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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this out of order to my friend? Difficult dilemma. WWYD?

455 replies

Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 20:12

Made a good friend a few years ago. She lives on my street. DCs are friends and we do play dates and baby sit for each other and some times go out for weekends. She moved to this street after her unhappy relationship came to an end and she feels her ex is controlling which I have witnessed and so believe.

I put my house on the market. He has offered me the full asking price.

I am desperate to move.

Would you sell to him in my position?

OP posts:
maydancer · 28/02/2016 08:27

Another thing to consider is that the estate agents fee will still be payable because they have found you a buyer at full asking price.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/02/2016 08:31

Are you not surprised she hasent replied, if I were her that would be it, I woukd want nothing more to do with you. I hope it is a wind up, I have reported. I would hate this to be happening in real life, a good friend who has escaped an abusive relationship, to be shat upon by a supposidly good friend. You sound very emotionally detached op, And devoid of any empathy or emotion, I am hoping this is a wind up.

ilovesooty · 28/02/2016 08:32

My ex was abusive and if I asked him I think even he would think it was a shitty thing to do.

yorkshapudding · 28/02/2016 08:33

Hardly surprising she hasn't replied! She's probably in shock that a person she thought was her friend is seriously "considering" fucking her over for her own financial gain. She's also trying to process the fact that the abusive wankstain she thought she had managesd to get away from will soon be living in her street, able to watch her every move and that of her DC's. She must be absolutely frantic with worry Sad

So, how long are you going to let her sweat for OP? Clearly, you've made your decision, you're going to sell your poor "friend" down the river, that's obvious. Nice of you to let her know you're just "considering" ruining her life so she's left wondering for a while though Hmm

And, for what it's worth, my DH's response to your "dilemma" was "she should be ashamed of herself for even thinking about it". Does that make any difference? No idea why you're suddenly interested in the thoughts of MNers DP's, are the hordes of YABU's you've already had not sufficient? Hmm

ColdTeaAgain · 28/02/2016 08:33

Right....so you're considering an offer from your friends abuser only a few days of your house being on the market Hmm is this a reverse?

RebootYourEngine · 28/02/2016 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CantThink5 · 28/02/2016 08:38

Op just reading your posts you sound like you have made up your mind. I'm glad you're not my friend.

5miles is nothing!!!!!
It's only been on a few days so chances are another offer will come in, possibly above asking price.
He's two streets away so he doesn't need to be closer without either a possibly sinister reason or to fuck you over too. Costs you financially/ruins friendship/isolates his ex further all in one go.

Can't believe you'd even be contemplating it. What if it was you????

Blink1982 · 28/02/2016 08:41

Wow. I can't believe you can't see yabu. Even though you started a thread to check so you MUST have had doubts...?

pudcat · 28/02/2016 08:42

Who needs enemies with friends like this? Also he could be doing it to screw you over as you are his ex-wife's friend and pull out of the deal at the last minute.

Millymollymoo8 · 28/02/2016 08:42

What a mean and nasty thing to do...your not a friend at all!

May karma get you.

Scoose · 28/02/2016 08:42

With 'friends' like you who needs enemies

seven201 · 28/02/2016 08:47

I'd tell the friend. If he doesn't buy yours he might just someone else's on the same road in a few months. But I agree it's probably a no. You're a very good friend.

yorkshapudding · 28/02/2016 08:48

The fact that she lives on your street but you chose to tell her about this by text rather than face to face speaks volumes. You didn't want to have to look your friend in the eye when you tell her you're probably going to ruin her life. You clearly know that you're in the wrong.

ilovesooty · 28/02/2016 08:49

At least you've revealed what you're like. Your friend can at least make an informed choice to dump you.

Griphook · 28/02/2016 08:51

Do you want to remain friends with her?

FeralBeryl · 28/02/2016 08:55

Does she rent or is she buying it? This would influence my decision greatly if I was desperate for a sale which it doesn't sound like you are yet that would hopefully give her the chance for him to be trapped into a mortgage leaving her free to leg it.
2 streets away is massive in regards to someone being able to legally stand outside their own home and intimidate her with no comeback. Any future restraining orders etc would not be enforceable because of his home and mortgage.
I certainly wouldn't have told her over text, maybe you don't value her friendship as much as you think? She deserved that bombshell delivered face to face.

enochroot · 28/02/2016 08:57

You told her by text and you're expecting her to reply by text?

maydancer · 28/02/2016 09:02

He will just buy someone else's house if you don't sell

PerryHatter · 28/02/2016 09:06

I'm sure once the house is sold to her ex, she'll be welcoming getting rid of you. That's disgusting, your house has been on the market a few days and you're considering selling to a good friends abusive ex? Fuck me, what a 'friend' you are.

StableYard · 28/02/2016 09:09

Well. I think you hsve done the right thing. After all 5miles is SUCH a long distance and after being on the market only a FEW day's you must he desperate.

Don't worry about your friend. ...well ex-friend. You won't keep in contact with her anyway as you don't really care for her. Her mental health and safety MUST take second place to that whole 5 miles of commuting.

You. Are. Not. A. Very. Nice. Person

Thank goodness your friend will be able to see your true self now

WhirlyTwos · 28/02/2016 09:18

How many other houses are for sale on your street OP? Are they all a similar architecture and price?

Only1scoop · 28/02/2016 09:20

Are you him?

Boomingmarvellous · 28/02/2016 09:24

Omg no!

ovenchips · 28/02/2016 09:31

I know this is a silly child's sort of retort but OP you need to look up 'good friend' in the dictionary. Your neighbour is clearly neither to you! Convenient, yes. Available, yes. Easily discarded, yes.

Aeroflotgirl · 28/02/2016 09:36

If you are genuine op, I hope karma will come back, and he pulls out at the last min leaving you in the shit, will serve you right.