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AIBU?

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Original poster

What happened to the thread where kids hadn't been picked up?

167 replies

Shouldknowbetter2015 · 22/02/2016 18:14

This is the first chance I've had to check since this morning & i can't find it. Hoping there was a happy ending???

OP posts:
Underdogsbollocks · 22/02/2016 22:37

Hic thank you for putting it much better than I did!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 22/02/2016 22:42

Iirc the OP had said when arranging play dates it was always with the Dad, this was the first time the Mum arranged it.

From the sounds of it the dad probably didn't even know the DC were going on a play date, (I don't think the OP even knew if they were together/separated) so it would be unfair to say it was his fault for being un contactable when he hadn't arranged it/wasn't aware.

gooseberryroolz · 22/02/2016 23:03

You have been sceptical goozeberry to be fair.

That's a trap isn't it? Grin

YOU think I SOUNDED sceptical on another thread so naturally it's fine for my completely vanilla, informative, posts on THIS thread to be deleted?

Okay then.

turkeylovessprout · 22/02/2016 23:04

Just because she was drunk does not mean they were not plotting. It is entirely possible. :)

gooseberryroolz · 22/02/2016 23:05

I will admit to being sceptical about the terrorism theory, no matter what some people are trying to pin on me Wink

TheFormidableMrsC · 22/02/2016 23:18

I am actually glad to have the opportunity to post about this. I contributed to last night's thread and actually had trouble sleeping because of it. For the first time ever, my laptop went on before my DS got his Rice Crispies this morning as I was desperate to know there was a positive outcome.

I hope OP is reading this...she did a marvellous job under what must have been hugely stressful circumstances, I wanted to PM her today but decided against it as I am sure she has been overwhelmed with messages and I didn't want to add to her stress.

The thing is, I had a friend whose Mum did this, many many years ago, we are both the wrong side of 45 now. She ended up as a boarder at our school (or at my house most of the time) because Mum couldn't look after her due to huge alcohol issues. On the outside, everything was fine, lovely and respectable, inside it was a bloody awful mess. Clothes weren't washed, beds weren't changed, meals weren't cooked, my friend essentially fended for herself. Thankfully she wasn't four years old as the youngest was in last night's scenario.

Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. I am just glad that the children had OP there to look after them, that Mum was found safe, that Dad has flown home, that hopefully this will be the "straw that broke the camel's back" and that the issues can be addressed.

What really shone through last night was the amount of lovely M'netters who gathered round to offer support. This is what this place is all about.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 22/02/2016 23:21

nothing of that kidney

Grin
manicinsomniac · 22/02/2016 23:44

I don't think the Dad did anything wrong at all. He has to do his job and I didn't see any evidence that they mum had done this a lot - the OP said that the youngest child had never slept over at anyone else's house before so was upset at bedtime and was upset and clingy the next morning. Children who are regularly abandoned would have been more blasé, I'd have thought.

TheFormidableMrsC · 22/02/2016 23:53

manic, yes I agree...we don't know the background but I would suggest that Mum is doing an epic job of "normal" day in day out. I really do hope she gets the help she needs.

As I posted last night, I was also a parent that was asked to pick up a child from school (a friend of my DD but at a different school) as Mum was "unwell". I should make it clear that Mum was a good friend. It transpired that Mum had gone off to commit suicide. I can't even begin to express the stress of the 48 hours that followed. I was also 7 months pregnant at the time. It did end well, thankfully, but was an horrific experience. I didn't speak to my friend for a very long time afterwards, I couldn't get past the stress she had put me and indeed her DD under. I have a lot better understanding of mental health issues now...

Aeroflotgirl · 23/02/2016 00:11

Mums behaviour was disgusting, my sympathies lie with those poor chikdren who thus probably happens quite regularly. Father probably has to work to support his kids and pay the bills, so cannot be in his wife's back all the time. Hope SS have been informed so the family can be supported. Never gain op for this family, or if you do, request you have dads contact details and another responsible local friend/relative that coukd look after them in an emergency.

gooseberryroolz · 23/02/2016 00:19

Mums behaviour was disgusting,

So now this thread becomes the public stocks where we pelt the (probable) alcoholic with rotten veg?

You don't KNOW what anypne's behaviour was like. It's all second or third hand, based on about a dozen posts.

TheFormidableMrsC · 23/02/2016 00:25

gooseberryroolz..quite, no judgement here...but going on what OP said in other thread, Dad identified where Mum might be and she was..I absolutely do not agree with any type of pelting, who knows what goes on people's lives...I look well groomed and happy on the outside, my kids are loved, fed, supported, the most important thing in my life. I am broken, however.

You cannot judge unless you've been there...

BillSykesDog · 23/02/2016 00:34

gooseberryroolz, she abandoned her kids to get pissed. Yes I hope she gets help and sorts out her problems. But at the same time, there are some things you just have to judge because they are plain wrong. And this is one of them. I know Mumsnet is all 'no you mustn't judge', but not judging someone who dumps their kids to get rat arsed is just ridiculous.

gooseberryroolz · 23/02/2016 00:36

You cannot judge unless you've been there..

Exactly MrsC, and the mother in question has never even set foot on MN, as far as we know, so it feels a bit off so start pillorying her.

gooseberryroolz · 23/02/2016 00:38

Bill you know the expression "nobody in their right mind would do that"?

I think that applies.

Alasalas · 23/02/2016 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aeroflotgirl · 23/02/2016 07:14

Love the double standards and sexism on Mumsnet! If this were a dad doing this, it would be, so different and phrases such as "what an abusive prick" or "fecking awful father' used, so because it's a woman doing this, it's ok Hmm. Yes the mums behaviour was disgusting, whether she is an alcoholic or not, my feelings are with those children who it seems this is the norm. They don't have a choice.

MissHooliesCardigan · 23/02/2016 07:16

gooseberry You actually said, 'Mum was in the pub. Apparently'
That reads completely differently.

Aeroflotgirl · 23/02/2016 07:17

She left her kids with op to get pissed with her friends, leaving two children scared and wondering where the hell she is. Yes she probably has a problem, that's not the kids fault. She is an adult with choices and responsibilities.

gooseberryroolz · 23/02/2016 07:17

Love the double standards and sexism on Mumsnet!

Don't talk bollocks Aeroflot.

I just said let's not start publicly pillorying a parent who obviously has issues and isn't here to defend themselves.

Don't accuse me of sexism and double standards please. I'd extend the same sensitivity to a male parent who at least ensured the DC were cared for before they spun off on a drinking spree.

gooseberryroolz · 23/02/2016 07:19

Oh did I? Full stop and comma are the same button on this bloody thing. Yes that does add a 'tone' to it. It was a typo.

Aeroflotgirl · 23/02/2016 07:22

Not bollocks goosebury it's true, yes I will judge a person who pulls a stunt like that!

Christinayangstwistedsista · 23/02/2016 07:24

mrsc

Great posts

Christinayangstwistedsista · 23/02/2016 07:26

I wasn't clear, did she actually ever come for them ?

myname2016 · 23/02/2016 07:26

That's sort of what I was trying to get at a bit gooseberry

You have made it clear that you don't believe a word, which is fine, there are a couple of threads running now I think are a pile of bull but I don't understand why you kept coming on to say you thought it was bull and are now saying you didn't, I won't pretend to understand as I don't.