To expect wedding guests to book a room at the hotel we've booked for exclusive use not the hotel down the road

[maggiethemagpie]

So we're getting married.... we have booked an exclusive use hotel which means we will be charged for all rooms that are not filled. The wedding is on a Sunday so quite a few guests are going home on the Sunday night and not staying over. That I don't have a problem with. But one couple have booked two nights in the sister hotel to our hotel (so similar prices) as they could not book a room on the Saturday (as it is being used for another wedding). Despite knowing we will have to pay for all the rooms in 'our' hotel they are refusing to move hotels as they don't want the inconvenience.

I probably am BU as I know it was our choice to take the risk of an exclusive, and they can stay wherever they want, but as we will likely not fill more than half of the rooms we are facing a massive bill now (like 1.5k) and it just seems a bit unfair if they're staying in the sister hotel down the road just because they can't /don't want to move on the morning of the wedding.

Really wish I had not booked an exclusive venue now, especially on a Sunday night.

Just because I get charged for unused rooms does not mean that my wedding costs include everyone's room

Other than if you read your contract

It's my choice whether to pay for them or not

But that absolutey not true.

For the sake of easy sums, your bill is £10,000

Every room you 'sell' reduces that bill by £150.

You don't have a 'choice'

You pay £10k less number of rooms sold @ £150 each. If you sell none then you pay £10k.

OP, you're coming across as increasingly mercenary as this thread progresses. I really hope none of your guests are reading this.

I really hope none of your guests are reading this

Yes, this.

Yabu. You shouldn't have booked exclusive use of a venue if you couldn't afford it without guests covering part of the costs by staying there. You're also being bloody cheeky in forgetting a lot of your guests will have also had to book the Monday off work to be at your wedding, too.

I've thought that before running

Given OP has disclosed venue and virtually the date it seems incredibly strange to continue to demonstrate such absolute disdain for her guests.

voldy

voldy - they'll be getting straight off the thread to make their packed lunches!

Rather than demonstrate disdain for my guests I've said that I absolutely accept and respect their choice whether to stay at the hotel or not.

Just because I don't agree that I am obliged to pay for everyone's room, that doesn't make me a twat. It just means I don't agree with you.

I'm happy for any of my guests to see this thread because I don't think I've done anything wrong.

I don't think they would think I had either.

Everyone knows this is how the wedding business works. So long as the b/g aren't making people feel bad for not staying at their chosen venue, I don't think there is any issue.

I certainly wouldn't expect my accomodation to be paid for if I was going to this type of wedding.

I don't think many people would.

Now go troll elsewhere as I'm leaving you all to it.

Disagreeing with you does not make us trolls

Oh how I'd love a transcript of this thread to be inserted into the Order Of Service to allow the guests to decide if they're happy with the OP's views what her spending priorities should be and how grateful they should be that OP is losing money because they attended, not to mention all those £150 already knocked off the bill.

OP I haven seen anyone saying you should be expected to pay for your guests accommodation, but it's not unreasonable to suggest that your budget starting point should have allowed paying for exclusive use of the venue (which the venue states includes rooms) whether or not anyone stays. The bottom line is the price of the venue, including the cost of accommodation. Any rooms booked are a bonus.

Maggie, my dear, you have already paid for your guests' rooms. Do you understand that? You have agreed a price with the hotel in exchange for 26 rooms. You are liable for the cost of the 26 rooms. You have already agreed to pay for the rooms. Ya has pagado por las salas.

So there's no point in saying 'I don't think I should have to pay for their rooms...' You already have paid for their rooms. Not a room for every guest, no, but for 26 rooms at the hotel which is to be your wedding venue.

Now, you say you have 14 rooms filled so that will be 14 x room fee (I presume not every room is £150 a night) deducted from your bill that you will owe the hotel where you are having your wedding. Ideally you would like to fill the rest of the rooms and if you were to manage this then your bill would reduce further. If you cannot encourage another 14 people/couples to pay ~£150 a night then anything they could pay would further reduce the amount which you owe to the hotel.

So, the more money your guests pay to stay at this hotel = a lower bill for you.

Enjoy your honeymoon. Friends of ours went to Dominican Republic for a month for their honeymoon. All inclusive, five star spa, swim up bars. It looked fab.

OP has flounced

not to mention all those £150 already knocked off the bill. and their faces when they find out some only knocked £30 off the bill

Why didn't you just book the honeymoon room and then let the guests sort themselves out. I don't agree that they should move hotels though.

So you nagged friends and made them change to your hotel after one night so need to pack and move hotel

And you save £150

And I will say it again. Double check and ask to see the insurance of the two ladies babysitting

Childcare pli will not cover a carer if not in the same room as her child/ren in a public place /hotel etc

And if they only check on the rooms if noises are heard on the monitor

And God forbid if there was a fire how the hell will two ladies get all the children out of different locked bedrooms safely and quickly

I'm shocked after the responses you had on this thread that you even considered forcing them to change rooms mid weekend. So rude as a host to inconvenience and manipulate guests like that.

If I were a guest at this wedding and saw this thread and ops posts I'd be withdrawing my acceptance and having nothing further to do with the OP.

Bookkeeping and accountancy rule here. Until money is in the bank, you can't say its yours and you have to budget on the fact that its a liability.

This means when you plan your budget for a wedding then the entire cost of the wedding is YOUR liability. It is not your guests. Your empty rooms are an asset you can sell, but if you don't then they are an asset you have to write off anyway, by their nature.

Therefore your wedding costs are everyone's room. Its just you may be able to resell that part of your wedding.

Fastday seeing as I'm not actually paying for the rooms, the guests are paying the hotel directly, that's not technically true.

They are paying for a room the same as they would be any hotel they chose.

The only difference is that any unfilled rooms get charged back to me.

^^This is categorically incorrect, and believing that is why you are in the current mess you are in, because you don't properly understand budgeting and didn't properly think about the needs, expectations and budget of your guest you would be selling rooms to. You needed to think about it, in those terms, in the same way any hotel or guest house would need to think about filling rooms to cover their costs.

You are now selling your assets using emotional blackmail if you force guests to move hotels though.

I don't think that's cool, and you use up the asset of goodwill and friendship in doing so too.

Great post, RedToothbrush.

I don't think the operant to be mercenary she was just taken in by a slick marketing spiel by the hotel who convinced her into believing that this arrangement is how weddings normally work.

The op has no previous experience of organising a wedding.

The hotel has years of experience of sales/marketing.

It might be slick marketing spiel.

Marketing spiel that you face every day for any number of every day things, to cars, to houses.

Its still a lot of money to spend and you need to engage your brain when spending large amounts (especially money you don't have).

Its too easy to blame other people for marketing instead, rather than working out what would happen if you couldn't sell as many rooms as you might hope to. Having no experience, is actually more of a reason to hesitate rather than jump in, rather than blame it on being a victim.