiet coach. You can ask to be, but you can't ask not to be. I was allocated 4 seats for me and my children in the quiet coach and Virgin refused to move the seats when I phoned up to check. As it was a busy train I had no choice but to take my booked seats with a 7yo, 4yo and 1yo. Obviously there were people really cross about this, but I had no choice. I couldn't move us all as there were no other locations where 4 seats were together, not to mention hoiking our luggage and buggy up and down the train. I asked the conductor to help and he just shrugged. So we stayed. And we werent' shouting, but I was on a 6 hour journey so I had to keep them entertained somehow.

waterrat · 01/03/2016 17:37

ooh this winds me up - children are FINE in the quiet carriage!!! its for people who dont want to have bloody phone conversations all around them. there is NOTHING WRONG With a bit of kids chatter. Yes that chatter should be low key - as adult conversation is low key. But toddlers talking (ie. not screaming) is FINE>

what a fricking miserable horrible kid unfriendly country we live in.

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