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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this out of order to my friend? Difficult dilemma. WWYD?

455 replies

Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 20:12

Made a good friend a few years ago. She lives on my street. DCs are friends and we do play dates and baby sit for each other and some times go out for weekends. She moved to this street after her unhappy relationship came to an end and she feels her ex is controlling which I have witnessed and so believe.

I put my house on the market. He has offered me the full asking price.

I am desperate to move.

Would you sell to him in my position?

OP posts:
Knackered69 · 28/02/2016 08:09
Hmm
NickiFury · 28/02/2016 08:11

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SoupDragon · 28/02/2016 08:11

Ive told her I'm considering the offer. She has not replied

That's because you've lost a friend.

SevenOfNineTrue · 28/02/2016 08:12

5 miles is nothing. I don't think that is a reason to shaft your friend.

^^
Totally agree.

Also think of how you would like her to act if your roles were reversed.

SoupDragon · 28/02/2016 08:13

What does your DH say, OP?

AugustaFinkNottle · 28/02/2016 08:13

Are you sure he's actually in a position to move? If he owns his current house surely he'll have to sell that first?

DinosaursRoar · 28/02/2016 08:15

Agree that you can use an offer on the table to get more viewers around and make them feel your house is one to be snapped up - get your estate agent to let other viewers know you have an offer "close to the asking price" on the table after a few days on the market but you would like to keep it available for a bit longer as the other buyer isn't in a position to move quickly. You might well get others round and offering soon.

diddl · 28/02/2016 08:16

I think that the oddest thing is moving for 5miles.

Do you have to be within walking distance?

Original poster
Headfulahorlix · 28/02/2016 08:16

Oh doesn't see the problem. I wonder what the responses would be if you asked your ohs, if you are partnered up that is

OP posts:
OhShutUpThomas · 28/02/2016 08:16

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stiffstink · 28/02/2016 08:17

Wow. Just wow.

If he isn't genuine he's going to fuck up your purchase and ruin the friendship, so he succeeds in isolating your friend and causing you a financial loss (survey, searches etc).

If he is genuine, you lose the friendship anyway because she'll see that you are no friend at all.

You should have sent a text saying 'Hi mate, I've seen pound signs and you probably won't want to speak to me ever again but I'm saving 10 mins on my commute by selling to your evil ex. Thanks for being a good friend for the last 2 yrs, sorry I couldn't reciprocate, kerching!'

Based on your replies, you don't care what her view is anyway!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/02/2016 08:17

You want to accept his offer yet you know what this might mean to his Ex.

Your posts suggest you don't appear to really care about her future or the implication of you selling to him as long as you're ok.

dreame · 28/02/2016 08:17

Well, you've just told your friend that she's more a "friend" than a friend. What do you want her to reply? You've told her you're considering it.

Likely he'll gazump you and you'll be without his money and her friendship.

hesterton · 28/02/2016 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhShutUpThomas · 28/02/2016 08:18

Depends what kind of a man your partner is. Mine would be horrified.

So just to clarify - you're selling your house, on your friends street, to her controlling abusive ex, so that he can step up his control and abuse of her? And you see no problem with this?

You're disgusting.

ohforfoxsake · 28/02/2016 08:18

My ex lives around the corner. I can tell you it's too close. He still tries to control me.

NickiFury · 28/02/2016 08:19

I already have.

Jitterybug · 28/02/2016 08:20

I hope your friend has some real friends to support her through this.

pictish · 28/02/2016 08:20

I did ask him...last night. He agreed with me that to sell to the ex would be a shitfest on your part.

hesterton · 28/02/2016 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohforfoxsake · 28/02/2016 08:21

My XH lives around the corner OP. He finds this is the most convenient way to continue to control me.

maydancer · 28/02/2016 08:22

Haven't read the full thread, but I would sell if I believed he had a genuine intent to buy.If he doesn't buy yours he will buy a another on the street when one comes up. My question though is whether he would just be wasting your time to mess with her head.
You must gave showed him round,then have you?

pictish · 28/02/2016 08:22

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DinosaursRoar · 28/02/2016 08:25

erm, if your DP/H doesn't see the problem with selling to a man who's buying in order to stalk/abuse a friend of yours who lives in the street, does he (or indeed you) see the problem with trying to sell to someone you know to be controlling and manipluative, and might not have any intention of actually going through with the sale at the price you have agreed? Neither of you can see that he could well be a nightmare buyer - or indeed not be a buyer at all as his motive for putting the offer in might have nothing to do with actually intending to buy your house but to fuck up the emotions of your friend (who he must know will find out about it and be upset/worried).

OP - you don't seem to have acknowledged at all that the offer might not be genuine or that a manipulative man might be a nightmare buyer. Have you really given any thought to the idea he has no intention of actually buying your house at the price he's offered (or at all)? where will that leave you if in 3 months time it all falls through?

OhShutUpThomas · 28/02/2016 08:25

Me too pictish. Although I know there are actually people this awful in the world - I just don't find they usually need to ask opinions, as they're generally convinced they're right.

And yes, I've reported!