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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect wedding guests to book a room at the hotel we've booked for exclusive use not the hotel down the road

423 replies

maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 19:04

So we're getting married.... we have booked an exclusive use hotel which means we will be charged for all rooms that are not filled. The wedding is on a Sunday so quite a few guests are going home on the Sunday night and not staying over. That I don't have a problem with. But one couple have booked two nights in the sister hotel to our hotel (so similar prices) as they could not book a room on the Saturday (as it is being used for another wedding). Despite knowing we will have to pay for all the rooms in 'our' hotel they are refusing to move hotels as they don't want the inconvenience.

I probably am BU as I know it was our choice to take the risk of an exclusive, and they can stay wherever they want, but as we will likely not fill more than half of the rooms we are facing a massive bill now (like 1.5k) and it just seems a bit unfair if they're staying in the sister hotel down the road just because they can't /don't want to move on the morning of the wedding.

Really wish I had not booked an exclusive venue now, especially on a Sunday night.

OP posts:
CooPie10 · 25/02/2016 21:29

I can't believe that when they explained this package to you, the question of what if the rooms don't get booked up? never crossed your mind?
Did you not think of the inconvenience of moving over rooms for your guests?
Did you not realise people might not want to spare a day of annual leave on a wedding?
I think the issue here is you didn't really think of it from your guests pov. A good host would have done that.

FoolsAndJesters · 25/02/2016 21:32

If you copy and paste the text into google the hotel comes up immediately. It looks lovely.

lorelei9 · 25/02/2016 21:33

origami - no offence, I can't believe anyone doesn't know how ruthless weddings are. Or any event. You should have been with me trying to get flowers for the do for my parents' silver wedding Grin

Cress "I don't want to spend £150 for a room I'll hardly spend any time in conscious"

this made me lol. I don't really drink so excellent point, not one I had thought of.

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 21:35

Well the village hotel which is down the road and not as nice by far has doubles for £120 so I really didn't think £150 was that bad.
Some guests have opted for the travelodge though which has rooms for like £60 and whilst obviously I would have preferred it if they stayed at the hotel I absolutely respect their right to do that.

OP posts:
Cressandra · 25/02/2016 21:37

Lorelei Grin

I was only thinking they'd be at the wedding til bedtime, and then sleeping

PurpleDaisies · 25/02/2016 21:41

Well the village hotel which is down the road and not as nice by far has doubles for £120 so I really didn't think £150 was that bad.
Really? It's 25% more expensive. £30 is a wedding present...

RalphSteadmansEye · 25/02/2016 21:42

I never book a room in the same hotel as the wedding.

If I'm being forced to cough up a load of money to go to a wedding, I'd rather a quiet night's sleep in a venue that's not hosting a disco until the wee hours, so always check that the place I book instead is a non-wedding place, and I'd much rather just have a quiet breakfast with my own husband the next day rather than with a whole group of other people - at least that way you get some value out of the hotel stay. Plus, we don't drink so no taxi costs involved.

OP - YABVVU

EverySecondCounts · 25/02/2016 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackBagTheBorderBinLiner · 25/02/2016 21:45

I think we've probably crashed their website!

I'd chat to hotel about what happens to the unsold rooms - they're not going to have to clean them after all.

If they sit tight ie. don't knock off £70+ per room off the total bill, then I'd get in touch with your friends you most want to be there, the ones that will be a good laugh and you want around, explain the situation (include the financial bit) and say 'have the rooms for nothing" At that point DH and I (DH is very tight)) would bite your hand off and bung you £80ish and a much bigger wedding present.

The venue looks lovely, perfect for milling around, lots of lovely sofas, areas for chatting and being as socialable as you want as a guest. Good choice.

Best wishes.

