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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sell the concert tickets

132 replies

FaithlessOne · 26/02/2016 23:18

I am so angry I can't think straight so I need ad

DD (age 12) has done a really stupid thing. She's part of a Minecraft forum and server. Donations to the server are accepted but not compulsory but you get more privileges with donating.

Anyway, I found out tonight that yesterday she donated over £70 of her own money on behalf of other users of the forum. I'm fuming. Yes, it's her money but it's too much and she doesn't know these people..

So, WIBU to sell the concert tickets she begged me for (I bought them last month for £120) to re-coup the money and teach her a lesson?

OP posts:
Original poster
FaithlessOne · 26/02/2016 23:19

*need advice

OP posts:
Chocoholicmonster · 26/02/2016 23:20

When is the concert?

Original poster
FaithlessOne · 26/02/2016 23:21

April

OP posts:
00100001 · 26/02/2016 23:21

yabu.

why did she give the money?

RubyRoseViolet · 26/02/2016 23:21

I wouldn't. She's been very, very silly but she spent her own money. Does she acknowledge her mistake?

AtSea1979 · 26/02/2016 23:22

It's her money so you want to sell the concert tickets and give her the money back? Surely it's her choice then whether she wants to go to the concert or have money back?

Original poster
FaithlessOne · 26/02/2016 23:22

It's the only thing I can think of to sell of 'hers'.

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 26/02/2016 23:23

Why would she donate on behalf of others?

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/02/2016 23:23

It's her money. One of the most important things you can do is help your children learn from their mistakes. Unless she really, genuinely feels that it was money well spent. In which case you might have the future head of a charity on your hands. What lesson is it that you want her to learn?

A much better lesson might be to give over MORE control of the money to her and then, when she wants concert tickets in future, she has to save, not spend money on her Minecraft or go without.

Redglitter · 26/02/2016 23:23

I'd say YWBU she's lost £70 of her own money. If it had been your money is say do it but to sell the tickets to then give her the money seems a bit pointless. I bet she's learned her lesson. Sadly she's not 5he first and won't be the last to get caught out making in game payments

Chicagomd · 26/02/2016 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peppapogstillonaloop · 26/02/2016 23:24

But she has already lost her money? Why do you have to get that money back?

Chocoholicmonster · 26/02/2016 23:24

On another note, I don't think you're being unreasonable to be angry but to sell the tickets I think is a little unreasonable. At 12, how does she have access to 'donate' this money online? Personally, as it's her own money, I'd sit her down & explain why this was not such a good idea to do & take more of a control over her access to money / being able to spend / donate online.

If it was YOUR money I'd say to certainly sell the tickets to recoup the £70 but as it's not - maybe it'll be a tough lesson learnt when she wants a new pair of shoes or toy or something & has already spent that money.

HeffalumpHistory · 26/02/2016 23:24

Yanbu. Yes it's her money but I think 12 is too young, especially given circumstances of the thread, to fully understand the value. Harshness lesson but would be one that she'd remember & hopefully learn from.
Tough on you though

Chicagomd · 26/02/2016 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FaithlessOne · 26/02/2016 23:24

She doesn't know why she gave the money. She just did.

I bought the concert tickets. I don't think she deserves a treat like that.

OP posts:
Redglitter · 26/02/2016 23:25

Why is there a need to sell anything though
It was her money. Maybe not spent the wisest way but it was hers to spend

MissTessmacher · 26/02/2016 23:25

YABU.

I'm a softie though.

How did she donate £70? She has a bank account and PayPal? Confused

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/02/2016 23:26

I don't think she deserves a treat like that. Because she was generous and a little gullible? I'm still struggling to see the 'lesson'.

Chicagomd · 26/02/2016 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VimFuego101 · 26/02/2016 23:27

I think losing her 70 pounds is punishment enough tbh. I'd be more concerned that she learns to think really hard about what she gives away online (money and information) to people she doesn't know, and maybe ban her from the forum until she has proved she can be responsible.

cestlavielife · 26/02/2016 23:28

It was her money
Had you pvsly told or advised her not to give money and talked about it ?
Use it as a learning experience she is only 12
Take her to the concert

Original poster
FaithlessOne · 26/02/2016 23:28

Thanks for posts. Yes it's her money. She has her own bank account. I thought she was sensible. The donated money was her money. I bought the concert tickets as a treat for but I no longer think she deserves that treat.

Tbh I hadn't thought through about giving her the money from the sale of the tickets as I bought them. I just had a knee-jerk reaction to wanting her to lose something.

I haven't discussed the tickets with her. She was sent to bed when I found out about the donations.

OP posts:
Chocoholicmonster · 26/02/2016 23:29

I'm struggling to understand how a 12 year old has access to spend or donate any amount of money online to be honest? If you had more control over her online (/bank??) accounts then surely this wouldn't of happened? As it was her own money I wouldn't punish by taking away the tickets but I would maybe ban her from going online for a couple of weeks to really hit home.

Original poster
FaithlessOne · 26/02/2016 23:29

I wasn't going to give her the money back. Just take away the treat of the concert by selling the tickets.

OP posts:
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