Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this woman taking the proverbial, or am I actually unreasonable?

387 replies

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 23/02/2016 12:07

Invited DD1s friend over for a play date in half term, and we were expecting her at 10. At 11.30 there was still no sign, so I sent mum a text asking if friend was still coming. Mum said yes, but could she now stay the night as something had come up and she didn't have anyone else to ask.

Her DD has never been here before, but DD1 likes her so I said yes, no problem, ad generally I am happy to help people in a bind, though I was a bit Hmm that she was happy to leave her DD with people she's never met overnight.

Friend came, the girls had a great time and we're good as gold. All good. Roll on for friend to be collected, and the mother texts to say she'll be over at 8 now not 6 - ok fine, no problem for me, and girls are happy.

This is where I'm not sure if being a cow or of mum is BU. 10 mins after leaving here she asks if I can have her DD overnight this Monday , as again something had come up- I said ok and hadher DD from after school mon and dropped her at school this morning, thinking that was the end of the matter. Only it wasn't - she's just text me and asked for me to have her again after school and overnight tomorrow.

I've said no. I might be being unreasonable, because technically there isn't really any reason why she can't come, I just feel a bit of a habit forming and don't want to fall into that trap. No actual reasons have been given for the need for me to have her, just 'something has come up'.

Her DD is lovely, but DD2 is in teething hell and when she's staying over I'm anxious the crying might leave her tired for school, so find it difficult to relax, and my DD doesn't sleep as well as she's not used to sharing a room, which is absolutely fine for the occasional night but I really don't want her knackered come the end of the week as we are away for the weekend and it'll be crap if she's grumpy.

Please tell me I'm not being horrible and that you would have said no too?! Blush

OP posts:
Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 24/02/2016 07:38

Morning all, sorry for not updating last night, DD2 was a teething nightmare!

She text me back! She said, and I quote, "wow, I only asked for a bit of help, I don't know why your getting arsey with me! I thought you were gonna be a good friend but obviously I was wrong. Thanks for nothing"

Angry Angry Angry

The CHEEK of it!! Absolutely LIVID!

Who the hell does she think she is?!

OP posts:
UnderTheGreenwoodTree · 24/02/2016 07:41

Bloody hell - definitely a pisstaker. You were really nice too.

Text back "I think you're confusing friend and overnight childcare. Best wishes."

Grin
NorksAreMessy · 24/02/2016 07:43

Oh, she really is the gift that keeps on giving, isn't she!
Please warn other mothers that they are next in line for her particular brand of friendship.
What a peach

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 24/02/2016 07:43

Text her back

"Well I was never under any illusion we would ever be friends. Bye."

Hissy · 24/02/2016 07:45

Do being a good friend is all about parenting and feeding her child?

Friendship works both ways.

She's a piss taker, the poor kid.

ChameleonCircuit · 24/02/2016 07:52

A BIT of help? Blimey, what would she expect as a LOT of help?! I'm gobsmacked.

Arfarfanarf · 24/02/2016 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 24/02/2016 07:57

😦😦😦😦

Canshopwillshop · 24/02/2016 07:57

Whatthe - she sounds deluded! She hasn't even bothered to make the effort to meet you to start the very basics of a friendship before asking you to look after her DD overnight on multiple occasions! Definitely a 'friend' you can well do without!

icelollycraving · 24/02/2016 08:01

Sweet Jesus!! Your reply was perfectly polite,kind & a lot softer than most people would have been. Time to unleash the beast in you!!

witsender · 24/02/2016 08:02

"But we've only met once?"

expatinscotland · 24/02/2016 08:03

I would block her. Pisstaking idiot.

CruCru · 24/02/2016 08:03

Don't respond. That's the end of it. She won't ask again.

Goingtobeawesome · 24/02/2016 08:06

I almost feel sorry for her. No social intelligence thinking kindly or maybe she is just a user who is used to bullying people to get her own way. I suppose she thought someone kind enough to help would mean they are going to be a good friend/person.

BalloonSlayer · 24/02/2016 08:12

Text back: "Only asked for a BIT of help? You asked for a MASSIVE amount of help and I gave you a LOT of help. You need a nanny, love."

maybebabybee · 24/02/2016 08:14

Sorry but I would not be able to resist texting back Grin

mickeysminnie · 24/02/2016 08:24

Reply, "take your head out of the glue bottle!"

Trickydecision · 24/02/2016 08:27

Don't respond. That's the end of it. She won't ask again.

Ignore CruCru's advice! Text something on the lines of Balloon's post and see what she says. On no account block her.

We want more entertainment.

Anniegetyourgun · 24/02/2016 08:30

I've noticed that people get the most arsey when they have been rumbled. You're supposed to believe their threadbare excuses, not point out the logical flaws.

No response is probably the best response, but I like some of the above, especially BalloonSlayer's. Or "thanks for the three nights I've already hosted your daughter at my expense would be quite nice, now you mention it". But just think rather than send. She isn't worth wearing out your phone for.

Flowersonthewall · 24/02/2016 08:33

I'd have to reply....but that's not what a friendship is! what an absolute pee taker!

MouldyPeach · 24/02/2016 08:38

She is an absolute piss taker but I hope it doesn't affect the friendship between your dds if they get on well.

ZanyMobster · 24/02/2016 08:42

Wow, I am stunned, I have met quite a few people I have thought have taken the piss but they are so minor compared to this. One friend used to use her annual leave on the weeks her ex had her dcs to go on holiday with her new boyfriend then would ask us to have the DCs on her weeks during the school holidays but that doesn't seem so bad now.

The bit she doesn't seem to get either is that she hasn't actually tried to be a good friend, you hardly know her. How weird! What on earth did she do for childcare before?

CrazyDuchess · 24/02/2016 08:47

I have lurked throughout this thread but that last text.... wow

ConfusedConfusedConfused

WitchWay · 24/02/2016 08:49

"I thought you were gonna be a good friend"

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

complete pushover good childminder more like

Shock Grin

IdaJones · 24/02/2016 08:55

DD is of course welcome to come and play in the holidays

She'll probably come back to you in the next school holidays wanting free overnight childcare again.