What happened to the thread where kids hadn't been picked up?

[Shouldknowbetter2015]

This is the first chance I've had to check since this morning & i can't find it. Hoping there was a happy ending???

[Aeroflotgirl]

No she did not come for them as I recall, Police found her in the pub.

[Christinayangstwistedsista]

I feel sorry for them all, it's an awful situation

The kids are the priority but what a difficult situation for the dad, going to work and then finding out his wife has abandoned his kids

What kind of state of mind must the mum have been in? With young kids you are always on high alert, making sure they are okay

[Christinayangstwistedsista]

aero

Jeez, that's even worse

[gooseberryroolz]

I don't understand why you kept coming on to say you thought it was bull and are now saying you didn't,

Not at all. I've never called anything 'bull' in my life. There was an hour or so yesterday morning when I began to doubt that OP would ever come back. I began to get a bit dubious then, until the update.

[Christinayangstwistedsista]

Posters don't need to update though, they are under no obligation, and If something serious wS kicking off in real life surely the last thing any of us would be worried about is updating mn

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Yes as it stands at the moment as obviously little to go on. but we see time and time again on MN about people who refuse to leave eeb though they want to because at least witg both parebts at home one has some control over what happens where's sending them to their NRP house they have no idea what they will be exposed to or what state things would be in.

it's entirely possible this is what's going on.

[PrettyBrightFireflies]

Did the OP say the mum was drunk?

Because I read the thread totally differently.

I interpreted it as mum having MH issues, having a crisis and going to see her friend at home (who owns a pub) and dad knowing that's where she'd be (at her friends home) when he was notified that she's gone AWOL.

It never occurred to me that she was an alcoholic

[gooseberryroolz]

Not bollocks goosebury it's true, yes I will judge a person who pulls a stunt like that!

Well you hear it and think 'disgusting' and 'stunt' and I hear it and think 'you'd have to be really in a bad way to put your DC through that'.

But I really don't see what a thread descending into slagging her off achieves, whichever outlook you have. It doesn't help the DC, it makes MN look dreadful. What's the point?

[Aeroflotgirl]

I know Christina, people are assuming she is an alcoholic! She may or may not be, tgat is an assumption. She may have just decided to go down the pub on a whim and get pissed. Yes she needs professional help and mabey SS input and support, what she did was serious and neglect. The other caregiver was abroad, so coukd not come easily.

[Aeroflotgirl]

goosebury don't you think people will look at this and not judge! What they mum did was neglect and abandonment! This is an open forum where discussion takes place.

[Christinayangstwistedsista]

goose is wild with those full stops

[gooseberryroolz]

[arf] at gooseberry being deleted because of the positioning of a full stop



It's not my week. (Or my thread.)

[gooseberryroolz]

goosebury don't you think people will look at this and not judge! What they mum did was neglect and abandonment! This is an open forum where discussion takes place

Well of course, with so many mothers in one place, we will all be horrified thinking of the DC.

But a society that reacts to (probable) addiction with pitchforks and cries of 'dis-custing' doesn't really help addicts or their DC does it? It's all moral judgement and stigma.

That's all I'm saying.

Anyway, I hope they're getting whatever help they need.

[Christinayangstwistedsista]

I would hope that mn would be viewed as a place where, if you were struggling, you could seek support before you did anything stupid

[myname2016]

It was a bit more than 'questioning if the OP would come back' but I don't think anything will ever be done about trolls or troll hunters, until then any threads where people need support will disintegrate I guess.

[gooseberryroolz]

Yes Christina. Or even AFTER you'd done something stupid.

[gooseberryroolz]

Please do feel free to prepare a forensic report of my posts between 4am and 7am yesterday and email it to me 2016

[Aeroflotgirl]

She certainly would not go to AIBU, would she!

[myname2016]

:) might be a bit much goose but when I have the time ...

People do to to AIBU because of the traffic.

[Blu]

AlasAlas God forbid we have entered an age where any woman in a pub must justify her child care to her companions, and that we must all feel responsible if we do not police our friends. If I am out at night with friends I assume their kids are at home with a patent or babysitter or in a sleepover. I don't ask or check!

As for the comment about people filling up the thread to ask for an update, one poster even implicated that it was rude / inconsiderate not to update because of all the posters who were 'in suspense ' . Yup, 'in suspense'. Nothing to be done about it, People are, after all, generally using social media as a leisure activity. But it is as well to be aware of this context. Especially when threads in Relationships get treated like a drama with the demands of a fast developing plot line rather than someone's real life.

[ZanyMobster]

I feel sorry for all of them based on the small amount of information we have.

If the mother is an alcoholic it is not a knowingly selfish act, it is a serious illness and she would need help. It feels selfish, I have been on the receiving end but deep down I always knew they couldn't help it.

If she is not and just fancied going to get pissed and leaving her kids at a friends that of course is a totally different scenario. I would have little sympathy with the mum of course in this case.

We cannot possibly hand out blame with what we know now.

[Slowlygettingthehangofthings]

What is wrong with some of the posters on here - of course the woman should be judged!!! And very harshly too. Alcoholic or not, she made a sober choice to visit the pub over collecting her DC, knowing full well that their father was away on business. The sexism on this thread os appalling. If a man had behaved in this way he would (quite rightly) be called every name under the sun. This woman doesn't need "help"- she needs a long hard look in the mirror. And as for the posters who have suggested that the father was in any way to blame, kindly go give your heads a wobble!

[BillSykesDog]

The Mum was drunk. The description the OP used was she had 'gone for a drink after work and got carried away'. That's being drunk, not seeking out support from a friend for a MH crisis.

I agree completely with you Aero, had it been a man who'd done this he would be unremittingly flamed. Not praised for abandoning them with a sitter rather than all on their own, or given sympathy for their 'issues'.

Alcoholism is very sad. But when you have children if you choose not to deal with it you are choosing alcohol over your children every time you have a drink. Lots of people do give up.

[Slowlygettingthehangofthings]

I hate the expression " I got carried away". It implies that the wrongdoer was simply passive in the situation and so should be absolved of responsibility for their actions.