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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect wedding guests to book a room at the hotel we've booked for exclusive use not the hotel down the road

423 replies

maggiethemagpie · 25/02/2016 19:04

So we're getting married.... we have booked an exclusive use hotel which means we will be charged for all rooms that are not filled. The wedding is on a Sunday so quite a few guests are going home on the Sunday night and not staying over. That I don't have a problem with. But one couple have booked two nights in the sister hotel to our hotel (so similar prices) as they could not book a room on the Saturday (as it is being used for another wedding). Despite knowing we will have to pay for all the rooms in 'our' hotel they are refusing to move hotels as they don't want the inconvenience.

I probably am BU as I know it was our choice to take the risk of an exclusive, and they can stay wherever they want, but as we will likely not fill more than half of the rooms we are facing a massive bill now (like 1.5k) and it just seems a bit unfair if they're staying in the sister hotel down the road just because they can't /don't want to move on the morning of the wedding.

Really wish I had not booked an exclusive venue now, especially on a Sunday night.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 26/02/2016 10:02

Tbh if you had the wedding on a Saturday then prob all the rooms would have been booked - 26 rooms isn't a lot for a family wedding iyswim

But many will leave early and drive home if they can't get time off work on the Monday

Have a lovely wedding :)

Still say £150 is a lot for a guest to pay for sleeping on a bed for a few hours

Maybe if the hotel lower their price others will stay there and not elsewhere

Bearbehind · 26/02/2016 10:05

If people go after the wedding breakfast, it just makes it more intimate for those who stay. The important people are staying anyway.

There are several things you've posted that have made me a bit Hmm but this takes the buscuit.

A wedding is supposed to be something for the guests to enjoy, as well as the B&G. I'm gobsmacked that you genuinely don't care that people will need to miss part of the day as you've chosen a location/ day which means they can't stay until the end.

As for 'the important people' - given the location and day is known, let's hope none of the 'unimportant' people are reading this!

RhiWrites · 26/02/2016 10:06

I don't know where you eat lunch stinkysnowbear but I had a fantastic lunch for two people for £30 the other day.

diddl · 26/02/2016 10:09

"Maybe if the hotel lower their price others will stay there and not elsewhere"

But the hotel doesn't care as Op is paying anyway.

If Op wants people to stay then she needs to offer the rooms at less.

Secretlove · 26/02/2016 10:17

I considered a Sunday wedding but it was a bank holiday weekend so it could have worked. I agree that Sunday weddings would be a pain for a lot of people, not so much the daytime but the evening.

budgiegirl · 26/02/2016 10:27

Maybe if the hotel lower their price others will stay there and not elsewhere

But it's not the hotel setting the price, they've just given the price as a suggestion. It's the OP who set the price for her guests. She can set it at any price she likes, depending on how much of the wedding cost she wants to recoup.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 26/02/2016 10:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TattiePants · 26/02/2016 10:40

OP, you've agreed that YABU so just enjoy the run up to your wedding and have a lovely day. If you can offer some more rooms to your guests at a reduced rate nearer the time then that's a bonus.

I used to live round the corner to the hotel and have stayed in DHH & 11DP. They were both lovely venues and I'm sure you will have a fabulous time. Some friends had lovely wedding photos taken in Fletcher Moss park round the corner if you can squeeze that in.

Meeep · 26/02/2016 10:40

Yeah in hindsight you could've said in the invites "stay at the hotel for the special price of £90", then subsidised the rest, and filled the rooms.
But it's too late now.

MadHattersWineParty · 26/02/2016 10:40

If I was spending £150 on lunch I'd bloody well hope it was 'nice' Grin

Jesus wept!!

TrippleBlessed · 26/02/2016 10:42

I feel bad for your OP, and I can imagine with all the wedding stress and costs it is perhaps making you think a little irrationally, but as you already know yourself, it is unreasonable, and in hindsight it would've been a good idea to get numbers first before booking. But don't let it get to you, its something you can't control, think positive and have a lovely day.

To recoup some of the cost could you ask the hotel if they can discount the unfilled rooms - after all if there aren't any guests in there then the hotel is not incurring any costs (bedlinen, towels, utility bills, breakfast, housekeeping etc). Or maybe change the exclusivity, if they say no?

Bearbehind · 26/02/2016 10:49

Or maybe change the exclusivity, if they say no?

Eh?

It's an exclusive use venue- the hotel don't care if the rooms are filled or not, in fact they'd probably prefer they weren't filled as it's less work.

You also can't just opt in and out of exclusive use- OP has booked exclusive use- she won't just be able to change that for no cost even if it is possible.

budgiegirl · 26/02/2016 11:00

To recoup some of the cost could you ask the hotel if they can discount the unfilled rooms - after all if there aren't any guests in there then the hotel is not incurring any costs (bedlinen, towels, utility bills, breakfast, housekeeping etc). Or maybe change the exclusivity, if they say no?

