...Or are our friends?

[flyfree1394]

Have three DDs aged 14, 12 and 9.

Very good friends announced their engagement a few months ago and invited the DDs to be flower girls - all three delighted.

Have now received formal invitation.

It says on it that no child under 10 can attend. DD3 is 9, will still be 9 at the time of the wedding.

Contacted friends to check that DD3 was still a flower girl.

Basically they want her there for the ceremony, pictures etc, but she won't be allowed to come to the reception/party afterwards. In short DD3 is expected to sit through a long ceremony, pose for pictures, look like a little angel, etc, then watch her sisters go to a fun party that she can't attend. We are expected to sort out childcare in a place that is miles from our home.

AIBU to think this is absolutely ridiculous?

Oh yes, the 40th birthdays, CaptainCrunch. 50th are bad, too. Wannabe weddingzillas get their second chance. Please come dressed as a sexy beast, stay in the middle of nowhere in a tent for 4 days (no kids) and buy a gift from the Liberty list upwards of £100.

maybe think about that so you have an answer ready

There's only one morally and politically correct answer though; a brief one, the second word of which is "off" :)

A family member of mine sent out a 'no under 7s' email after the initial save the dates etc. We'd already accepted but one that email went out, I emailed the groom (as he was the family member) and explained that as DD would be 7 weeks away from her 7th birthday, we'd have to put our acceptance on hold as we'd need to sort childcare. I did add a sentence saying that we'd be unlikely to find childcare as most people I'd ask would be either at work or at the wedding (it was a Monday).

I got an email almost straight back, apologising and asking if we'd mind pretending DD was 7 for the day. They obviously really wanted their us there and realised we'd probably not go if DD couldn't. I suspect there were other specific children/babies/toddlers they didn't want there. DD was more than happy to oblige and many people commented on how lovely she was during the day/evening.

I'm so sorry this bride is being so sorry sighted. I'm angry on your behalf and upset for your DH that his best friend is proving to be such a letdown.

Tight bastards

Loving the idea of sending them a wedding card that is a picture of your three beautiful daughters dressed up and looking beyond cute . Just rubbin' it in, biatch !

Short sighted not sorry sighted. (And once not one) blooming phone. Lol

Gees, Ewe, sounds like you hang out in some real dives.

What the fuck happens to some people when they are getting married. Enjoy your weekend away, it will be more fun anyway!

People send gift lists for 40th birthdays?

Now I wish I'd invited those whose weddings I attended and attached a list....

I loved going to weddings as a kid. Had my first real kiss at one when I was 15.

redgoat now that's the right way to behave
This thread has convinced me that we should tell the people who are kind enough to be travelling to another country for a family celebration with us (in a place where they can also have a summer holiday, we hope!) that we don't expect gifts of any sort, their presence is the only present we would really appreciate! (Have already said children of all ages very welcome, just to cover my backside there!)

I don't think picking up Chinese take out equates to hanging out in dives.

Utterly crazy indeed. Hope you all have a lovely weekend away. I truly cannot understand what this bride is thinking (resisting glue comments here you know).

You are almost spot on pax. She wanted a wild west saloon theme in these incredibly expensive pod tent type things in the middle of February, no heating or lighting, no dogs allowed (every single guest was a dog owner) for three fecking nights. It was ludicrous. Only after her ninth or tenth decline did she finally get the message and change plans.

Oh, yeah, lorelei, because it's a 'big birthday'. 'Oh, no kids, we want you to relax and let your hair down.' Why not just be honest and say you don't want kids there rather than pretend to be doing someone a favour? If I fancied a night out with DH, I'd organise one, not have someone's idea of a 'treat' foisted on me.

T'is a special kind of madness, but seemingly common.

'But I do often see random families out in the local pub into the evenings frequently surrounded by loud, drunken adults'

So your pub does Chinese, Ewe? Wow.

A Chinese pub, eh?

We had a virtually child free wedding except for the flower girl (aged 8/9) and a couple of babies / toddlers. For the meal she got the choice of sitting with her mum or my friends who didn't have kids. Chose my friends and had a whale of a time apparently and didn't stop talking about it for days. They also thought she was really sweet. I can't imagine not having a child bridesmaid not taking part in the whole day - and making sure they enjoyed it - if nothing else other guests would probably wonder where she had got to!

Yeah, seems increasingly common, 'big' birthday = acting like a brat and expecting everyone to dance round them and spoil them like babies.

Oh my word!
Frankly I would have loved a completely child free wedding but as my DH has a niece (6 at the time) and a nephew (11 at the time) we couldn't not invite them.
My best friend has 3 children - twins aged 4 at the time (girl and boy) and a ten year old.

Made both younger girls flower girls along with best friend and a few others the 4 year old boy sang happy birthday as I went down the aisle but it was hilarious - they were bothe very well behaved though.

I don't have kids and never wanted them (this was a second marriage at age 41 3 years ago nearly ) but would never have upset friends this way over my wedding!

Do you perhaps think she is ten?

Sorry I meant do you think they think she is ten, perhaps?

I hope there are loads of mutual friends at the wedding who keep asking where you are over and over again so she had to explain her batty decision to exclude your child repeatedly all night.

So did you actually tell her you're not going? What did she say?

She certainly has something against your dd, is she nice to her when you meet up?