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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect wedding guests to book a room at the hotel we've booked for exclusive use not the hotel down the road

423 replies

maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 19:04

So we're getting married.... we have booked an exclusive use hotel which means we will be charged for all rooms that are not filled. The wedding is on a Sunday so quite a few guests are going home on the Sunday night and not staying over. That I don't have a problem with. But one couple have booked two nights in the sister hotel to our hotel (so similar prices) as they could not book a room on the Saturday (as it is being used for another wedding). Despite knowing we will have to pay for all the rooms in 'our' hotel they are refusing to move hotels as they don't want the inconvenience.

I probably am BU as I know it was our choice to take the risk of an exclusive, and they can stay wherever they want, but as we will likely not fill more than half of the rooms we are facing a massive bill now (like 1.5k) and it just seems a bit unfair if they're staying in the sister hotel down the road just because they can't /don't want to move on the morning of the wedding.

Really wish I had not booked an exclusive venue now, especially on a Sunday night.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 25/02/2016 22:10

It's a shame but i don't think it's surprising that guests are choosing cheaper hotels. We avoided this kind of hotel for our wedding for this reason. We also had a Saturday wedding for the convenience of guests. It does push the price up so we had less money for food and wine but we thought it was the best decision for everyone.

I hope you have a wonderful wedding!

contortionist · 25/02/2016 22:12

I'm sure you'll love it. Our wedding was on a Thursday, and was rather smaller than yours - only about 30 guests. We didn't have exclusive use of the hotel; actually the bridal suite was already taken by someone else! (But the room we got instead was fab).

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 22:14

Ah, thought DHH was exclusive use only for weddings. Ours is 100 in the day so it wouldn't have worked doing it as non exclusive I don't think - there would be too many people not to take over the whole house.

Most weddings are less people in the day more in the evening but ours will be the other way round!

OP posts:
Littlecatbigpanther · 25/02/2016 22:24

Hope you have a lovely wedding OP! It's a shame more people are t staying at the venue but maybe money is tight/they can't get Monday off work.

As you will have to pay for the rooms then I'd very quietly offer them to any close friends or relatives for free before the wedding. Ask them to tell no one else as others have had to pay. I'm sure they'll keep the secret and enjoy the room, I expect they'll give you a nice present in return. You may still have a few empty rooms if you can't trust many people to keep the secret but hey ho.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/02/2016 22:29

looks a lovely venue, tho says weddings cheaper by £1k on a sunday, tho once you pay for the extra rooms, you wont be saving :(

think you were conned for exclusive use on a sunday

i stay at many hotel for friends weddings but ouch at £150 per night, think most i paid was £100 for a posh marriot hotel - tho like prem inn for £60/70

one wedding we paid £80 for the night but arrived at 2am and had to leave by 10am or pay extra - so literally in the room for 8hrs - sleeping some of it

its insane to spend £150 for a bed

room wasnt avaiable till 4pm and wedding starting at 1pm so couldnt even get in our room

and childcare

i do tons of wedding creches/childcare and my insurance wouldnt be valid to leave a child alone in a locked room with just a monitor

they may be quiet as got out of bed tripped and cracked their head on the bath/chest of drawers etc.......

lorelei9 · 25/02/2016 22:29

Little "I'm sure they'll keep the secret and enjoy the room, I expect they'll give you a nice present in return."

this makes me cringe a bit as well.

Elledouble · 25/02/2016 22:30

"Resell the rooms" - what a thoroughly unpleasant way for them to express it. It sounds so mercenary. It's a long time since I got married and we didn't have exclusive use of the venue but this surely can't be the norm?

And I'm not a fan of school-night weddings. I find it excruciatingly embarrassing when people don't dance.

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 22:35

Well I've got childcare arranged Blondes so presumably their insurance is ok with it. Up to the parents whether to use the service or not, I will be using it for my two kids!

OP posts:
Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 22:37

And that's 1k cheaper on a Sunday than Mon-Fri, it would be much more to have it on a Saturday.