I would think that the OP would have paid a one off 'package' cost for exclusive use, I can't imagine that the hotel would offer a discount if not all the rooms are filled. After all, part of the deal with an exclusive hotel is that the hotel can't sell any of the rooms to an outside customer. They may have already turned down bookings for that particular Sunday night. They may have been able to fill the empty rooms, so it's not really fair to ask them to refund those that have not been filled by the wedding party.

diddl · 26/02/2016 11:05

Well as you say Op it was a risk, but as long as you aren't relying on a certain number of rooms being booked so that you can afford the place, then it all just goes to the general expense of a wedding.

AndNowItsSeven · 26/02/2016 11:06

Op the websites says Sunday weddings are £1k cheaper than Saturdays. Would it not have been cheaper to have done that and not booked any rooms?

MaidOfStars · 26/02/2016 11:23

Venue identified by Google.

We looked at this place, OP - it's just down the road from us. We discounted it because it would have been a bigger event than we wanted, and didn't want to fill that many hotel rooms!

It's lovely, I'm sure you'll have a great day. We got married on a Sunday too, although it was a Bank Holiday one, so no time off work necessary.

lorelei9 · 26/02/2016 11:28

I don't know why people are saying "you can't please everyone" the post the OP mad at 00:35 shows she thinks she's doing her guests a favour
It's left me wondering how some people have felt about their weddings in my life tbh...

I think the poster who posted about £150 is probably deliberately being goady but if not....I am in an okay position and can't complain but to me £150 is two days pay, a chunk of monthly mortgage payment, nearly three months groceries...

As for all this "only on MN" this is the only place I've been able to say I went without in order to attend costly weddings, because if I say it in my circle then the couple might hear and be mortified?

maydancer · 26/02/2016 12:01

OP if I were your guest I would swap to help the bride and groom out of a hole.

Hoopla12 · 26/02/2016 12:05

OP I attended a wedding as a bridesmaid at your venue very recently. The venue is beautiful inside and the wedding was fantastic.

But... I was majorly pissed off though because I paid to stay the night (the B & G charged everybody £150 per room) and when I checked in I found that DH husband and I were in a tiny room that just about fitted the double bed in, whilst two of my friends who had also booked a room ended up with two absolutely beautiful rooms, seriously they were amazing!

As a bridesmaid, I had done so much throughout the whole wedding to help the B & G and I would never normally pay that much for one night in a local hotel but having seen some of the beautiful rooms online DH and I decided to splash out as a treat to ourselves.

I was so gutted that we ended up paying £150 for a room that was so substandard compared to some of the others, yet we'd all paid the same price.

It may be a good idea that you don't charge everybody the same rate and rather match the price to the rooms.

Enjoyingthepeace · 26/02/2016 12:30

Precisely why having a small intimate wedding with only those who you love and who love you is so wonderful.... you don't have to deal with shit like this. Awful.

BabyGanoush · 26/02/2016 12:51

Lorelei, £150 equals 3 months groceries? That is, like £12 per week on groceries?

You must be the godmother of the MN chicken legend!

Only on MN indeed.

To me £150 for a hotel room is panic inducing expensive, but I gather others think it's normal.

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 26/02/2016 12:57

Hey if Lorelie can tell me how to afford three months worth of groceries for only £150 then I will be able to afford all the bloody rooms!

OP posts:
lorelei9 · 26/02/2016 12:57

Baby, i did say nearly 3 months, maybe 2.5?

I shop at Aldi, it's just for me and I will get things like rice, lentils, oats in mahousuve bags from markets etc. And use £1 shampoo. I was actually thinking I should try to pin down my supermarket spend a bit better but even if we say it's two months grocery shopping, in that context it's a hell of a lot for a hotel room and as for a lunch....my mind boggles.

Original poster
maggiethemagpie · 26/02/2016 13:24

Ah that will never work for me Lorelei - due to impaired carbohydrate metabolism/diabetes I have to have a high protein based diet which unfortunately is very expensive as it involves a lot of meat and fresh produce... so things like rice lentils and oats are out.

As for the room price, maybe my mind is skewed by staying regularly in London for work, we use premier inn which is quite basic and it's usually at least £130 for bed and breakfast.

I suppose it's not really comparable to where I live though (major city in NW)

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 26/02/2016 13:37

Errrr no. You also forget that being Northern, us folks in these 'ere parts are rather fond of getting value for money. There is a reason that the two restaurants that have tried to get Michelin stars in the city, haven't done quite as well as they hoped. Because of this attitude that they want a cracking place but at a sensible price. £150 a nice is most definitely a London price and not one you'd expect to pay for a night up in the NW except if you were really, really splashing out (or someone else is paying) and even then most would look around for a better deal imho.