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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Playdate DCs haven't been picked up. Should I drop them off?

1023 replies

Recordmirror · 21/02/2016 20:33

So a mum from my DCs school asked me to have her two DCs today as her two are the same age/in the same class as my two youngest.
The DCs have been here a couple of times before but usually I arrange this with their dad and he picks them up.
But he is away on business and so their mum asked me to take them today as a favour whilst she is in work.

I've had them since 9 this morning. She was supposed to pick them up at 6:30. I called her at 7 and 7:30 and 8 and 8:15 but she's not replying. I have text her a number of times and nothing.

My DCs should be in bed. Her eldest isn't bothered but her youngest is getting upset saying that she should be in bed. I haven't told them that their mum should have picked them up by now.

Should I go round to theirs? I don't want to worry the DCs if their mum isn't there when we get there. But I would like to know where she is. So would I be unreasonable to go round there?

OP posts:
bluespiral · 22/02/2016 10:45

How dreadful. The pub all night. Was it the Bridge and Hare?

yorkshapudding · 22/02/2016 10:45

"So everyone's ok with the fact that their mother just ran off then?"

Well, it doesn't sound as though the Dad is OK with it if he's cutting his business trip short and immediately flying home. The police will automatically notify children's services and they may take further action but that's something the OP will be involved in.

GinIsIn · 22/02/2016 10:46

In the PUB?! What the actual fuck.... If you can get so 'carried away' that you forget your children, you have a serious problem!! The fact her DH knew where she was sadly suggests she has form for this. Well done, OP- you must be exhausted! Flowers If you haven't already informed the school of all the details, I would - there are oh so many things wrong with this situation!

WorraLiberty · 22/02/2016 10:46

She 'got carried away' and spent the whole night drinking and ignoring her phone??

ImperialBlether · 22/02/2016 10:46

She must have a problem with alcohol. Those poor kids.

PerspicaciaTick · 22/02/2016 10:46

She must have serious problems - I don't know anyone who would "forget" to go home after work, "forget" to collect their DCs for hours, "forget" that they had responsibilities at home or "forget" that their children needed to go to school.

Quiero · 22/02/2016 10:46

I don't even know where to start with what you've just posted there CooPie - do you work for the Daily Mail?

whoseafraidofnaomiwolf · 22/02/2016 10:47

Goodness me! Well done OP for staying cool and managing the situation. It does sound as if that family has a problem that they've been trying to contain (interesting that in your OP you said that you usually deal with dad - makes me wonder whether Dad has been trying to hold it all together & cover Mums problem. Surely no-one goes from being a contentious parent to going to a pub and completely forgetting their parental responsibilities overnight? It sounds like this family has a whole backstory and that they need some help. I hope this event is the trigger they need to get it.

Gileswithachainsaw · 22/02/2016 10:47

Me thinks that was probably the plan all along.

ask around, I bet she has form.

unlikely she lost that much time.

Original poster
Recordmirror · 22/02/2016 10:47

I am trying not to post too many revealing details about the family and what has happened so they aren't recognised.
But this doesn't seem to be the first time the mum has done something similar and she needs some support.

The school.have been informed.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 22/02/2016 10:48

'I hope her husband deals with her severely'

Bloody hell

Glad all sorted for you Op and the family can get some help.

IdaJones · 22/02/2016 10:48

Bridge and Hare?

Stumbletrip40 · 22/02/2016 10:48

She has to be some sort of alcholic/have mental health issues - what sort of person with 2 DCs at a play-date pops into a pub and gets 'carried away' and completely forgets their children? Very, very odd indeed. Police have been looking for her to I'm sure they'll notify Social Services. Well done Op.

diddl · 22/02/2016 10:48

So she got so pissed she stayed over at the pub?

Gileswithachainsaw · 22/02/2016 10:48

op you are a saint. well done Flowers

Stumbletrip40 · 22/02/2016 10:49

if the mum has form for this, the DH has no business travelling IMO, and not being contactable - wtf!

LineyReborn · 22/02/2016 10:49

bluespiral indeed.

weeblueberry · 22/02/2016 10:50

Yeah my first thought was that she's clearly got an alcohol problem that's reared its ugly head. Wondering if the couple are separated and the father has custody most of the time.

Am glad she left them with such a responsible person OP xx

imwithspud · 22/02/2016 10:50

I agree if she was in the pub all night and if she does have form for this (which it sounds like she does) then she needs some sort of support to help deal with what ever issues she's having. Hopefully social services will be able to help the family as a whole and prevent something like this from happening again.

Gileswithachainsaw · 22/02/2016 10:50

So he's supposed to quit his job then?

where would that leave them.

3luckystars · 22/02/2016 10:50

I'm finally posting because I didn't want to be taking up space, but I couldn't sleep last night after reading this thread! Tell that thick cow that when you see her please. I nearly had to take the day off myself Smile

Thanks for the update, I'm glad she is safe and hope the kids are alright. Mind yourself.

angelos02 · 22/02/2016 10:51

She must be known to the police if they knew to look in pubs for her?

MrsDeVere · 22/02/2016 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yorkshapudding · 22/02/2016 10:51

"So she was found in the pub but STILL didn't go and sort her children out??!!"

I imagine that by the time the Police tracked her down she was in no fit state to be in charge of DC's. In which case they would not allow her to just go to OP's and collect them.

Sadly, none of this surprises me. I work with children and families and this sort of thing (and much worse) is far more comman than people realise Sad

scarednoob · 22/02/2016 10:52

When I was about 4, my best friend had a mother who turned out to be an alcoholic. My DM came to get me, only to find me and my friend playing on the driveway. The mother had passed out in the kitchen with a chip pan on the stove and smoke everywhere - a few mins later and it could have been a tragedy. Even knowing she was responsible for two little 4 year olds wasn't enough to make her put down the bottle. This sounds similar Sad

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