Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...Or are our friends?

403 replies

flyfree1394 · 28/02/2016 10:12

Have three DDs aged 14, 12 and 9.

Very good friends announced their engagement a few months ago and invited the DDs to be flower girls - all three delighted.

Have now received formal invitation.

It says on it that no child under 10 can attend. DD3 is 9, will still be 9 at the time of the wedding.

Contacted friends to check that DD3 was still a flower girl.

Basically they want her there for the ceremony, pictures etc, but she won't be allowed to come to the reception/party afterwards. In short DD3 is expected to sit through a long ceremony, pose for pictures, look like a little angel, etc, then watch her sisters go to a fun party that she can't attend. We are expected to sort out childcare in a place that is miles from our home.

AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous?

OP posts:
AmpleRaspberries · 28/02/2016 21:52

Tout I think you need to read the thread again. Op has confirmed she has spoken to bride and that youngest dd is definitely not invited. Bride's reason was she couldn't find a caterer for under 10s. Op dh has spoken to groom and he has also confirmed that the bride specifically wanted a cut off of 10 and not 5 as he suggested. OP's children are the only children invited so the cut off can only apply to them.

Alohamora · 28/02/2016 21:55

Tout read the thread! OP has said that the bride has made it very clear she only really wanted DD's 1&2 at the wedding and only asked DD3 because 'she had to'.

Fontella · 28/02/2016 21:55

If im wrong, happy to be flamed.

OP DID contact the bride who confirmed that she wanted the 10 year old to leave after the service and not attend the reception.

OP subsequently rang the friend again, who again confirmed that the 10 year old was not welcome at the party.

OP's H also then contacted the groom who also confirmed that the 10 year old was not welcome at the reception.

If you read all '300 odd' posts which part of that did you miss?

Cressandra · 28/02/2016 21:55

Tout I won't flame you but you are wrong. I think you must have missed OP's updates on what happened when she DID pick up the phone.

ihateminecraft · 28/02/2016 21:56

"Pick up the 'phone o your friend OP, rather than get all dramad up."

Tour, she did! Bridezilla then confirmed her bizarre decision!

Fontella · 28/02/2016 21:57

10 year old?

I meant of course 'not quite 10 year old'.

Grin
CaptainCrunch · 28/02/2016 21:57

I love how you've self styled as "the voice of sensibility" and then gone on to make a spectacularly ill informed ignorant post. Way to go tout.

clam · 28/02/2016 22:00

And I'd venture to suggest that tout means "voice of sense," not "sensibility."

dulcefarniente · 28/02/2016 22:00

OP promise us you'll do what *NataliaOsipova" suggests Grin

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 28/02/2016 22:07

Does a menu for a twelve year old differ vastly for a menu for a ten year old then? Is there that much difference in two years?

Shit. I've been feeding my nine year old and six year old the same menu all their lives. Have I done it wrong? Better tell their school too. They cater for four to eleven year olds and they all eat the same menu too. Shock horror.

Op the bride is a twat. Feel free to tell her that. Please.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 28/02/2016 22:09

Love it when a poster comes on and behaves all superior only to make a total muppet of themselves Grin

GingerIvy · 28/02/2016 22:13

The bride may be nuts, but it sounds like the groom isn't that far off, as he's agreeing with her.

Enjoy your family weekend away, OP.

Dollymixtureyumyum · 28/02/2016 22:15

Are you the bride tout?

bakeoffcake · 28/02/2016 22:27

Had you're DH told them you aren't going yet?

I wonder what they will do when they realise they have no best man or flower girlsShock

WonderingAspie · 28/02/2016 22:27

Surely she is going to try and backtrack when she realises they have lost their best man, 3 flower girls and best friends over this?

Did she actually say she never really wanted DD3 there or is that the assumption you made when she came out with the under 10s catering bullshit?

AyeAmarok · 28/02/2016 22:40

Tout, RTFT!

Pipbin · 28/02/2016 22:47

Did she actually say she never really wanted DD3 there or is that the assumption you made when she came out with the under 10s catering bullshit?

From the OP:
Basically they want her there for the ceremony, pictures etc, but she won't be allowed to come to the reception/party afterwards.

The OP then called the bride and DH texted the groom. Neither of them said 'but of course the under 10s thing doesn't include DD3. She is a floor girl after all.' They have had opportunity to set the OP straight if these were assumptions she had made.

Nessalina · 28/02/2016 23:18

Just finished the thread and I can't believe the BTB hasn't been forced to back down on this one!
How is the groom not massively pissed off that he's lost his best man because his fiancée is being a nob??
It's just bizarre! You've definitely done the right thing OP. They sound very very odd.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 28/02/2016 23:36

What do 10 year olds eat that 9 year olds don't? I'd leave it for now. I would hope DH's friend will think about it and apologise. They must realise the position it puts you in.

nevertakeyouriphoneinthebath · 28/02/2016 23:41

This is one of those threads that genuinely just makes your jaw drop.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 29/02/2016 00:02

cressandra not only did tout not read the updates, the very first post says that OP contacted the couple! Hilarious.

TendonQueen · 29/02/2016 00:06

The groom was certainly very casual about the loss of his best man. I'd suspect he'll regret that later.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 29/02/2016 00:12

I love it when someone claims to be the "Voice of reason" or some shit. You always know its gonna be good.

Should have gone to specsavers, Tout.

Summerblaze100 · 29/02/2016 00:18

Completely bizarre behaviour. You have definitely done the right thing.

sleeponeday · 29/02/2016 00:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.