BillBrysonsBeard · 25/02/2016 21:45

My friend did this and it was lovely staying there for the night and having somewhere to get ready beforehand. Then all had breakfast together the next day! There were about 30 of us. It cost £120 for two of us to stay and we knew this made it cheaper for the B & G. She suggested it in a lovely way and thought it was a great idea. All guests stayed so I can see why you thought yours would. It was on a Monday too so everyone booked the Tuesday off! Hopefully you'll get some last minute takers.

lorelei9 · 25/02/2016 21:48

glad to hear there is a travelodge option

£30 is still a big saving in my view.

theycallmemellojello · 25/02/2016 21:49

We've all done that thing of thinking something is a great idea, paying a shit ton of money, then almost immediately realised we'll not get the use out of it, and it's a massive waste of money. Gym membership, year's subscription to the economist(!) in my case... chalk it up to experience op. And maybe a begging email to the guests saying you'll consider subbing half of the room costs if people want to go in - that way at least you'll get half your money back.

Youremywifenow · 25/02/2016 21:50

That's just down the road from me, it's gorgeous. Have a lovely day

iwouldgoouttonight · 25/02/2016 21:53

Silly question but how have people identified the hotel from a few lines I cut and pasted off their website ?

If you copy and paste:

The bride and groom can choose a rate to “re-sell” the accommodation onto guests. An average example of this = 26 x bedrooms re sold (not including the bridal suite) @ £150 per room B & B = £3,900.

Into Google it will bring up what I assume is your hotel.

Good luck OP, me and DP haven't got married partly because of all the issues around weddings, it's a minefield and it seems you can never please everyone. Hope you have a fab day Flowers

Muskateersmummy · 25/02/2016 21:53

We did exactly this for our wedding, booked a private house, with rooms. It was exclusive use so all the rooms were paid for. But there were less rooms than you have and it was a Saturday. Pretty much all of the rooms were taken by immediate family and wedding party.

I think the problem your facing is a Sunday wedding. Most people won't want to take the Monday off work to travel back from a wedding.

You can only offer reduced rate now if you reduce for everyone otherwise there will be bad feeling.

I hope you get it solved and have a great day

iwouldgoouttonight · 25/02/2016 21:54

Cross posted with a zillion people Blush

camelfinger · 25/02/2016 21:57

I do have sympathy for you as one does get royally ripped off when arranging a wedding. I like staying in the venue as you can pop yo your room and get comfort shoes etc and have a snack or drink if the offering is not that great. But if it was going to be expensive if probably just go to another nearby hotel and thus avoid the morning after embarrassing small talk. I've also actually booked a £60 one hour taxi before as that's significantly cheaper than a hotel room and it's nice to wake up in your own bed, even more so on a Sunday. Never mind, I'm sure you'll have a brilliant day.

contortionist · 25/02/2016 21:58

We got married in that hotel! It's a really lovely venue. We had the ceremony in DHH and then the reception in the garden at 11DP. It was a great day - I hope yours is too.

SoThatHappened · 25/02/2016 21:59

It doesnt look that great, the hotel.

You can't really choose to pay for something you want in advance and then expect your guests to pay you back for it whether it is convenient or not or if they can afford it or not.

UsernameIncorrect · 25/02/2016 22:00

It's a bit creepy to just say "oh hotel looks lovely" without telling the OP how you know. It's polite to say "oh I googled it, it looks lovely."

FoolsAndJesters · 25/02/2016 22:02

SoThatHappened
It doesnt look that great, the hotel

Was that a typo? If it wasn't then it's pointlessly mean. Confused

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 22:03

Glad to hear you rate the venue contortionist. Did you get married on a Saturday?

In a way I'm glad I wrote this post tonight as it's prepared me now for a sunday wedding being perhaps a bit different to what I thought. I haven't been to loads of weddings before, and none on a weekday or Sunday, so I won't get too miffed if the place empties out by 10.

OP posts:
Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 22:04

I think Sothathappened is trolling, Fools and Jesters.

Thank you for pointing it out!

OP posts:
FoolsAndJesters · 25/02/2016 22:07

If all your closest family and friends are staying the night then it won't matter if other people leave or not.

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 22:10

No, I am going to think of it as almost two weddings

A big ceremony and wedding breakfast with most of the people who know us
A smaller more intimate evening do with those closest to us

The only close family who isn't staying is sister in law to be and family, but DH isn't that close to her and I'm not too fussed.

OP posts: