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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect wedding guests to book a room at the hotel we've booked for exclusive use not the hotel down the road

423 replies

maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 19:04

So we're getting married.... we have booked an exclusive use hotel which means we will be charged for all rooms that are not filled. The wedding is on a Sunday so quite a few guests are going home on the Sunday night and not staying over. That I don't have a problem with. But one couple have booked two nights in the sister hotel to our hotel (so similar prices) as they could not book a room on the Saturday (as it is being used for another wedding). Despite knowing we will have to pay for all the rooms in 'our' hotel they are refusing to move hotels as they don't want the inconvenience.

I probably am BU as I know it was our choice to take the risk of an exclusive, and they can stay wherever they want, but as we will likely not fill more than half of the rooms we are facing a massive bill now (like 1.5k) and it just seems a bit unfair if they're staying in the sister hotel down the road just because they can't /don't want to move on the morning of the wedding.

Really wish I had not booked an exclusive venue now, especially on a Sunday night.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 25/02/2016 19:15

Someone I know had a Thursday wedding and expected family to attend from afar.

Thar was pretty much a full weeks annual leave for me. Cheers for that.

BoboChic · 25/02/2016 19:16

Unless you are paying for the rooms, your wedding guests can stay wherever they please.

PurpleDaisies · 25/02/2016 19:17

Totally unreasonable. Moving hotels after one night would be a real nuisance.

I'm afraid I'm awarding you a brizezilla badge.

FellOutOfBedTwice · 25/02/2016 19:19

YABU. If you're not paying, you can't dictate.

jevoudrais · 25/02/2016 19:19

YABU but I can see your frustration.

Our wedding is a Friday. People are happy to come and pay for a hotel. Venue only has four rooms and part of the reason we chose our date is because the rooms are available the day before and day off, to avoid moving around. I feel that if people are travelling in excess of 150 miles I can see why they want less upheaval when they're here.

MissingPanda · 25/02/2016 19:19

YABU you don't get to dictate where people stay unless you're paying for it.

FishWithABicycle · 25/02/2016 19:20

CornishDoll82 a "reverse" is when someone pretends to be the "other" person in a dispute the are involved in, and posts the details from their point of view, and therefore is hoping for pages of YABU.

magpie17 · 25/02/2016 19:21

Oops Anyfucker was it me?! I got married on a Thursday a long way from home! We didn't 'expect' people to come though and paid for all their food and accommodation for three days to ease the burden (very small wedding).

Anyway, back to the OP - you are being ridiculous. They would have to check out at 11am (probably) from hotel 1 and then wait until 2pm (probably) to check into hotel 2, it's bonkers to expect that. When/where would they get ready for the wedding?

It's not their fault you booked exclusively and if 'half' the rooms will be empty then why are they getting the blame anyway?

PenelopePitstops · 25/02/2016 19:22

YABU totally!

Packing and unpacking is a faff. You risked booking the whole place.

cleaty · 25/02/2016 19:22

They probably have to check out in morning, who wants to carry luggage about till they can check in to other hotel? Would be a major pain.

CooPie10 · 25/02/2016 19:22

I probably am BU as I know it was our choice to take the risk of an exclusive, and they can stay wherever they want,

So what's the issue if you know this alreadyConfused

Peaceandloveeveryone · 25/02/2016 19:23

Definitely YABU, the joy of booking two nights is that you have the whole day of room to use in between.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 25/02/2016 19:23

YABVU. Not just a little bit. Very.

Guests are spending their money to make the effort to attend your wedding. They can choose to sleep wherever they want!

YOU chose to take on the costs of the exclusive use of your venue - how dare you go expecting to pass some of that cost on to your guests?

wigglesrock · 25/02/2016 19:23

I very rarely stay in the same hotel that I'm attending a wedding in especially if theres another one handy enough. I like having an excuse to leave, I also like having some time to spend with my husband having a quick drink/breakfast sometimes both together without anyone else I know, especially if I've had to shell out for a hotel in the first place.

There's no way I'd be shifting between 2 hotels because you hadn't had enough sense to do your sums. Although my money is also on a reverse.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 25/02/2016 19:23

YABVU! We rejected an exclusive use hotel for exactly this reason. It didn't seem fair to expect others to pay for our wedding.

DontSweatTheSmallStuff · 25/02/2016 19:25

YABU, you will still be paying the same whether they stay there or not, so does it really matter unless you want to feel like you got your moneys worth?

Squiff85 · 25/02/2016 19:25

You are BU and what a pain a Sunday/Sunday night wedding is for people!

I think you have to suck it up

Bearbehind · 25/02/2016 19:26

Completely unreasonable.

If you expect your guests to stay in a specific hotel you should pay.

If you are not paying, you don't get to specify where they stay.

VimFuego101 · 25/02/2016 19:27

To channel a phrase from another bridezilla thread... 'are you on glue'?

YABU.

TimeToMuskUp · 25/02/2016 19:28

YABU. We got married and hired the entire venue exclusively. We paid for the rooms of family and bridal party, then offered the rest to wider family/friends. Some chose a B&B down the road, some chose the barns which had been converted to a holiday let, we went with whatever was best for them.

I wouldn't be willing to change hotel room on the morning of a wedding; we have two DCs and the upheaval of that would drive me batshit. Let people do as they please.

Aeroflotgirl · 25/02/2016 19:29

You know you are being very unreasonable. Not their fault you booked rooms for exclusive use. Yes it is an inconvenience for them to have to pack up their things from the other hotel and move to the one of yours, on yiur say so.

WaitrosePigeon · 25/02/2016 19:29

Are you serious? Like really? This can't be real.

JenEric · 25/02/2016 19:30

YADBU It sounds like they wanted to book into your hotel but couldn't get the 2 nights they needed so had to make alternative arrangements.

There is no way I would faff about changing hotels on the day of the wedding. You do realise that this would mean an early checkout from down the road which then leaves the problem of where on earth to put all their stuff until they can check into your hotel? Not to mention the fact that they would have no room to chill in for the morning if your wedding is in the afternoon?

Be glad they are coming when it's far enough to require 2 nights in a hotel and a days annual leave!

OddBoots · 25/02/2016 19:30

I don't imagine it is the changing rooms part that is the problem but the fact that hotels normally want you out by midday and you can't get in a new room until 4pm so the prime time when people want to be getting changed and sorted they would be without a room in which to do it.

Pancakeflipper · 25/02/2016 19:30

Yabu

And good point about checking out and then in at another hotel.
They did try there just wasn't all the nights at your venue that they required.

Be happy they are willing to spend 2 nights attending your wedding. Doubt it's cheap for them.

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