I think Sunday is preferable to say a Wednesday so not sure why it's cheaper on a Sunday than a mid week day, anyone able to enlighten me?

OP posts:
rosebiggs · 25/02/2016 22:40

You may find that nearer the date people may change their minds about staying over and you will fill more rooms. I have with weddings, as it can be difficult to know whether it will be convenient to stay over or not until closer to the date.

lorelei9 · 25/02/2016 22:48

maggie "I think Sunday is preferable to say a Wednesday so not sure why it's cheaper on a Sunday than a mid week day, anyone able to enlighten me?"

they are more likely to have corporate private dos on weeknights.

PurpleDaisies · 25/02/2016 22:50

I'm surprised Friday is the same as mon-thurs given that Friday seems to have become a fairly common day to have a wedding.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/02/2016 22:52

i would ask to see their insurance and what it covers - morton michel is the main one for us childcares and they wont cover if not in the room in a hotel/venue etc

i dont know any nannies/cm or maternity nurses who would happily 'care' /babysit a child in a locked room with a monitor, that they are not in

TowerRavenSeven · 25/02/2016 22:53

Yabu but you already know that. They can stay where they want and if I was the guest paying for it I'd do what I wanted as well.

PurpleDaisies · 25/02/2016 22:54

Presumably the parents would leave them the key blonde. I'm not a parent but I know friends that have kids wouldn't be happy with that arrangement.

Cressandra · 25/02/2016 22:54

Maggie - I think Sun is cheaper because it's the hardest night to fill rooms. On weeknights they would be potentially turning down more business.

LovelyFriend · 25/02/2016 22:54

I would be seriously renegotiating with the hotel - they are the experts and they mislead you. They will know full well that less people will stay over on a Sunday wedding than a Saturday one, and now you have realised that.

I'd rather put some energy in to trying to renegotiate with them, than sell hotels to your guests. Also point out that XYZ guests are staying at the sister hotel and get those bookings knocked off your rate (if they insist on keeping you "exclusive").

BigQueenBee · 25/02/2016 22:56

YABU,VU! I would book the cheapest place available or even camp. Weddings are bloody expensive for guests.
Why would you expect people to stay at " your" hotel? Did you inform them of this arrangement?

Cressandra · 25/02/2016 22:59

Lovelyfriend that's a good point re those bookings counting. For both nights - why not?

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 23:01

Big queen be - I said 'we hope as many people as possible can join us' (at the hotel)

Is that an expectation, a demand, a suggestion? I don't think it is an imposition.

A few people from out of town have arranged not to stay at the hotel and that's fine. But if it's their sister hotel next door it's slightly different.

OP posts:
Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 23:03

Cressandra, they won't count because the hotel can't book any other guests in the venue hotel on the wedding night. So all those rooms are effectively booked - by me. Whereas rooms in the sister hotel or the other night could be taken by a fee paying customer so they'd make a loss if they counted those ones towards my quota.

OP posts:
lorelei9 · 25/02/2016 23:05

LovelyFriend "I would be seriously renegotiating with the hotel - they are the experts and they mislead you"

I don't get how the hotel have misled anyone. You agree to book out the hotel thinking that you will get your money back because guests will book. That is not the fault of the hotel surely?

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 23:06

I have never said any of this is the hotel's fault! They are just doing business, and this was part of the deal, I took the risk and I will take it on the chin if that risk doesn't work out. I am not going to try and negotiate with hotel.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 25/02/2016 23:07

if it's their sister hotel next door it's slightly different.

Yes if both cost the same but you've said the sister hotel is £30 cheaper. I'm amazed anyone is staying at your venue if there's a hotel next door that doesn't cost as much.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 25/02/2016 23:08

We had exclusive use 10 years ago and charged the rooms back at a reduced rate of £60/£80/£100 for standard/super/deluxe room (or some such categorisation).

We didn't let all the rooms but matched the price of the local B&Bs so everyone did choose to stay at our hotel rather than elsewhere.

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