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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have taken toddler in quiet carriage

164 replies

MamaAwayOnBusiness · 28/02/2016 21:22

Took my DS(2) to London this weekend and after habit (I usually travel this line for work) booked the quiet coach. I deliberately chose his nap time for the journey and he did sleep all the way. But I see another thread now people advising OP to book quiet coach if she wanted to avoid kids and I realise I might have made a commuter faux pas had my boy not been asleep. I wouldn't have been able to move with a pushchair, two bags and the whole shebang. I thought quiet coach meant no phones, no music and no loud conversation, a usual 2yo heckling about seeing trains, cows and boats would have been ok. WIBU?

OP posts:

Lweji · 28/02/2016 22:04

Or...
You'd be able to
Not
Your

NeuNewNouveau · 28/02/2016 22:06

Yes I'm afraid I would be pissed off to find an awake and chatty toddler in a quiet carriage. I would have purposefully booked it to get away from loud people and kids.

228agreenend · 28/02/2016 22:08

Just looked on a rail site. It says that you shouldn't use mobile phones, play music etc in the quiet carriage, and generally keep noise to a minimal.

It didn't say it's a child-free carriage and it doesn't say you have to be completely silent. I think what you did is perfectly fine, and providing your child doesn't shout and get over excited, but talks at a reasonable level, then that's perfectly fine.

Ubik1 · 28/02/2016 22:10

Yes it's fine to take your toddler in the quiet carriage. I take my three in there a lot.

Just no mobile phone convos and use headphones.

Honestly - it's public transport not church and there will always be some noise.

specialsubject · 28/02/2016 22:10

I love the quiet coach - it is also often the empty coach because so few can cope without screaming down their mobiles.

quiet - no phones, no music audible to others, and only low and intermittent conversation. No age limit as long as this can be adhered to. Running commentary from any age isn't the idea.

DistanceCall · 28/02/2016 22:24

YABU. The quiet coach is meant for people who want to avoid noise. Toddlers are not usually quiet.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/02/2016 22:26

Quiet carriage is for quiet. Toddlers ain't quiet.

yumyumpoppycat · 28/02/2016 22:34

Oooh divisive! I guess it actually made sense in your case to book the quiet coach so he could sleep. There is no way on earth I would have booked the quiet coach for any of mine when they were 2 years old though as they just like to chat too much, and at that age they can't quietly read a book to themselves or stare out of the window etc, even colouring in will probably involve pens being dropped and dialogue. YWNBU but it is probably reasonable not to book the quiet coach with children unless they are the very grown up and quiet read a book types.

Xmasbaby11 · 28/02/2016 22:35

Your 2yo sounds like a dream! Neither of mine would have been so compliant!

No, I wouldn't risk taking a toddler into a quiet carriage, just because mine were very very rarely quiet.

NotCitrus · 28/02/2016 22:37

Toddler chat would be fine, but toddler kicking off wouldn't be - so I'd avoid it. And many toddlers don't have a quiet chat setting!

We had problems at work when for a while the travel system automatically booked everyone into the quiet coach, leading to lots of people having meetings and being asked to shush, and others having to face either angry travellers if they answered their phone every few minutes or angry bosses if they didn't...

MLGs · 28/02/2016 23:40

If you were confident he would sleep then I thin YANBU. Quite a good idea as then he won't be as likely to be woken up.

If you thought he might be awake and make noise then ywbu but that wasn't the case.

DeltaSunrise · 29/02/2016 00:06

YANBU

There isn't an age restriction on "quiet" coaches. The rules for them are no phones, no loud music, use headphones.

Of course it's fine to take a toddler in the quiet coach as long as they're not screaming or running around but they shouldn't be doing that on any part of the train.

VimFuego101 · 29/02/2016 00:10

No issue with a sleeping child, but a toddler chattering in the quiet carriage would annoy me.

Foginthehills · 29/02/2016 06:44

eyebrowse you say your children didn't want to watch a DVD in the Quiet Carriage. But surely, they always use headphones when they're on a train or a bus, in public? Don't they?

Because Quiet Carriage or not, it's appalling manners not to use headphones in public when watching DVD or listening to music.

tobysmum77 · 29/02/2016 09:22

OP don't worry about it, seriously. The quiet carriage is rarely quieter than any other ime. Commuters don't particularly want to sit next to a toddler in any carriage but small children exist and need to travel so its tough really.

tobysmum77 · 29/02/2016 09:24

Because Quiet Carriage or not, it's appalling manners not to use headphones in public when watching DVD or listening to music.

Well quite the whole thing is an absolute white elephant.

Postchildrenpregranny · 29/02/2016 09:30

It's the one sided conversations you can hear when people are on their phones that annoy me . Plus some people seem to speak really loudly on the phone-or just really loudly.
A toddler having a quiet chat with a parent would probably have amused me .But then I wouldn't have been trying to work .
Agree with previous poster A very loud and unruly child or adult in any carriage would annoy me.

blueturtle6 · 29/02/2016 10:52

Don't stress about it, I've booked the quiet coach and had to put up with mobiles, chatter and dvds playing, all more annoying than a toddler. Maybe virgin should have a children's coach (with wider aisles and room for pushchairs)

NNalreadyinuse · 29/02/2016 11:01

Yanbu from me. It's public transport, the clue is in the name. People cannot expect silence. Children are part of society and their normal chatter shouldn't be banned from public spaces. If they were badly behaved, I would expect any parent to deal with that, wherever they are.
I associate quiet carriages as places where people shouldn't have loud phone conversations or play music or have loud shouty conversations. Normal human noise is okay though.

yorkshapudding · 29/02/2016 11:18

Technically, you weren't doing anything wrong as the quiet carraige doesn't have an age limit and the guidelines just refer to phones, use of headphones etc. I personally wouldn't though as I know a lot of people use the quiet carriage to get on with some work and I'd imagine a toddler's incessant chatter would be very distracting.

BoomBoomsCousin · 29/02/2016 11:30

If you reasonably anticipate they your children will be noisy, e.g. if they screech a lot or can't sit still or won't moderate their voices when asked, then it's probably not the best place to book. But I've taken my kids in quiet carriages quite a bit since the line I travel on most frequently often allocates seats in that carriage on booking even if the quiet carriage wasn't requested. In all that time they have never been the loudest people in the carriage. The rules for that train company state no phone calls or noise from electronic devises and quiet conversations. Which my kids are reasonably good at when reminded.

Lots of people in our culture seem to find children's voices grating even when the volume is no different from an adult's, but that's not your child's fault and there's no reason you and your children should be unable to take advantage of quiet carriages in the same way as adults without kids can.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/02/2016 11:31

as he slept, YANBU at all. chill OP!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 29/02/2016 11:32

I never connected the Quiet Coach with a certain age range, it doesn't say Minors not allowed and I thought it was about phone usage or loud conversations.

KatharinaRosalie · 29/02/2016 12:04

Wait, so some of you have 2-year olds that would not be going 'Mama, look, COW! COW! Mama! LOOOOOK!' the whole time of the trainride and could actually be taken into the quiet carriage?

Where have I gone wrong..

Lj8893 · 29/02/2016 12:12

katharina my 2 year old would be worse than that

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