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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to thibk there's a lot of mansplaining going on at the moment?

556 replies

StealthPolarBear · 17/02/2016 09:58

On mn I mean. Just something I seem to be spotting more and more.
happy to be told I'm wrong in words of one syllable

OP posts:
FelicityFunknickle · 17/02/2016 14:38

I believe mansplaining is a thing. (But I will check with DH when he gets home later)
I don't know if there's more of it on mn recently, but there may well be. I shall be keeping an eye out.
As an aside, if it is now possible of course it fucking isn't for a woman to be be-penised, then will that affect the statistics on mansplaining?

Lweji · 17/02/2016 14:39

If mumsnet can talk about vasectomies, why can't men talk about childbirth?

They can talk about it. What we don't accept is for us to be told how it is. Or for men to make decisions for us regarding child birth.

LadyIsabellaWrotham · 17/02/2016 14:45

Mumsnetters are talking about vasectomies to other MNers. They're not going onto Pistonheads and telling the men about them. When male MNers come on to vasectomy threads to talk they are, rightly treated with special respect.

Slowtrain2dawn · 17/02/2016 14:52
What do you see when you look in the mirror?!
LordBrightside · 17/02/2016 15:00

"brightside you don't think objectification of women exists"

That's not true. I'm sure the objectification exists, but it can only be exceptionally rare and would involve a psychotic condition.

Adults of any gender looking at other adults in a sexual sense is not "objectification". These adults do not suddenly believe that a person is an object because they are thinking sexually.

LordBrightside · 17/02/2016 15:04

"You're wonderful, LordBrightside. If only we could all be as marvellous as you. Don't you realise that not seeing/thinking about/considering gender is a privilege most of us don't have? "

I know many egalitarian women too who reject feminism. How do you dismiss THEM?

Theoretician · 17/02/2016 15:05

'Men do x' doesn't mean 'All men do x', does it?

In logic it does. In everyday English it could be a reasonable generalisation. If fewer than 50% of men do x, you should probably say some men do x. I hope this answer has not been too detailed.

AskingForAPal · 17/02/2016 15:10

It's not my job to dismiss other women, Brightside. I'll leave that to you, you seem to be doing fine so far.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 17/02/2016 15:11

I'd understood MN to be written in everyday English, more or less, but I was also thinking about class theory ('men' being a shorthand for 'men as a class'), since that's usually what feminist approaches to gendered behaviour are based on.

But appreciate the detail. Wink

AskingForAPal · 17/02/2016 15:12

Oh good Theoretician - can you remind me of something if you know about logic. Isn't there some logical fallacy which involves mistaking saying "All werewolves are male" with "All men are werewolves"? I can't remember the name of it.

LordBrightside · 17/02/2016 15:12

"It's not my job to dismiss other women, Brightside. I'll leave that to you, you seem to be doing fine so far."

You'll have to provide an example of me dismissing women based on gender or your argument falls. But you know that.

FelicityFunknickle · 17/02/2016 15:12

it can only be exceptionally rare and involve a psychotic condition
Good grief.
Ok, so you don't accept the term objectification in the way it was meant and rather chose to use it to mean that objectifying would refer to an individual being literally unable to view someone as human and would actually believe them to be an inorganic, inert figure.
So you either don't believe that "objectification" of women and girls happens, or know it does and don't give a shit and just like being a smart arse.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 17/02/2016 15:19

it can only be exceptionally rare and involve a psychotic condition

See what I mean? It doesn't happen because brightside (who calls himself a "lord", no less) doesn't believe it. Because we wimmins don't know what we see every fucking day.

Not the wisest representative of men on MN we could hope for.

LineyReborn · 17/02/2016 15:20

I'm with the 'Smart Arse' theory.

LineyReborn · 17/02/2016 15:21

Or maybe 'Not Smart Arse'.

AskingForAPal · 17/02/2016 15:25

"A lot of "feminists" do this. For them it's not about equality, but about gaining supremacy and getting men back a bit for centuries of injustice. And they are indiscriminate, any man will do, whether that man has done anything wrong or not." There you go!

That's dismissing a lot of women, isn't it? There are about 27 million adult women in the UK. Two and a half years ago a poll said 27% of women identified as feminists. Even if that hasn't gone up since (strongly guess it has as the younger people were far more likely to say yes, and the older ones less so), that's more than 7 million "feminists" in the UK alone. And you're dismissing "a lot of feminists" so let's assume a few million at least.

Job done there I think. I won't be responding to you any more as I feel it's not really the point of the thread.

Pannn · 17/02/2016 15:25

As a man I can confirm this is no mansplaining on MN. Also, for future ref. mansplaining would be far more than just a man talking to woman as if she is as thick as he is. It's much more complicated than that, but I won't burden you with the detail.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 17/02/2016 15:28

'Objectification of women is rare'?

Page 3? Lads Mags? Catcalling, street harassment, sexual assault, rape?

Fucking hell. I thought MN was meant to be something of a safe haven for women to be open and discuss things without being told our issues are all inside our silly little heads but turns out I was wrong.

Seriously, Brightside, why are you on this website - you seem to have a seething hatred of women? What are you here to talk about? Why did you join?

FelicityFunknickle · 17/02/2016 15:28

I know what pp mean though.Some feminists want it all their own way.
They want equal pay, but insist on maternity rights
They want to have doors held open for them but don't want to justify wearing a skirt above the knee if they get raped.
Hmm

LilacSpunkMonkey · 17/02/2016 15:29

Oh, and how many times has NAMALT been used on this thread?

How many times does it get used across the site?

But some men are willfully ignoring that.

Owllady · 17/02/2016 15:40

Whoah Shock

Peyia · 17/02/2016 15:45

Oh dear, marks place for shit storm.

By the way. Two wrongs don't make it right Wink

QuiteIrregular · 17/02/2016 15:55

Adding agreement to those who have identified academia as a hotbed of mansplaining! I do think Jeanne 's point about classes makes a lot of sense of the patterns it turns up in. Or so my wife has always said - that men 'explain' things in an equivalently patronising way to other men, but they only do so to men whom they regard as lesser or beneath them. The same men will do it quite happily to women at any point in the given hierarchy - suggesting they assume all women occupy the same space as their junior colleague, employee, apprentice, etc.

TaraCarter · 17/02/2016 15:57

Yeah, where does the thing about feminists wanting men to open doors for them come from? Confused

As a feminist, I want to know why opening a door for the person(s) immediately behind me in acts like a dog whistle for a huge crowd to appear, who all rush through the door with nary a "fanks mate" between them.

Lweji · 17/02/2016 15:58

I think (after looking up her other posts) that FelicityFunknickle was being sarcastic.

Note: it would help if you made it more obvious.

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